WEBVTT

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Welcome

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to your webinar on trauma and how it complicates food recovery.

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My name is Florence, and I'll be facilitating today.

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Quick housekeeping,

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I

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think the webinar will be about ninety minutes, which will not include the live q and a.

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I will stay for as long as you want with the live q and a. It will be recorded.

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I will send out a replay.

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It's not that I've disabled the chat, but the chat's gonna be on another screen, and I won't see it during the presentation.

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But if you have a question,

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I wonder if there's a q and a. If there's not, pop it in the chat.

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And at the end, we can also look at the chat screen to see if there's any questions there.

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Also,

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I have some very, very basic beginner somatic experiencing exercises.

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We're gonna do one of them. I'm gonna make a presentation. We're gonna take a short break.

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I'll come back. We'll we'll practice a somatic exercise

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so you can get an experience of that. And then we'll move into the chat g p sorry.

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We'll move into the live q and a. And

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there will be, a link that I will give you guys with the replay with some more

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somatic experiencing

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exercises that you can do at home on your own.

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Okay.

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So I wanted to start with what is sugar addiction, what is ultra processed food addiction, what is food addiction.

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So here's a definition of sugar addiction,

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technically, just addiction,

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from the health line.

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An addiction is a chronic dysfunction of the brain system

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involving reward,

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motivation,

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and memory.

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It's a dysfunction of the brain

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system.

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It causes a compulsive or obsessive pursuit of a reward

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and an irrational

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lack of concern over

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or denial of negative consequences.

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Here's medical news today.

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Addiction is an inability to stop using a substance or engaging in a behavior

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despite

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known adverse consequences or negative consequences

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and the genuine desire

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and persistent desire to stop.

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Oh, gosh. I have health on here twice. Must have been really good.

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Addiction is not diagnosed until there's a history of chronic use,

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attempts to reduce and relapse.

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So we don't even know if we have an addiction in play until there's this

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struggle to try and reduce, if not eliminate your consumption, and it's

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you know, there's there's relapse in place.

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And the final definition here from recovery answers is people experiencing addiction are also prone to cycles of relapse and remission,

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spontaneous ones, ones that just kinda naturally happen. There's, like, times in our life

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when we're we're more active in our addiction, and there's times in our life where it feels like it settles if not goes into remission.

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And these are predictable cycles of an addiction process.

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And that despite these cycles of, you know, sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse,

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addictions typically worsen over time.

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In this presentation,

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I'm going to make the case

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that it does not just involve the brain system

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and that relapse is not just about reward, motivation, and memory,

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and it's not necessarily

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the case that addictions themselves are are getting worse over time.

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I'm gonna make the case that what's happening is our dysregulated

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nervous system

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is getting worse over time because without an intervention,

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it will always worsen

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or typically.

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Okay. So here's a summary. It's considered a neurophysiological

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condition involving the brain and neurotransmitters

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reward and withdrawal.

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It involves an adaptation of the brain to a mind altering substance.

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And because the brain is is adjusting to that substance, it's down regulating dopamine and serotonin and

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endorphin and catecholamine

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receptor sites. We need more and more and more, and there's an increasing tolerance.

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There's Kick cyclical continuous use despite adverse consequences.

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There's cravings,

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Summit. There's crash.

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There's a repeat cycle.

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Obsession,

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can't get enough, need a steady supply, and we become day to day dependent upon it.

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We don't just we don't just use and abuse sugar and ultra processed foods to feel good,

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but we also eventually just use it just to feel normal, just to feel like life is bearable.

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We also know in our current understanding of sugar addiction

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that the microbiome

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plays a very big part of this picture, this problem

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that our microbiome

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bacteria, that when we get pathogenic bacteria,

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they will crave sugar.

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When we don't have enough of the bacteria that are friendly and beneficial,

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they might not create enough neurotransmitters

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like serotonin

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and even,

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yeah, other feel good neurotransmitters.

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So we don't feel great.

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So, of course, we're gonna be looking for quick quick fixes out in our environment.

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So the microbiome is a huge, huge piece of the picture. We know that.

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We know genetics are are in play. We know the blood sugar roller coaster are also in play.

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So there's complexities here. And these are all the known aspects of of sugar addiction right now.

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The so the neuro is the brain.

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The physiological is the microbiome, genetics, blood sugars, etcetera. So we acknowledge

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in this in this, current understanding of addiction,

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the stress and emotional eating are aspects of it.

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We know we use and abuse food more when we're stressed.

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We know that we're emotional eaters,

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but those are generally considered psychological

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factors

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that compound the neurophysiological,

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the root the the neurophysiological

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foundation.

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So here's just a quick recap.

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These are typically the tools that are taught as the fundamentals of of addiction recovery programs or food addiction recovery programs.

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So the very first concept is abstinence.

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Typically, sugar flower Christophers, alcohol, and trigger foods.

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That's kind of what is most recommended to keep us safe because if the if the substance is the problem, if we take the substance away, the problem should in theory go away.

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And for many, many, many addictions,

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it does. You know? It goes into remission.

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You put the plug in the jug, you stop drinking, you stop using drugs, you stop gambling, you stop eating Sugar.

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You know?

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The problem goes away because there's nothing in your bloodstream to trigger the cravings and the compulsion and the continuous use.

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Other tools include meditation or quiet time, journaling, support calls and meetings,

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whole food meal plans, adequate protein intake,

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using a scale for portion control, and weight loss if that's desired.

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And if it's needed, some people only compulsively overeat

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sugar and ultra processed foods or their trigger foods, and they're completely they can they're totally fine with whole foods.

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So that's that's,

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not something that everyone in in a food addiction program needs, but many of us do.

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Stress reduction status strategies like breath work, relaxation,

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you know, social connection is encouraged. Maybe you do art. Maybe you take a hobby,

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whatever.

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Self care practices are essential. They're promoted. Sleep, exercise,

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hydration.

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All of those are part of the the the traditional addiction recovery toolbox.

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And these are essentials

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these are essentials for every human being,

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but these are often very neglected by those of us who

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have dysregulated nervous systems and are and, you know, are are we we have addictions.

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And these are essential

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to recovery, but for many people, especially those of us with unresolved trauma, dysregulated nervous systems, they're not enough.

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In fact, some of these tools can even feel overwhelming and triggering,

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leading to stress response, leading to a trauma response, leading to more relapse.

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And this is what I wanna talk about in the presentation today.

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So what is trauma?

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Trauma is not what most people think of. When most people think of trauma, they think of an event.

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They think of

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something

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overwhelming and painful and disturbing and distressing and abusive and

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right? So they think of the event, that the event is the trauma.

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But trauma is actually not the event. An event can be

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traumatizing,

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but not necessarily.

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It's not really about what causes the trauma.

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It's what causes a state of overwhelm.

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So trauma is a normal and natural part of life.

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It is a universal human experience.

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Everyone

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and every living creature,

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rare exceptions aside, will encounter trauma at some point.

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Trauma is actually a state of overwhelm.

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It's a state where the nervous system, the body,

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is

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is

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experiencing

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a threat or a danger,

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a demand on its system that exceeds its capacity.

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So it becomes overwhelming,

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and

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anything that can overwhelm the nervous system can be traumatic.

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So it doesn't have to be really, really huge things like hurricanes or car accidents or attack or trauma or, sorry,

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abuse. It could be something like breaking your shoelace when you've had no sleep.

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You've been binge eating sugar for days.

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You're stressed about something and your shoelace breaks, and that's the straw that breaks your back.

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That's

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what overwhelms your nervous system, and it collapses into this

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what's called the the dorsal freeze response or the trauma response.

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So because trauma is a normal and natural part of life, it it is a universal

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human experience,

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the body and every mammalian body and all bodies

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are designed to fully recover from trauma.

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With the right support, we can move through trauma and return to safety and regulation.

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When trauma is processed and resolved,

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we emerge stronger.

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We become more self aware, more self

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confident, more connected to others. We can deepen

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our connection to ourselves, other people, and even to God.

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Source, universe.

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So trauma is not by any stretch of the imagination. It's not pleasant.

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It's an overwhelming

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experience,

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but trump the the event in and of itself,

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even the fact that it's overwhelming is not in and of itself

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a problem for the human being.

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The problem

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happens

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when we do not have the right support

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and resources

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to overcome

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the trauma so that it processes through our body. And we emerge

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on the other side

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feeling confident, more skilled,

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more like I can handle things in life.

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I'm not alone when difficult things happen.

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It it anchors in a feeling of, like, there are people and there are supports and resources around us that will meet us when we're in trouble,

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when we need help. So all of that gets stronger through the process of experiencing life challenges

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unless we don't

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have the support and resources that we need, that we are alone, we are abandoned,

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and that's when it gets stuck in the body.

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So the expression what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is only true.

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It's only true

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if

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what almost didn't kill you. When almost you know, the threat that was threatening your life,

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you had the resources that you need

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and the support that you needed

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to triumph over the trauma.

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So only if it's resolved

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do you become stronger. If it isn't resolved, we come we come progressively

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I don't know if the words are weaker,

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but more dysregulated,

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more prone to overwhelm, more prone to stress,

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more prone to feeling,

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alone and under resourced.

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So when does trauma resolve and when does it get stuck? So what's the what's the piece?

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So,

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the number one determining factor is whether or not we had a felt sense of support

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and we had access to both internal and external resources.

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So let me just think of an example.

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Let's say we are

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let's say we're we're running away from the proverbial tiger.

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No one's gonna run away from a tiger in their lifetime. Very rare people. Maybe in the Sahara.

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But for the most part, we're not but you the let's use that as a metaphorical example.

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So the we we we we send something, there's something in the bushes, there's a threat,

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we mobilize.

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If we don't have energy,

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if we have a broken leg,

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if our foot's trapped in something,

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if,

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there's no one else around to sort of maybe

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sort of run with us and sort of overwhelm the tiger or confuse it like what should it do,

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we're going to very quickly neurocept

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that we are on our own

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and we we lack the energy, we have a broken foot,

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you're going to be

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overwhelmed. Your body's gonna understand I can't run away. I can't fight the tiger.

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So that's the kind of cue that tells your body flip the switch.

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You're you're you're likely going to drop into the dorsal freeze response into a freeze response

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and that's called the trauma response. So the word overwhelm, the word trauma, the word

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freeze,

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collapse,

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shutdown,

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all the same thing. Trauma is a state, a neurological state of overwhelm.

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And what overwhelms your system

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is very different than what overwhelms anybody else's system. It's very bio individual.

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And your

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capacity,

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to your stress Florence, your stress capacity

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is very different depending on your internal resources and external resources and your sense of support.

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When you have

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low internal resources, low sense of external resources, like, if you had an inter external resource in the example of the tiger, let's say you had a gun,

256
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very different scenario all of a sudden. Right? You're like, okay. Let me use this.

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Let me shoot it in the air, try and spook it off. Let me try and shoot its

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foot or something like that to spook it off. All of a sudden, you have very different perception

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of how under threat you are when you have an external resource.

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So these are all the factors that go into what overwhelms the body. And when the body's overwhelmed,

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beyond it has lost hope that it can run away from, fight,

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defend itself,

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survive the threat. It will drop into the trauma response, it will drop into the freeze response.

264
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So successfully overcoming trauma means we were able to mobilize, to fight, flee,

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sometimes fawn.

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So fight would be using the gun, flee would be running away, fawning would be, is there some way that I can appease this person who's threatening?

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And it worked.

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It worked.

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We have a sense that we got away from the tiger, that we spook the tiger off with the gun.

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Maybe we climbed a tree, something. Someone came in and spooked it.

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Someone else yelled and it ran off. Whatever. There was a sense

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that we were able to over overcome this threat.

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And on the other side of that

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is where we

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experience more confidence.

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All of the activated

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hormones of stress have moved through the nervous system.

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It's done.

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It was a successful

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it was a successful experience.

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It's over,

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and our body returns back into a state of

283
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rest, digest, detox, repair,

284
00:16:15.100 --> 00:16:17.760
relaxation, all is well. I am safe,

285
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which is where we wanna be most of our most of the time, most of our days.

286
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So

287
00:16:25.900 --> 00:16:30.995
but if we couldn't act on our survival impulse to fight or flee or fawn

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sorry. If we could act on our survival impulse, the fight fight flight,

289
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and it led to safety, the nervous system is said to have completed its trauma cycle. It's over.

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It's cleared. It's done. We might remember it, but not with the same kind of tears.

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Like, oh, that time. Do you remember?

292
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But if we couldn't run or fight or we didn't have the support during or after the event, the trauma can become trapped in the body.

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The body doesn't know it survived. It's still hanging on to the sense of being under threat.

294
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It's still waiting to complete the cycle

295
00:17:10.265 --> 00:17:12.685
of running away from or defending itself.

296
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Support Kick can come from within our own nervous system capacity or from others,

297
00:17:19.349 --> 00:17:21.049
say people, places, or practices.

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00:17:21.990 --> 00:17:27.369
And without that support, the body can't return to safety and the trauma remains unresolved.

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It's and it gets stored

300
00:17:30.365 --> 00:17:34.865
as trapped energy. Some people might call it apart. It's fine to call it apart,

301
00:17:35.165 --> 00:17:40.125
but it is it does not resolve itself. It doesn't just time doesn't just make it resolve itself.

302
00:17:40.125 --> 00:17:42.225
Abstinence doesn't make it resolve itself.

303
00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:44.340
Prayer doesn't make it resolve itself.

304
00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:46.179
Those things can help,

305
00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:49.700
but it there's very specific trauma

306
00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:57.059
recovery work that we need to do to be able to support the body to survive this threat even if it happened thirty years ago.

307
00:17:58.225 --> 00:18:02.004
Even if it happened when we were three weeks old. We don't even have a memory

308
00:18:03.024 --> 00:18:09.524
of the traumatic event, the the thing that triggered us into this profound state of terror and overwhelm

309
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threat

310
00:18:10.625 --> 00:18:11.445
and collapse.

311
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Because some of us have things that are actually in our bodies as trauma that have been multigenerational, that have been passed down, that didn't even happen in our lifetime.

312
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So trauma requires a very, very specific

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process to support the body in moving through it.

314
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And if we don't know what we're doing, it can stay there,

315
00:18:32.525 --> 00:18:35.185
and it and and the fact that it can stay there

316
00:18:35.645 --> 00:18:36.465
very much

317
00:18:37.120 --> 00:18:38.740
can complicate addiction recovery

318
00:18:39.520 --> 00:18:44.899
and and food recovery, just generally speaking. So this is probably the most important thing

319
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:46.740
to really deeply understand

320
00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:48.580
in this presentation.

321
00:18:49.455 --> 00:18:52.515
Trauma is not what happens to us. It's not the event,

322
00:18:52.975 --> 00:18:54.355
horrible as they might be,

323
00:18:55.375 --> 00:18:59.235
but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathic witness.

324
00:18:59.934 --> 00:19:01.235
When we feel

325
00:19:01.615 --> 00:19:02.755
alone, unsupported,

326
00:19:04.290 --> 00:19:04.790
under

327
00:19:06.690 --> 00:19:08.470
resourced, that's when trauma happens.

328
00:19:09.090 --> 00:19:13.270
So in order to resolve trauma, we need to reverse engineer this.

329
00:19:13.410 --> 00:19:18.230
We need to bring an empathic witness. That's called self regulation if we do that for ourselves,

330
00:19:18.575 --> 00:19:19.635
and it's called coregulation

331
00:19:20.015 --> 00:19:22.195
if someone else is able to step in

332
00:19:22.895 --> 00:19:23.395
and

333
00:19:24.335 --> 00:19:26.515
be there with us while we we go back

334
00:19:27.535 --> 00:19:30.115
into those sensations that are stored in the body.

335
00:19:31.390 --> 00:19:34.210
Now I say this later in the presentation, but I'm actually gonna

336
00:19:34.590 --> 00:19:36.210
slip it in here right now.

337
00:19:36.670 --> 00:19:38.290
It's very common

338
00:19:38.670 --> 00:19:41.810
for us to believe that in order for us to heal trauma,

339
00:19:42.430 --> 00:19:46.774
we need to go back in time and talk about the traumatic event, the event that

340
00:19:47.634 --> 00:19:49.735
that's got stuck in our body,

341
00:19:50.355 --> 00:19:55.335
and that's the exact opposite of what we need to do to heal trauma. In fact, it's not helpful.

342
00:19:55.554 --> 00:20:00.720
In fact, going back and talking about the trauma, unless you're working with a a a professional therapist

343
00:20:01.260 --> 00:20:04.100
who knows what they're doing and can guide you through that in,

344
00:20:04.540 --> 00:20:05.280
you know,

345
00:20:06.860 --> 00:20:07.920
professional way,

346
00:20:08.860 --> 00:20:10.720
going back and remembering,

347
00:20:11.179 --> 00:20:12.160
talking about

348
00:20:13.525 --> 00:20:14.345
the past

349
00:20:14.885 --> 00:20:17.145
is only gonna retraumatize you.

350
00:20:17.684 --> 00:20:19.145
It doesn't heal you.

351
00:20:21.125 --> 00:20:26.105
What does heal you is learning how to become present to the body, dropping in, and being

352
00:20:26.645 --> 00:20:27.145
only

353
00:20:28.020 --> 00:20:31.240
totally aware of and connected to what's up now.

354
00:20:31.620 --> 00:20:35.300
We don't go back. We don't talk about the stories. We stay out of the the memories.

355
00:20:35.300 --> 00:20:38.420
We even stay out of the feelings. We just stay with the body.

356
00:20:38.420 --> 00:20:47.875
The body knows what the body knows what's gonna you know, what it the body the body will surface stuff when it's when it decides it's gonna surface it.

357
00:20:47.934 --> 00:20:51.715
It's all unconscious. It all happens at the autonomic nervous system level.

358
00:20:52.735 --> 00:20:53.615
It just happens.

359
00:20:53.615 --> 00:20:59.940
And what happens when we have food issues and and trauma issues is when we put the food down, our stuff comes up.

360
00:20:59.940 --> 00:21:01.960
And if we don't know what the hell to do with it,

361
00:21:02.420 --> 00:21:04.520
our trauma is gonna take us back to the food.

362
00:21:05.540 --> 00:21:09.080
But this restoration of an empathic witness is fundamentally

363
00:21:09.460 --> 00:21:11.320
what trauma recovery work is.

364
00:21:13.875 --> 00:21:20.855
Types of trauma, acute trauma, single distressing life threatening event, car accident, natural disaster, or or and assault.

365
00:21:21.475 --> 00:21:25.335
Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged exposure to distressing events,

366
00:21:25.715 --> 00:21:28.610
ongoing abuse, neglect, domestic violence, bullying,

367
00:21:29.230 --> 00:21:33.650
developmental trauma. This is the one that I think is most tied to relapse

368
00:21:34.430 --> 00:21:36.610
for men and women who struggle with food.

369
00:21:36.830 --> 00:21:40.125
Trauma that occurs during critical stages of childhood development.

370
00:21:40.125 --> 00:21:42.705
While our brains and our nervous systems are developing,

371
00:21:43.565 --> 00:21:45.105
we are experiencing

372
00:21:45.565 --> 00:21:46.065
overwhelming

373
00:21:46.605 --> 00:21:47.105
stress,

374
00:21:47.645 --> 00:21:49.885
and there isn't somebody there.

375
00:21:49.885 --> 00:21:54.785
There is no empathic witness to help us process it, and it gets stuck in our bodies.

376
00:21:54.980 --> 00:21:57.240
And our bodies, when we're really young,

377
00:21:58.100 --> 00:22:01.240
do not have the capacity to run away.

378
00:22:01.780 --> 00:22:06.500
At three years old, we're not just gonna go, that's it. I'm out of here. You guys are fucked.

379
00:22:06.500 --> 00:22:09.885
I'm at this bullshit. I'm gonna go to the neighbors and go get love there.

380
00:22:10.045 --> 00:22:13.025
I'm gonna like, it's not gonna happen. They know they can't run.

381
00:22:13.565 --> 00:22:14.945
They know they can't fight.

382
00:22:15.405 --> 00:22:19.505
They know they're profoundly dependent on their their immediate family.

383
00:22:19.725 --> 00:22:22.545
And if those people are traumatized and dysregulated

384
00:22:22.925 --> 00:22:23.425
and

385
00:22:24.820 --> 00:22:26.520
have their own addictions and issues,

386
00:22:27.300 --> 00:22:29.960
what are you gonna do? How do you handle

387
00:22:30.980 --> 00:22:33.160
high stress activation in the body?

388
00:22:33.940 --> 00:22:37.320
You're gonna dorsal freeze. You're gonna drop into the freeze response.

389
00:22:37.540 --> 00:22:40.120
And when you're a child, and that happens a lot,

390
00:22:40.715 --> 00:22:42.735
your body learns to bypass

391
00:22:43.355 --> 00:22:47.375
even attempting to turn to people for coregulation, for comfort, for soothing.

392
00:22:47.515 --> 00:22:49.855
Even if they're even there, your body

393
00:22:50.155 --> 00:22:50.655
develops

394
00:22:51.595 --> 00:22:52.575
to be more

395
00:22:53.035 --> 00:22:54.335
sensitive to stress

396
00:22:54.860 --> 00:23:00.080
and more easily prone to dropping into the trauma response. It's more easily traumatized.

397
00:23:01.980 --> 00:23:03.660
That's what's in play, I think.

398
00:23:03.660 --> 00:23:10.640
This is the piece that I think we need to understand and work with for people who chronically struggle with addictions and relapse in food

399
00:23:12.195 --> 00:23:13.975
and potentially weight loss too.

400
00:23:14.195 --> 00:23:18.375
So often so this developmental trauma means that we have unmet emotional needs.

401
00:23:18.675 --> 00:23:20.295
We have an attachment wound.

402
00:23:20.915 --> 00:23:23.495
We have emotional neglect and inconsistent caregiving.

403
00:23:24.070 --> 00:23:24.570
Intergenerational

404
00:23:25.190 --> 00:23:26.890
trauma is passed down through generations,

405
00:23:28.230 --> 00:23:31.930
which means that there's no conscious memory of it. It's just in your body.

406
00:23:33.590 --> 00:23:35.190
You know, children of

407
00:23:36.795 --> 00:23:37.455
and there's

408
00:23:38.075 --> 00:23:43.055
really good evidence of how many generations it goes down, but, like, I'm just thinking about the Dutch famine.

409
00:23:43.675 --> 00:23:48.495
I think oh, gosh. I think it was five generations that you could see the impact of that famine.

410
00:23:49.609 --> 00:23:51.450
Florence of holocaust survivors,

411
00:23:51.990 --> 00:23:52.490
racism.

412
00:23:53.990 --> 00:23:56.170
All of that get epigenetically

413
00:23:56.710 --> 00:23:58.330
passed down into offspring.

414
00:23:58.390 --> 00:24:05.815
They didn't maybe experience it themselves, but their nervous system's wired for the sense of threat that they can't even put their finger on.

415
00:24:06.995 --> 00:24:08.775
Also, what can happen within intergenerational

416
00:24:09.475 --> 00:24:14.535
trauma is that it's traumatized their parents and grandparents, and that's influenced their parenting.

417
00:24:14.995 --> 00:24:16.775
And that so it can be relational

418
00:24:17.315 --> 00:24:20.980
in nature as well. It It just gets passed down the line, which is true of all trauma.

419
00:24:21.120 --> 00:24:22.500
Trauma is almost always,

420
00:24:23.760 --> 00:24:24.980
almost always intergenerational.

421
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:31.940
Although there can be one off acute forms of trauma that can start in someone's life and potentially if that wasn't resolved,

422
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:36.295
could influence future generations starting there. But for most of us,

423
00:24:36.915 --> 00:24:37.415
multigenerational.

424
00:24:40.675 --> 00:24:43.095
Okay. There's a there's subgroups of trauma.

425
00:24:43.635 --> 00:24:47.815
Medical trauma is a new emerging one. There's religious trauma.

426
00:24:49.460 --> 00:24:54.200
Religious trauma is where there's puts a tremendous amount of fear in your body,

427
00:24:54.660 --> 00:24:58.680
and fear is trauma. Like, fear is what puts your body into

428
00:24:59.140 --> 00:25:01.240
fight or flight. And when that goes

429
00:25:01.620 --> 00:25:02.920
on for too long,

430
00:25:03.635 --> 00:25:07.075
it's a matter of time before you run out of steam. You run out of internal resources.

431
00:25:07.075 --> 00:25:07.955
You run out of energy.

432
00:25:07.955 --> 00:25:12.675
You run out of hope that you can get away from this chronic sense of fear, and you're gonna collapse.

433
00:25:12.675 --> 00:25:14.375
You're gonna collapse into the trauma response.

434
00:25:15.235 --> 00:25:17.575
Racial, cultural trauma, vicarious

435
00:25:17.955 --> 00:25:19.470
trauma, which is where you

436
00:25:19.950 --> 00:25:25.970
hear about or witness even on TV or you witness someone else being being abused or traumatized.

437
00:25:27.390 --> 00:25:29.169
So I mention these because

438
00:25:29.630 --> 00:25:32.210
mostly what I wanna talk about is

439
00:25:32.985 --> 00:25:34.125
developmental trauma.

440
00:25:34.345 --> 00:25:38.585
So I it's not so when I talk about trauma, I'm mostly not talking about acute trauma.

441
00:25:38.585 --> 00:25:42.045
I'm talking about a nervous system that's been wired

442
00:25:42.745 --> 00:25:45.325
to be more easily stressed and more quickly overwhelmed

443
00:25:46.130 --> 00:25:49.510
because I think that's what's in play for those of us with chronic relapse patterns.

444
00:25:53.410 --> 00:25:56.070
Oh, and you know what's so interesting? Medical trauma.

445
00:25:57.090 --> 00:25:59.595
If, let's say, you have a difficult birth, Kick

446
00:26:00.955 --> 00:26:01.455
you're

447
00:26:01.835 --> 00:26:04.335
taken from your mother and you're put in an incubator,

448
00:26:05.275 --> 00:26:08.655
there can be a medical a form of medical trauma there.

449
00:26:08.875 --> 00:26:11.595
Your body has no comfort, no mother, no breath.

450
00:26:11.595 --> 00:26:17.310
I mean, you just got ripped away from the your mother's body, which really for the first two years of life should be

451
00:26:18.090 --> 00:26:19.390
always within proximity.

452
00:26:20.010 --> 00:26:22.990
That's a pretty high bar, I know, but that's what they say. Within

453
00:26:23.450 --> 00:26:31.165
that you could cry out, you can see her, you can sense her, you're close to her body, maybe you're tied to her body, you're sleeping with her, you're nursing throughout the day and night.

454
00:26:31.225 --> 00:26:35.645
Maybe not the night. That that was hard on me, but it's a reality some children do.

455
00:26:36.025 --> 00:26:41.485
And that's normal and natural, and that helps your nervous system to develop in a way that's not traumatized,

456
00:26:41.945 --> 00:26:42.925
that's not dysregulated.

457
00:26:43.865 --> 00:26:44.365
But

458
00:26:44.800 --> 00:26:50.260
medical trauma is is the way children are birthed, it is set up so many of us

459
00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:52.500
for a level of sensitivity

460
00:26:52.800 --> 00:26:58.080
that wouldn't have been there if we were born at home in natural circumstances right onto the mother's breast.

461
00:26:58.080 --> 00:27:02.665
And the mother is cocooned, and she just has this window of time to just

462
00:27:03.125 --> 00:27:06.345
bond and attach and to flow so much oxytocin

463
00:27:07.045 --> 00:27:09.465
back and forth with that baby that the the

464
00:27:10.085 --> 00:27:13.065
the the nervous system is wired up from the get go.

465
00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:14.220
And when

466
00:27:16.519 --> 00:27:17.019
within

467
00:27:17.559 --> 00:27:18.059
minutes,

468
00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:20.779
within minutes of of birth,

469
00:27:21.639 --> 00:27:25.500
a baby will will often very instinctively begin to nurse.

470
00:27:25.955 --> 00:27:29.975
So from the very first minutes of life, moments of life,

471
00:27:30.435 --> 00:27:32.055
our body couples up

472
00:27:33.155 --> 00:27:34.455
nursing, food, touch,

473
00:27:34.835 --> 00:27:35.895
love, safety.

474
00:27:36.995 --> 00:27:42.010
So food is different than other addictions for lots of reasons, but this is definitely one of them.

475
00:27:42.010 --> 00:27:45.710
That that coupling up of food with love, comfort, safety,

476
00:27:47.050 --> 00:27:49.870
over time, for those of us with food addiction,

477
00:27:50.250 --> 00:27:54.510
we have still got the food coupled up with love safety, but we've just taken

478
00:27:54.825 --> 00:27:59.965
the person out of it. It is no longer coupled up in the same Kick of way with

479
00:28:00.345 --> 00:28:03.065
safety with another human being. We just feel safe with food.

480
00:28:03.065 --> 00:28:05.005
That isn't always true, but generally speaking.

481
00:28:05.465 --> 00:28:06.684
Okay. So

482
00:28:07.600 --> 00:28:13.139
developmental trauma refers to the chronic disruption of safety, connection, and attunement during early childhood,

483
00:28:14.080 --> 00:28:14.580
specifically

484
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:18.899
with the mother, but also with other extended members of the family.

485
00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:21.860
This affects the development of our brains and our nervous system.

486
00:28:22.135 --> 00:28:24.635
And so from a somatic trauma healing perspective,

487
00:28:25.414 --> 00:28:27.755
developmental trauma is not about what happened.

488
00:28:27.975 --> 00:28:29.975
You might say, well, I didn't really have that much trauma.

489
00:28:29.975 --> 00:28:33.515
I mean, there were some things, but it wasn't really traumatic. It might have been traumatic,

490
00:28:33.895 --> 00:28:35.434
but it may not have been traumatic.

491
00:28:36.054 --> 00:28:39.060
So it wasn't so much about what happened. It's about what didn't happen.

492
00:28:39.060 --> 00:28:41.880
We didn't feel seen, soothed, saved, and supported consistently

493
00:28:42.980 --> 00:28:43.800
or sufficiently

494
00:28:44.100 --> 00:28:47.460
because I'm sure there were times, but it just wasn't enough.

495
00:28:47.460 --> 00:28:51.780
There were times when you were left, when you are flowing the hormones of stress, something has activated.

496
00:28:51.780 --> 00:28:56.875
You've spooked you, stressed you out. And when we're babies, we cannot self soothe.

497
00:28:56.875 --> 00:28:58.975
It's absolutely not even possible.

498
00:28:59.355 --> 00:29:03.935
We have to be soothed by another human being. And if that another human being is not there

499
00:29:05.230 --> 00:29:07.570
is not there, then we will find

500
00:29:08.190 --> 00:29:10.130
a way to either self soothe,

501
00:29:11.470 --> 00:29:14.929
later on in life with something that we can find externally, like food,

502
00:29:16.429 --> 00:29:17.169
self stimulation,

503
00:29:17.549 --> 00:29:19.570
whatever it is, TV, whatever whatever.

504
00:29:20.895 --> 00:29:25.315
Before we find those and know that they're reliable and we can lean on them,

505
00:29:25.775 --> 00:29:27.795
we're going to go into dorsal freeze.

506
00:29:28.335 --> 00:29:30.355
So the extent to which we're being stressed

507
00:29:32.175 --> 00:29:37.990
and not being met and supported, coregulated is the extent to which we will drop into freeze in the early years of life.

508
00:29:38.450 --> 00:29:46.070
Our nervous system, when that happens, doesn't learn how to coregulate, how to truly turn to people and feel attached and comfort from them,

509
00:29:46.530 --> 00:29:49.670
or to self regulate because those are learned. And the

510
00:29:50.995 --> 00:29:55.475
the vagus nerve has two parts, the ventral, the front part, and the dorsal, the back part.

511
00:29:55.475 --> 00:30:02.970
The ventral is a new part of the mammalian nervous system, newer, 300 millions years newer, like, not new new, but new.

512
00:30:03.130 --> 00:30:06.830
Newer than the dorsal. The dorsal is ancient. Dorsal is what every

513
00:30:08.090 --> 00:30:13.630
every animal has the capacity to drop into the dorsal freeze response in response to threat. But the

514
00:30:14.010 --> 00:30:15.710
co rate regulation capacity,

515
00:30:16.345 --> 00:30:21.405
the capacity to turn to other people for comfort, that's a mammalian feature of our nervous system.

516
00:30:21.625 --> 00:30:25.245
It is our primary way that we're supposed to be

517
00:30:26.425 --> 00:30:28.285
moving through stress and activation,

518
00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:33.799
and it is the part of our nervous system that only develops after birth.

519
00:30:33.940 --> 00:30:38.280
So the first fifteen years of life, first five to seven really intensely,

520
00:30:38.900 --> 00:30:39.960
that gets developed.

521
00:30:40.340 --> 00:30:41.640
And if we're not coregulating,

522
00:30:42.635 --> 00:30:45.535
that doesn't develop. We develop a totally different nervous system.

523
00:30:45.995 --> 00:30:47.375
And then if we don't coregulate,

524
00:30:47.675 --> 00:30:51.295
because it's through the process of learning how to coregulate that we learn how to self regulate.

525
00:30:51.835 --> 00:30:54.895
So if that isn't learned, anchored into the body,

526
00:30:55.275 --> 00:30:57.135
built into the nervous system,

527
00:30:58.150 --> 00:30:59.850
you will have developmental trauma.

528
00:31:00.470 --> 00:31:01.910
And this means that we,

529
00:31:04.390 --> 00:31:07.050
we we have a pattern of being stressed, stressed, stressed,

530
00:31:07.670 --> 00:31:13.530
collapsing, stress, stress, stress, collapsing, or we have a pattern of being stuck into stress or stuck into collapse.

531
00:31:15.245 --> 00:31:19.405
We have anxiety, fears, and distress without a clear memory of a traumatic event.

532
00:31:19.405 --> 00:31:21.985
It's just like this pervasive feeling of anxiety

533
00:31:22.285 --> 00:31:24.145
or feeling overwhelmed or feeling

534
00:31:24.605 --> 00:31:28.544
alone or lost or scared, and it's very unconscious, and it's our normal.

535
00:31:29.450 --> 00:31:32.570
This is our normal. We don't even know we're like a fish in water.

536
00:31:32.570 --> 00:31:34.910
We we we just this is how we developed.

537
00:31:35.690 --> 00:31:40.830
We we kinda maybe have a sense as life goes on that, you know, something's not right.

538
00:31:41.690 --> 00:31:42.190
But

539
00:31:43.485 --> 00:31:47.025
we didn't always have a term for it. We do now. It's called developmental trauma.

540
00:31:47.805 --> 00:31:51.665
So it is the absence of secure it's an insecure attachment.

541
00:31:51.965 --> 00:31:54.305
It shows up in the body as chronic dysregulation,

542
00:31:55.005 --> 00:31:59.289
and it shows up as stress, health issues, addiction, money, relationship issues, and more.

543
00:31:59.350 --> 00:32:04.970
So the ACE study, the adverse childhood experiences study that showed that children who had adverse experiences

544
00:32:05.590 --> 00:32:10.169
were more likely to develop addictions, health issues, relationship issues, money issues, etcetera,

545
00:32:11.590 --> 00:32:13.370
developmental trauma was in play.

546
00:32:15.595 --> 00:32:16.335
So here's

547
00:32:16.635 --> 00:32:17.375
a quiz.

548
00:32:18.075 --> 00:32:21.775
Just some questions that might help you kinda get a sense of whether or not you

549
00:32:22.715 --> 00:32:26.415
fall on the spectrum, the developmental trauma spectrum, and it is a spectrum.

550
00:32:28.980 --> 00:32:32.920
Do you often feel overwhelmed by stress or emotions even when nothing major is happening?

551
00:32:33.460 --> 00:32:36.040
Do you have trouble calming down once you're upset or anxious?

552
00:32:36.980 --> 00:32:42.654
Do you did you grow up in an environment where your emotional needs were ignored, minimized, or misunderstood, or just not met?

553
00:32:42.794 --> 00:32:46.654
Do you struggle with people pleasing perfectionism or fear of rejection or abandonment?

554
00:32:47.434 --> 00:32:51.615
Do you often feel disconnected from your body, numb numb or checked out?

555
00:32:51.835 --> 00:32:56.414
Do you have trouble trusting others or asking for help what even when you really need support?

556
00:32:56.950 --> 00:33:01.130
Do you feel emotionally unsafe or unloved in childhood even if your physical needs were met?

557
00:33:01.910 --> 00:33:02.890
This is huge.

558
00:33:05.910 --> 00:33:07.930
And, also, there's oh, yeah.

559
00:33:08.644 --> 00:33:10.725
I'll I'll save it. There's another slide on this. Yeah.

560
00:33:10.725 --> 00:33:14.664
There's this whole piece of even if you were loved, even if your parents were

561
00:33:16.085 --> 00:33:17.384
good enough parents,

562
00:33:17.924 --> 00:33:22.504
if you're in a dorsal freeze response, let's say you're coming out of a medical trauma as a child

563
00:33:23.100 --> 00:33:25.520
and your nervous system is dropped into freeze,

564
00:33:26.059 --> 00:33:26.880
and and

565
00:33:27.300 --> 00:33:27.800
you

566
00:33:28.380 --> 00:33:31.040
they're they don't know how to work with it really. Like,

567
00:33:32.860 --> 00:33:33.360
you

568
00:33:33.660 --> 00:33:40.645
may not be able to bond with your good enough parents because you're in the freeze response, and you can't bond and socially connect when you're in the freeze response.

569
00:33:42.545 --> 00:33:47.265
Other potential clues that you are on the developmental trauma spectrum or just on the trauma spectrum.

570
00:33:47.265 --> 00:33:48.804
It doesn't just have to be developmental.

571
00:33:49.424 --> 00:33:53.500
You You keep trying to move forward, but life feels stuck or stalled despite your best efforts.

572
00:33:53.800 --> 00:33:57.820
You live a conscious healthy lifestyle, but still feel tired, depleted, or low in energy.

573
00:33:58.440 --> 00:34:01.340
You feel anxious, restless, or disconnected from your body.

574
00:34:01.785 --> 00:34:07.325
You tend to enter unhealthy relationships or seek love by being overly nice, or you abandon yourself, codependency.

575
00:34:07.785 --> 00:34:11.324
You're out of touch with your own needs and struggle to identify what you truly want.

576
00:34:11.705 --> 00:34:13.324
You've tried many therapies,

577
00:34:13.625 --> 00:34:15.165
healing approaches, and modalities,

578
00:34:15.909 --> 00:34:16.810
but the same

579
00:34:17.110 --> 00:34:20.489
problems keep emerging. You still feel stuck, the same symptoms.

580
00:34:21.190 --> 00:34:22.090
You're like, wow.

581
00:34:22.870 --> 00:34:27.284
You tend to struggle repeatedly or chronically with fear, lack, or instability in

582
00:34:30.405 --> 00:34:30.905
relationships.

583
00:34:31.444 --> 00:34:34.184
And there's a sense of scarcity. There's a sense of

584
00:34:34.565 --> 00:34:35.065
lack

585
00:34:35.525 --> 00:34:36.505
that's chronic.

586
00:34:37.444 --> 00:34:43.369
And even when there isn't lack so for example, you hear of billionaires that are terrified of losing all their money.

587
00:34:44.069 --> 00:34:49.130
Something's going on. Right? There there's there's suggestions of trauma in play there.

588
00:34:50.949 --> 00:34:54.089
So what causes trauma? We've talked about abuse, neglect, abandonment,

589
00:34:55.205 --> 00:34:56.025
growing up in a household with

590
00:34:56.324 --> 00:34:57.945
addiction, violence, mental illness.

591
00:34:58.725 --> 00:35:01.685
Parents are overwhelmed and stressed. They're running the hormones of stress.

592
00:35:01.685 --> 00:35:05.145
When you're running the hormones of stress, it's not possible to socially connect.

593
00:35:06.725 --> 00:35:08.425
Shaming, criticism, chronic

594
00:35:08.859 --> 00:35:11.760
disapproval. How many of us have literally experienced,

595
00:35:15.020 --> 00:35:16.480
from our families,

596
00:35:16.940 --> 00:35:26.214
from the media, from our cultures around our bodies, and we're not thin enough, and we're not good enough, and how deeply that can get internalized and how deeply that can keep

597
00:35:26.595 --> 00:35:27.095
flowing

598
00:35:27.954 --> 00:35:29.654
a trauma a trauma pattern.

599
00:35:30.595 --> 00:35:33.494
No no empathic witness to coregulate with.

600
00:35:34.450 --> 00:35:39.090
And, of course, I mean, this is more specific to developmental, but there could be wars.

601
00:35:39.090 --> 00:35:42.530
There could be violence. There could be car accidents. There could be medical traumas.

602
00:35:42.530 --> 00:35:44.070
There could be racism.

603
00:35:44.130 --> 00:35:51.275
I mean, this is I'm sort of speaking a little bit more developmental trauma here specific to the relational trauma that happens when there isn't

604
00:35:52.455 --> 00:35:52.955
consistent,

605
00:35:53.735 --> 00:35:54.955
loving presence

606
00:35:55.895 --> 00:35:58.715
there that can help our body settle when we are distressed.

607
00:36:01.270 --> 00:36:01.510
K.

608
00:36:01.510 --> 00:36:07.210
So let's get into the autonomic nervous system because this is this is the piece that it's all about.

609
00:36:07.430 --> 00:36:10.650
There's two branches of the autonomic nervous system. The word autonomic

610
00:36:11.110 --> 00:36:13.130
suggests it's automatic. It's unconscious.

611
00:36:13.270 --> 00:36:17.365
We don't have conscious control over this to for the most part. So there's two branches.

612
00:36:17.365 --> 00:36:19.224
There's the sympathetic nervous system

613
00:36:20.085 --> 00:36:21.144
and there's the parasympathetic.

614
00:36:21.765 --> 00:36:27.065
The sympathetic nervous system is where we flow energy and we mobilize into action, movement.

615
00:36:27.684 --> 00:36:29.960
It helps us get stuff done,

616
00:36:31.860 --> 00:36:36.360
meet challenges and threats. So the s for sympathetic stands for stress

617
00:36:36.740 --> 00:36:40.280
or speed. We move into we make we we we activate.

618
00:36:40.580 --> 00:36:41.320
We mobilize.

619
00:36:41.940 --> 00:36:44.935
So s stands for stress. It's the stress state.

620
00:36:45.875 --> 00:36:46.375
Parasympathetic

621
00:36:47.635 --> 00:36:49.015
stands for peace.

622
00:36:50.915 --> 00:36:51.415
Pause.

623
00:36:53.715 --> 00:36:57.175
It's what brings us back into a state of calm, rest, presence.

624
00:36:58.040 --> 00:37:00.780
It acts as a breaking system to keep our parasympathetic

625
00:37:01.080 --> 00:37:03.180
nervous system from becoming overstimulated,

626
00:37:03.560 --> 00:37:06.859
which is extremely difficult on the body, life threatening actually,

627
00:37:07.160 --> 00:37:07.900
and overactivated.

628
00:37:08.520 --> 00:37:13.355
So we might get or start getting all worked up, and the parasympathetic comes in and sort of goes, okay.

629
00:37:13.355 --> 00:37:14.735
Please. Just take a pause.

630
00:37:16.235 --> 00:37:18.655
Okay. Let's have a look at this. What do we need to do?

631
00:37:18.715 --> 00:37:22.815
So they're always working together, and we need of course, we need them both. The parasympathetic

632
00:37:23.195 --> 00:37:25.455
system acts like brakes on a car.

633
00:37:26.060 --> 00:37:26.960
It slows us

634
00:37:28.220 --> 00:37:28.720
down.

635
00:37:29.980 --> 00:37:30.480
So

636
00:37:31.100 --> 00:37:32.720
there's two types of stress.

637
00:37:33.820 --> 00:37:42.275
There's the eustress, otherwise known as positive stress, and this is healthy and activating stress that helps us take action towards the desired outcome.

638
00:37:42.575 --> 00:37:44.675
And we feel energized, but not overwhelmed.

639
00:37:45.055 --> 00:37:48.655
And we have the internal resources to handle it. We have the energy. We have the resources.

640
00:37:48.655 --> 00:37:52.575
Maybe we have the support. We just feel like, oh, I can handle that. The task feels doable.

641
00:37:52.575 --> 00:37:55.320
We have the time. We have the energy. We have the support we need.

642
00:37:55.480 --> 00:37:59.500
This kind of stress happens within our window of capacity, our window of tolerance.

643
00:38:00.120 --> 00:38:03.260
The concept of window of tolerance is related to the idea

644
00:38:03.720 --> 00:38:04.860
of how much activation

645
00:38:05.160 --> 00:38:06.220
can we tolerate

646
00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:10.904
before it becomes the second kind of stress, a distressing kind of stress?

647
00:38:10.904 --> 00:38:14.924
Not the positive stress, the overwhelming kind of stress, potentially overwhelming kind of stress.

648
00:38:15.385 --> 00:38:15.885
So,

649
00:38:16.825 --> 00:38:22.285
how much of this activation can we tolerate before we start to feel like, woah. This is a bit much.

650
00:38:24.660 --> 00:38:29.060
Afterwards, after positive stress, we take our action, and we're like, oh, the dog's barking.

651
00:38:29.060 --> 00:38:33.619
I better go let the dog in. Right? So we just go. We mobilize. We let the dog in. All good.

652
00:38:33.619 --> 00:38:34.839
It's within our capacity.

653
00:38:35.220 --> 00:38:43.735
But if it's like, oh, I'm exhausted, and I've got four things going on, and the phone's ringing, the damn dog's barking, all of a sudden it feels like that's you've moved out of your window of capacity.

654
00:38:43.795 --> 00:38:44.375
It feels

655
00:38:44.675 --> 00:38:45.255
too much.

656
00:38:46.515 --> 00:38:50.135
You're gonna be moving into the distress Kick of stress around that.

657
00:38:50.755 --> 00:38:51.255
Afterwards,

658
00:38:51.930 --> 00:38:52.670
let's say,

659
00:38:53.210 --> 00:38:56.670
it's no big deal. The dog's barking. We go open the door. We let the dog in.

660
00:38:57.210 --> 00:38:58.670
After that, the parasympathetic

661
00:38:59.130 --> 00:38:59.790
comes in,

662
00:39:00.730 --> 00:39:04.589
clears that activation, those chemicals of activation, the stress hormones,

663
00:39:05.210 --> 00:39:06.650
and we just come back to common

664
00:39:07.265 --> 00:39:08.965
to a nice state of calm, presence,

665
00:39:09.745 --> 00:39:10.245
awareness,

666
00:39:10.625 --> 00:39:13.525
like, oh, right, where where we're supposed to be most of the time.

667
00:39:13.985 --> 00:39:15.745
Distress is overwhelming stress.

668
00:39:15.745 --> 00:39:19.505
This occur occurs when we leave our window of tolerance or capacity.

669
00:39:19.505 --> 00:39:27.190
It feels like it's more than we have the energy for or the resources for, and the situation begins to feel unmanageable or stress is unsafe.

670
00:39:27.970 --> 00:39:32.150
And this is where the body begins to release a bit of adrenaline. Maybe a lot,

671
00:39:32.450 --> 00:39:34.230
maybe a little, somewhere on the spectrum.

672
00:39:34.370 --> 00:39:38.704
And if you'd originally at first, it's adrenaline, and if over it needs more than that.

673
00:39:38.704 --> 00:39:42.645
Adrenaline's very fast acting. And if we need more, then it'll start flowing cortisol.

674
00:39:43.105 --> 00:39:47.285
And that gives us that little extra bit of energy, that little extra bit of push to go and

675
00:39:47.630 --> 00:39:49.250
do the thing, take the action.

676
00:39:49.790 --> 00:39:52.210
The stress response is meant to be temporary.

677
00:39:53.310 --> 00:39:54.850
Temporary. Can you believe it?

678
00:39:55.310 --> 00:39:57.730
Most of us are living stress all day long.

679
00:39:58.830 --> 00:40:01.250
Activated on and off, on and off all the time,

680
00:40:02.275 --> 00:40:03.475
but it's not meant to be like that.

681
00:40:03.475 --> 00:40:10.994
We're supposed to be within this lovely wide window of capacity that almost most of the stuff that happens in our day, we we can stay within our capacity.

682
00:40:10.994 --> 00:40:14.435
I can do that. I can handle that. I can do this. I have the energy for this. I can get that done.

683
00:40:14.435 --> 00:40:18.310
Oh, what a great day. Oh, it's lunch. Not lovely. Like, that's, for the most

684
00:40:18.690 --> 00:40:20.850
part, you know, how our day is supposed to go.

685
00:40:20.850 --> 00:40:25.110
But there will be some moments in the day where we're like, oh, put a little adrenaline into play,

686
00:40:25.650 --> 00:40:28.630
and it gives us that little push, but it's meant to be temporary,

687
00:40:29.490 --> 00:40:34.075
not stuck on, which is what happens in developmental trauma or a traumatized nervous system.

688
00:40:34.775 --> 00:40:36.555
And when it's constantly on,

689
00:40:37.175 --> 00:40:38.875
that's what causes dysregulation.

690
00:40:39.735 --> 00:40:45.195
And, eventually, when that happens for it was too much for too long or or or it's too much for too fast,

691
00:40:48.030 --> 00:40:53.330
then we it's just a matter of time, of course, before we drop into the trauma response, and we become

692
00:40:53.790 --> 00:40:54.850
we become traumatized.

693
00:40:55.470 --> 00:41:02.475
And I don't say that lightly because it seems really disrespectful to some someone who's went through war or an assault or something horrible,

694
00:41:03.095 --> 00:41:03.595
hurricane,

695
00:41:04.215 --> 00:41:05.835
to say, you know, my shoelace

696
00:41:06.775 --> 00:41:09.115
traumatized me. But if you understand

697
00:41:09.815 --> 00:41:10.315
trauma,

698
00:41:11.175 --> 00:41:11.915
you understand

699
00:41:12.375 --> 00:41:13.515
it's not the event.

700
00:41:14.055 --> 00:41:14.715
It's what

701
00:41:15.520 --> 00:41:17.060
your body can handle

702
00:41:17.440 --> 00:41:21.680
in terms of the activation in the system before it drops into the trauma response.

703
00:41:21.680 --> 00:41:24.660
And the trauma response is like a little it's like a switch.

704
00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:26.660
It's like the breaker in your basement.

705
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:30.340
When there's too much electricity flowing through, you got no choice.

706
00:41:30.425 --> 00:41:34.525
That breaker is flipped, and you're gonna have to go down with your flashlight and flip it back on.

707
00:41:34.744 --> 00:41:37.724
And flipping it back on is what we want to do,

708
00:41:38.345 --> 00:41:39.085
but it's

709
00:41:39.385 --> 00:41:42.425
what doesn't happen in traditional addiction recovery programs.

710
00:41:42.425 --> 00:41:46.930
They don't they don't quite know exactly how to work with that, and that's what I'm gonna talk about today.

711
00:41:48.589 --> 00:41:51.890
So two branches of parasympathetic. I just wanna go back to this.

712
00:41:53.309 --> 00:41:54.450
So oh, sorry. Sorry.

713
00:41:55.309 --> 00:41:56.770
I said there was the sympathetic

714
00:41:57.309 --> 00:41:58.290
nervous system.

715
00:41:59.815 --> 00:42:01.915
Yeah. And then there's the the parasympathetic,

716
00:42:02.375 --> 00:42:04.475
and they play. They dance.

717
00:42:05.335 --> 00:42:07.115
We get a little activated. Parasympathetic

718
00:42:07.655 --> 00:42:08.555
brings us back.

719
00:42:08.695 --> 00:42:13.995
So the the the ratio I've heard is seventy five to 80% of the day we should be in the parasympathetic,

720
00:42:15.330 --> 00:42:17.590
but, you know, 25% of the day

721
00:42:19.810 --> 00:42:20.470
in activation.

722
00:42:21.090 --> 00:42:24.390
Hopefully, most of that activation within our window of capacity.

723
00:42:25.410 --> 00:42:26.470
So the parasympathetic,

724
00:42:27.455 --> 00:42:34.115
that braking system that keeps the sympathetic system from getting ourselves too stressed for too long, too often,

725
00:42:34.575 --> 00:42:35.795
has two brakes.

726
00:42:35.855 --> 00:42:42.930
Just like a car, there's the brake that you tap your foot on just to slow us down, keep you know, we can kinda keep going, but it brings it like

727
00:42:44.210 --> 00:42:48.710
gives us a little pause or slows us down to keep us from going too fast or getting out of control.

728
00:42:49.329 --> 00:42:49.829
That

729
00:42:50.450 --> 00:42:53.270
break is known as coregulation and self regulation.

730
00:42:54.050 --> 00:42:55.910
That's our social engagement system,

731
00:42:56.605 --> 00:43:00.065
and it returns us to calm by connecting to ourselves or others.

732
00:43:00.285 --> 00:43:02.685
So, obviously, we don't coregulate all day long.

733
00:43:02.685 --> 00:43:05.885
But when something big comes and we're like, I'm really upset.

734
00:43:05.885 --> 00:43:08.305
I'm gonna go call my husband or my friend or something,

735
00:43:09.325 --> 00:43:10.065
that's coregulation.

736
00:43:10.525 --> 00:43:11.825
But throughout the day,

737
00:43:12.390 --> 00:43:18.010
we should be wired up to perfectly know how to self regulate through lots of the things that's kinda

738
00:43:18.470 --> 00:43:22.490
activate us throughout the day. Like, oh, that was a bit triggering. That wasn't a great phone call.

739
00:43:22.630 --> 00:43:23.930
And you just immediately

740
00:43:24.230 --> 00:43:25.369
move into a coregulation

741
00:43:25.750 --> 00:43:26.250
process

742
00:43:26.744 --> 00:43:30.345
where you feel that, oh, that was uncomfortable. That felt a bit off, didn't it?

743
00:43:30.345 --> 00:43:33.484
And you're able to hold you're the empathic witness to yourself.

744
00:43:33.785 --> 00:43:36.924
And you can feel those feelings and you hold space for it.

745
00:43:36.984 --> 00:43:43.339
And when the empathic witness comes in, that presence, that sense of safety and support that that comes from our own presence,

746
00:43:43.799 --> 00:43:44.539
the body

747
00:43:45.240 --> 00:43:46.299
feels it,

748
00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:47.660
and it

749
00:43:47.960 --> 00:43:53.303
clears it. Or it might say, hey. I need you to go pick up the phone and call her Kick.

750
00:43:53.720 --> 00:43:54.220
Or,

751
00:43:54.954 --> 00:43:57.035
hey. Let's go for a walk or something.

752
00:43:57.035 --> 00:44:03.055
It might suggest something it needs to support the body to clear it so that it gets resolved,

753
00:44:03.835 --> 00:44:06.174
so that it doesn't just get trapped in there.

754
00:44:07.160 --> 00:44:10.460
Coregulation and self regulation are the only

755
00:44:11.400 --> 00:44:11.900
way

756
00:44:12.600 --> 00:44:13.260
to resolve

757
00:44:14.520 --> 00:44:15.020
trauma

758
00:44:15.560 --> 00:44:16.540
in the body.

759
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:18.860
There is no other way.

760
00:44:19.685 --> 00:44:20.985
Nothing else works.

761
00:44:23.925 --> 00:44:24.985
Nothing else works.

762
00:44:26.005 --> 00:44:26.505
So

763
00:44:27.285 --> 00:44:28.185
but, ideally,

764
00:44:28.565 --> 00:44:32.825
we learn how to we we are beautifully, sufficiently coregulated as children.

765
00:44:33.740 --> 00:44:40.319
When we're around 15, 16 ish, you know, we take over where our parents leave off when we learn how to self regulate.

766
00:44:40.859 --> 00:44:44.000
And it brings us back to a feeling of safety, of being grounded,

767
00:44:44.539 --> 00:44:45.680
internally supported,

768
00:44:45.980 --> 00:44:48.914
and maybe we reached outside for some extra coregulation

769
00:44:49.214 --> 00:44:51.234
support. Maybe we did that too. Beautiful.

770
00:44:52.015 --> 00:44:53.954
But it says to the body.

771
00:44:54.255 --> 00:44:57.555
And when we learn how to coregulate and self regulate in childhood,

772
00:44:58.095 --> 00:44:59.394
when there's a distressing

773
00:44:59.934 --> 00:45:00.434
experience,

774
00:45:01.535 --> 00:45:03.154
our body so we're stressed,

775
00:45:04.470 --> 00:45:07.210
the and the body reaches out for coregulation

776
00:45:08.390 --> 00:45:09.530
and we get it,

777
00:45:10.310 --> 00:45:15.609
our our entire nervous system is wired to believe, but this becomes a core belief.

778
00:45:15.830 --> 00:45:18.250
It becomes our paradigm, our world paradigm,

779
00:45:18.635 --> 00:45:21.934
that when I'm stressed that something bad happens, I'm triggered,

780
00:45:22.395 --> 00:45:23.214
I'm upset,

781
00:45:24.155 --> 00:45:25.135
I'm hurt.

782
00:45:27.115 --> 00:45:29.295
I will be able to turn to somebody

783
00:45:29.595 --> 00:45:30.415
for help,

784
00:45:32.049 --> 00:45:34.230
and that will help me to process it.

785
00:45:34.690 --> 00:45:37.670
That will help me to feel safe and supported and resourced,

786
00:45:38.289 --> 00:45:42.549
and I'll be able to resolve this. And I can return home to a felt sense of safety,

787
00:45:42.930 --> 00:45:44.230
and I will feel

788
00:45:45.010 --> 00:45:46.390
good again and safe

789
00:45:47.085 --> 00:45:48.385
and loved and supported.

790
00:45:49.165 --> 00:45:50.385
And so stress

791
00:45:52.125 --> 00:45:53.425
is met with support,

792
00:45:55.244 --> 00:45:56.625
and it resolves itself.

793
00:45:57.405 --> 00:46:01.280
So stress comes up. Your body goes, oh, I know what happens now.

794
00:46:01.580 --> 00:46:04.880
We'll either self regulate or coregulate, and then we're gonna feel better,

795
00:46:05.260 --> 00:46:06.800
and it's gonna work out great.

796
00:46:07.100 --> 00:46:08.300
Everything's just gonna work out great.

797
00:46:08.300 --> 00:46:11.520
It's I might take a little time and it might suck in the meantime, but I know.

798
00:46:12.060 --> 00:46:13.180
I know I know what

799
00:46:13.905 --> 00:46:16.485
I know that when there's stress, there's resolution,

800
00:46:17.105 --> 00:46:19.285
and that resolution strengthens relationship.

801
00:46:19.825 --> 00:46:20.325
It

802
00:46:20.625 --> 00:46:22.005
it strengthens our capacity,

803
00:46:23.665 --> 00:46:27.045
our window of capacity because we feel like, oh, I overcame that.

804
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:30.900
We're more confident. We're more skilled. We feel like we're more

805
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:33.220
able to meet life. Right?

806
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:39.060
Beautiful. But that's not what happens in a in a traumatized nervous system.

807
00:46:39.680 --> 00:46:40.420
What happens,

808
00:46:40.720 --> 00:46:42.580
stress, nobody's there.

809
00:46:44.474 --> 00:46:48.075
I'm gonna just feel I'm just gonna feel worse. I'm gonna struggle. I'm gonna feel alone.

810
00:46:48.075 --> 00:46:51.535
It's gonna be awful. I better go fucking find something to make me feel better fast

811
00:46:52.075 --> 00:46:56.575
because this just escalates. Because the only thing that deescalates it truly

812
00:46:58.690 --> 00:47:01.910
is coregulation to self regulation. If we didn't learn how to do that,

813
00:47:04.130 --> 00:47:04.870
we better.

814
00:47:05.490 --> 00:47:06.310
We better.

815
00:47:06.850 --> 00:47:09.430
So a healthy ventral break, it's called the ventral

816
00:47:10.690 --> 00:47:11.190
ventral

817
00:47:12.744 --> 00:47:13.244
vagus

818
00:47:14.025 --> 00:47:16.925
part of the nerve system. So those nerves are myelinated.

819
00:47:17.545 --> 00:47:21.565
Those nerves are the ones that send cues and messages of safety.

820
00:47:22.025 --> 00:47:24.125
Those are the ones that can help

821
00:47:24.744 --> 00:47:26.045
bring in this gentle

822
00:47:26.825 --> 00:47:27.325
shifting

823
00:47:27.860 --> 00:47:32.440
out of stress and fear into a sense of all is well. I'm okay. I'm safe.

824
00:47:32.900 --> 00:47:38.680
That's what the ventral vagus nerve pathways do. The dorsal pathways, that's not what they do.

825
00:47:38.820 --> 00:47:43.080
They're like the emergency shutdown breaks. So they'll come in and say, so

826
00:47:43.674 --> 00:47:44.494
we're stressed.

827
00:47:44.795 --> 00:47:48.174
There's no coregulation or self regulation that we can turn to.

828
00:47:49.515 --> 00:47:51.775
So we're now gonna go into fight or flight.

829
00:47:52.234 --> 00:47:56.974
We're gonna try and defend ourselves. We're on our own. We've moved into a solitary defense state.

830
00:47:58.910 --> 00:48:00.130
And fight or flight,

831
00:48:00.430 --> 00:48:03.330
you know, can look flight can look like workaholism.

832
00:48:04.350 --> 00:48:08.050
It can look like anxiety. It can look like spinning. It can look like

833
00:48:09.870 --> 00:48:10.850
avoiding things.

834
00:48:11.390 --> 00:48:12.530
It can look like,

835
00:48:13.305 --> 00:48:13.805
oh,

836
00:48:14.184 --> 00:48:15.565
what else can it look like?

837
00:48:18.505 --> 00:48:19.405
I don't know.

838
00:48:20.425 --> 00:48:21.964
Fight can look like anger.

839
00:48:24.184 --> 00:48:27.480
It can look like work as well. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna get this done.

840
00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:29.420
I'm gonna get this stupid to do list done.

841
00:48:29.800 --> 00:48:32.220
Like, that is fight energy, the anger energy.

842
00:48:33.560 --> 00:48:34.060
So

843
00:48:34.840 --> 00:48:38.860
we move into before we get to freeze. The body is going it's stressed.

844
00:48:39.135 --> 00:48:44.435
It's gonna try its first line of defense, its first instinct is self regulation, coregulation.

845
00:48:44.735 --> 00:48:47.555
If you're old enough, it's self regulation. If you're younger, it's coregulation.

846
00:48:48.415 --> 00:48:51.555
And then if that doesn't work, if it's not there, then

847
00:48:51.855 --> 00:49:01.580
it's going to fight or try and fight or flight or fawn, and if that doesn't work, then the dorsal brake is gonna come in and it's gonna shut the whole thing down.

848
00:49:01.640 --> 00:49:03.020
It's literally like

849
00:49:03.480 --> 00:49:13.105
jacking up the emergency brake on your car, and it's a primitive survival brake all, you know, living well, I think it's almost universal that all living creatures have this capacity.

850
00:49:13.565 --> 00:49:15.185
It's like a hard stop.

851
00:49:15.565 --> 00:49:17.825
It wants you to just stop.

852
00:49:19.325 --> 00:49:19.905
Just stop.

853
00:49:20.285 --> 00:49:22.705
Just stop. Stop fighting. Stop fighting. Just stop.

854
00:49:23.490 --> 00:49:24.710
You go into collapse.

855
00:49:25.170 --> 00:49:29.190
It's it is along a continuum into shutdown, into numbness, into immobilization.

856
00:49:29.490 --> 00:49:30.710
It wants you to be immobilized.

857
00:49:31.490 --> 00:49:33.190
The goal is to preserve energy.

858
00:49:33.570 --> 00:49:39.430
It's an energy conservation state and to dull or disconnect from our senses because it's too freaking much.

859
00:49:41.035 --> 00:49:43.935
So emergency breaks only is only enacted

860
00:49:44.555 --> 00:49:50.815
when every when we feel trapped, helpless, hopeless, unable to defend ourselves, fight or fight are not gonna work,

861
00:49:51.275 --> 00:49:55.400
that's when the dorsal break comes in, activates the freeze response,

862
00:49:56.180 --> 00:49:58.119
the nervous system freeze response,

863
00:49:58.579 --> 00:49:59.319
and that's

864
00:49:59.700 --> 00:50:00.599
when trauma

865
00:50:01.059 --> 00:50:01.559
happens.

866
00:50:02.180 --> 00:50:04.280
Trauma doesn't happen with fight or flight.

867
00:50:04.900 --> 00:50:10.520
Some sort of describe it as kind of on the spectrum we're headed there, but trauma isn't until the freeze

868
00:50:11.005 --> 00:50:12.385
response has been activated.

869
00:50:13.805 --> 00:50:14.865
And when we're there,

870
00:50:16.765 --> 00:50:18.305
right, that's a whole thing.

871
00:50:18.685 --> 00:50:20.385
So just to sort of

872
00:50:22.285 --> 00:50:25.425
make this a bit more clear. So the ventral vagal system,

873
00:50:25.880 --> 00:50:26.940
we're in the parasympathetic

874
00:50:29.240 --> 00:50:29.740
that

875
00:50:30.440 --> 00:50:34.860
is in play because we're coregulating and self regulating all day long.

876
00:50:34.920 --> 00:50:36.780
We stay in our our our window.

877
00:50:38.135 --> 00:50:39.275
We our neurotransmitters

878
00:50:39.655 --> 00:50:44.635
are balanced. We have oxytocin, serotonin, endorphin, catecholamines. They're all nicely balanced.

879
00:50:44.694 --> 00:50:45.835
We're feeling good.

880
00:50:46.295 --> 00:50:47.194
We're in homeostasis.

881
00:50:47.815 --> 00:50:48.714
We feel happy.

882
00:50:49.255 --> 00:50:52.555
Our health is good because it's only when we're in,

883
00:50:53.700 --> 00:50:57.320
you know, this the the when when we're in a rest digest,

884
00:50:58.740 --> 00:51:01.140
detox repair state, can we actually be healthy?

885
00:51:01.140 --> 00:51:03.960
It's the only state in which the body can do repair work,

886
00:51:04.660 --> 00:51:05.880
preserve its health.

887
00:51:06.565 --> 00:51:11.445
We feel present. We feel social. We feel productive. We feel peaceful. All is well.

888
00:51:11.445 --> 00:51:16.325
Everything's good. More or less. More or less. Everything's good. That's the normal human state.

889
00:51:16.325 --> 00:51:19.225
That's where we wanna be seventy to eighty percent of the time.

890
00:51:19.845 --> 00:51:24.660
But sometimes shit's gonna happen. We're gonna kick into a sympathetic distress state,

891
00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:27.700
and that's where our dopamine can raise, adrenaline,

892
00:51:28.160 --> 00:51:28.660
cortisol,

893
00:51:29.359 --> 00:51:29.859
catecholamines.

894
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:35.985
Our our immune system will ramp up. Our pupils will dilate.

895
00:51:37.985 --> 00:51:38.385
Dilate. Yeah.

896
00:51:38.385 --> 00:51:43.285
There's different different Kick of physiological things that will happen, and this is where we get a little burst of energy.

897
00:51:44.065 --> 00:51:46.645
We can feel high. We can feel energized,

898
00:51:47.105 --> 00:51:49.365
driven, pressured, stressed, anxious

899
00:51:50.310 --> 00:51:52.410
when it is especially when it's, you know, really

900
00:51:53.030 --> 00:51:54.410
in the fight or flight states.

901
00:51:54.630 --> 00:51:59.450
And dorsal, the freeze response, the trauma response, all our neurotransmitters

902
00:52:00.550 --> 00:52:01.050
tank.

903
00:52:02.244 --> 00:52:05.305
Everything drops down. It's a it's an energy conservation state.

904
00:52:06.165 --> 00:52:07.464
We have low oxytocin.

905
00:52:07.925 --> 00:52:13.385
In fact, not only do we have low oxytocin, but it's actually cut off. Let me say

906
00:52:15.990 --> 00:52:17.990
Let me Summit this way, actually, that it's,

907
00:52:19.030 --> 00:52:23.430
the uptake of oxytocin is blocked off. This is not a time to go and socially bond.

908
00:52:23.430 --> 00:52:25.350
Neither is the high sympathetic state either.

909
00:52:25.350 --> 00:52:31.055
When we're running away from the tiger or dealing with our to do list or trying to cope with our kids or whatever the heck it is,

910
00:52:31.515 --> 00:52:33.995
we're not looking to kumbaya with another person.

911
00:52:33.995 --> 00:52:37.695
In fact, if they try and draw on our nervous system, we might be like, what

912
00:52:38.075 --> 00:52:39.855
do you need? I'm busy. Like

913
00:52:40.155 --> 00:52:44.495
and when you're in dorsal, it's not even like, what do you need? I'm busy. It's like,

914
00:52:45.490 --> 00:52:47.590
I don't even wanna be around people. You're overwhelming.

915
00:52:48.290 --> 00:52:51.410
Everything's overwhelming. People are overwhelming. Sounds are overwhelming.

916
00:52:51.410 --> 00:52:53.190
Lights are overwhelming. Everything's overwhelming.

917
00:52:53.970 --> 00:52:59.955
So we we we are blocked off from the capacity to to socially connect to other people.

918
00:53:00.515 --> 00:53:04.775
Serotonin tanks, cortisol endorphins, even those they can get low.

919
00:53:05.235 --> 00:53:07.815
We don't this is a whole this is a hell on earth.

920
00:53:08.195 --> 00:53:11.975
It's a longer continuum. There's a mild dorsal to a really extreme dorsal,

921
00:53:12.480 --> 00:53:15.300
but this is how we typically feel. Low, depressed,

922
00:53:15.600 --> 00:53:18.100
exhausted, despairing, hopeless, helpless, unmotivated,

923
00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:19.860
heavy.

924
00:53:20.560 --> 00:53:21.460
That's dorsal.

925
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:23.460
And the body wants you there,

926
00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:25.619
but we hate being there. So

927
00:53:26.265 --> 00:53:28.444
we're gonna talk about functional freeze in a moment.

928
00:53:28.825 --> 00:53:29.325
So

929
00:53:29.785 --> 00:53:30.444
in sympathetic,

930
00:53:31.305 --> 00:53:32.285
there's still hope.

931
00:53:33.065 --> 00:53:37.085
I can fight my way or fight my way through this. I can overcome this. I can do this.

932
00:53:37.865 --> 00:53:41.880
We're running the hormones of stress, but you know what? We're gonna get through this.

933
00:53:41.880 --> 00:53:42.779
There's still hope.

934
00:53:43.079 --> 00:53:47.720
The window of capacity and the window of tolerance, we're like, oh, everything's well.

935
00:53:47.720 --> 00:53:50.119
I can do that. No problem. I can do that. Yeah. Sure. I can do that.

936
00:53:50.119 --> 00:53:58.525
Like, it's but we feel connected to ourselves, and we're able to connect to other people, and we laugh and we enjoy and we wanna socialize and we enjoy people.

937
00:53:58.525 --> 00:54:02.224
And if they're having a hard time, we're like, oh, I'm here for you. Right? Like, all good.

938
00:54:03.005 --> 00:54:04.464
Human's natural state.

939
00:54:05.164 --> 00:54:06.385
And then there's the dorsal,

940
00:54:06.924 --> 00:54:08.545
which is where we become immobilized,

941
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:11.620
and we get the I can't do this. I can't.

942
00:54:12.240 --> 00:54:15.700
I don't I don't care. I don't want to. It's too much.

943
00:54:16.560 --> 00:54:17.380
It's impossible.

944
00:54:18.240 --> 00:54:21.825
You know? It's where where we get the fuck it's with our foods. This is where we relapse.

945
00:54:21.905 --> 00:54:28.085
We relapse here a lot because when we're immobilized, we want the fast acting fuel, but we really mobilize

946
00:54:28.785 --> 00:54:30.085
in in high dorsal

947
00:54:30.385 --> 00:54:32.244
because we don't have

948
00:54:32.704 --> 00:54:38.480
anything to work with, to do our freaking addiction recovery tools, to go in whatever we need to do and journal on that.

949
00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:44.100
Right? Like, our bodies immobilized us. We are we are trying to get our car in gear

950
00:54:44.560 --> 00:54:47.380
over a very powerful emergency brake,

951
00:54:47.680 --> 00:54:49.140
and we don't even care.

952
00:54:49.805 --> 00:54:52.705
I don't even care anymore. I don't care. I'm just gonna go eat whatever.

953
00:54:57.245 --> 00:54:59.985
So I don't think these are helpful. We'll just keep moving on.

954
00:55:02.970 --> 00:55:03.470
Alright.

955
00:55:04.970 --> 00:55:05.470
So

956
00:55:09.210 --> 00:55:11.870
let's talk a little bit more about dorsal freeze.

957
00:55:12.890 --> 00:55:15.070
So freeze is a longer continuum.

958
00:55:17.415 --> 00:55:19.735
The trauma response is a longer continuum.

959
00:55:19.735 --> 00:55:25.435
So it can be from a mild numbing, a kind of a and you can feel it in your body where there's a bit of a slump.

960
00:55:25.655 --> 00:55:35.280
And once you really understand this information, which is why it's so freaking helpful for food addiction recovery or food recovery, is that you'll begin to start to get a sense of, oh, there's a bit of a collapse happening here.

961
00:55:35.280 --> 00:55:36.319
There's a bit of a down

962
00:55:36.720 --> 00:55:38.160
a shift in my energy down.

963
00:55:38.160 --> 00:55:41.859
You might be like, oh, this is the beginning signs of my body saying it's overwhelmed.

964
00:55:42.160 --> 00:55:47.085
And we wanna get so freaking good at understanding what state am I in? Sympathetic, fight flight?

965
00:55:47.085 --> 00:55:50.145
Am I in freeze? Or am I in my lovely ventral state?

966
00:55:50.685 --> 00:55:51.185
And

967
00:55:51.885 --> 00:55:59.885
when you start to begin to feel the first little bit of a lift of dorsal energy, that's when we wanna be able to act on it and do something about it.

968
00:55:59.885 --> 00:56:04.799
Because if we just ignore it and we're like, I hate that I'm tired. Let me go get another coffee.

969
00:56:04.799 --> 00:56:06.180
Or I hate that I'm tired.

970
00:56:06.880 --> 00:56:09.780
I'm gonna start remembering how many things I have to do today

971
00:56:10.319 --> 00:56:17.460
or how negative the news is or something that's stressful and you start flowing cortisol or adrenaline again to tell the freeze response, you know, you

972
00:56:17.835 --> 00:56:18.575
piss off,

973
00:56:20.155 --> 00:56:20.655
then

974
00:56:21.835 --> 00:56:23.375
you've missed your window.

975
00:56:24.395 --> 00:56:32.255
You've missed how to work with your body to avoid pushing yourself so far that it's just a matter of time before you're back in the food.

976
00:56:33.170 --> 00:56:33.670
Physiological

977
00:56:34.370 --> 00:56:35.510
so sorry. Freeze.

978
00:56:35.970 --> 00:56:38.070
Continuum. Trauma is on a continuum.

979
00:56:38.370 --> 00:56:41.510
Very, very, very beginnings of a feeling of a bit of a heaviness,

980
00:56:41.810 --> 00:56:42.550
a fatigue.

981
00:56:45.265 --> 00:56:48.885
But you you you can still sort of be present to it. You can feel something shifting

982
00:56:49.345 --> 00:56:53.825
all the way through to, like, Summit exhaustion. You can barely get out of bed.

983
00:56:53.825 --> 00:56:55.685
The idea of doing dishes is overwhelming.

984
00:56:56.065 --> 00:56:59.285
That's kind of in the middle. And then more on the extreme end is dissociation.

985
00:56:59.940 --> 00:57:02.440
You don't feel real. You don't feel like in your body. You feel

986
00:57:02.980 --> 00:57:04.119
like things are unreal.

987
00:57:04.980 --> 00:57:07.319
You feel very numb, flat,

988
00:57:07.619 --> 00:57:08.119
joyless,

989
00:57:08.420 --> 00:57:09.640
despairing, depressed.

990
00:57:10.819 --> 00:57:11.880
And in the extreme

991
00:57:12.260 --> 00:57:13.079
stream end,

992
00:57:13.785 --> 00:57:14.984
your body will be,

993
00:57:15.625 --> 00:57:16.525
so immobilized

994
00:57:17.305 --> 00:57:18.365
that you're catatonic.

995
00:57:18.744 --> 00:57:21.165
You go into a coma. You pass out.

996
00:57:21.785 --> 00:57:24.684
And in very extreme states of freeze,

997
00:57:24.984 --> 00:57:26.204
you will leave your body.

998
00:57:26.250 --> 00:57:30.650
You will be up on the roof or outside of the room or in another city or something.

999
00:57:30.650 --> 00:57:32.270
People can travel quite far,

1000
00:57:33.770 --> 00:57:36.030
under extreme extreme conditions

1001
00:57:36.410 --> 00:57:37.310
where the body

1002
00:57:38.744 --> 00:57:40.365
cannot handle any

1003
00:57:40.904 --> 00:57:43.325
any sensation, so it will leave the body.

1004
00:57:44.664 --> 00:57:45.805
So that's all

1005
00:57:46.105 --> 00:57:47.724
that's all along the continuum

1006
00:57:48.265 --> 00:57:49.484
of the phrase response.

1007
00:57:50.589 --> 00:57:54.450
So numbness, disconnection, low energy heaviness, slow movements and stillness,

1008
00:57:54.829 --> 00:57:55.329
procrastination,

1009
00:57:55.950 --> 00:57:56.450
unmotivation,

1010
00:57:57.309 --> 00:57:58.829
why can't I can't my shit together.

1011
00:57:58.829 --> 00:58:02.829
If you're saying those words if those words are coming out of your mouth, think dorsal freeze.

1012
00:58:02.829 --> 00:58:04.450
It's probably what's going on.

1013
00:58:04.715 --> 00:58:08.315
Shallow breathing or holding your breath, cold hands and feet because the,

1014
00:58:09.275 --> 00:58:10.735
yeah, the the yeah. Anyways.

1015
00:58:11.755 --> 00:58:13.135
Foggy thinking, difficulty

1016
00:58:13.435 --> 00:58:13.935
concentrating,

1017
00:58:14.475 --> 00:58:19.055
why bother, what's the point thoughts, a lot of negative thinking in this state.

1018
00:58:19.440 --> 00:58:23.060
I mean, obviously, why wouldn't there be? Like, you feel hopeless and helpless.

1019
00:58:23.760 --> 00:58:27.460
They're gonna think things like, it's never gonna get better. I can't do this. It's too much.

1020
00:58:28.400 --> 00:58:32.960
You feel stuck, powerless, unable to make decisions, indecisive. You go blank under pressure.

1021
00:58:32.960 --> 00:58:33.859
You're just like,

1022
00:58:35.165 --> 00:58:35.665
depression,

1023
00:58:37.005 --> 00:58:39.345
despair, helplessness, defeat, shame, guilt,

1024
00:58:39.885 --> 00:58:41.025
internalized faith,

1025
00:58:41.565 --> 00:58:42.065
failure.

1026
00:58:43.325 --> 00:58:44.465
So you can see

1027
00:58:45.645 --> 00:58:54.020
how freaking difficult it is when you're in the freeze response to be doing all the freaking addiction recovery tools of of, let's say, a 12 step program or other programs of recovery.

1028
00:58:54.020 --> 00:58:55.240
Right? It can be

1029
00:58:57.220 --> 00:59:00.840
overwhelming to do anything when you're already in a state of overwhelm.

1030
00:59:01.140 --> 00:59:03.800
Everything's traumatizing when you're already traumatized.

1031
00:59:06.215 --> 00:59:11.035
So when you're in a program where you feel shame, guilt, or a sense of failure

1032
00:59:12.135 --> 00:59:26.430
for not following the freaking plan or doing what you're supposed to be doing or prepping your meals or all the different things that we need to do to to come into peace with food, to be abstinent, to stay abstinent, or at least be aligned with with our the food plan that we wanna be following,

1033
00:59:26.890 --> 00:59:28.030
we can see how

1034
00:59:29.210 --> 00:59:32.670
well intentioned addiction recovery tools can actually

1035
00:59:33.375 --> 00:59:36.195
make the freeze response more intense, not less.

1036
00:59:38.895 --> 00:59:39.395
So

1037
00:59:40.175 --> 00:59:40.675
here's

1038
00:59:41.855 --> 00:59:44.355
what a traumatized nervous system looks like.

1039
00:59:45.055 --> 00:59:49.279
So there's an event that could be traumatizing that gets stored and trapped in the body,

1040
00:59:49.579 --> 00:59:56.299
and it can be it could be a one off or it could be maybe just a few, but that is not a traumatized nervous system yet.

1041
00:59:56.299 --> 01:00:02.079
A traumatized nervous system is where we are stuck in chronic cycles of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.

1042
01:00:02.915 --> 01:00:07.335
Fawn is where we are attempting to appease somebody who's threatening.

1043
01:00:07.635 --> 01:00:10.215
It falls on this fight or flight are sympathetic.

1044
01:00:10.755 --> 01:00:12.775
Freeze and fawn are parasympathetic

1045
01:00:13.635 --> 01:00:15.975
because they're our repression. The parasympathetic

1046
01:00:16.355 --> 01:00:17.255
in in the

1047
01:00:17.619 --> 01:00:18.119
dorsal

1048
01:00:19.339 --> 01:00:19.839
sense

1049
01:00:21.140 --> 01:00:23.720
because remember, there's two breaks and the sort of the emergency

1050
01:00:24.020 --> 01:00:25.960
sense of it. It's it's a massive

1051
01:00:26.339 --> 01:00:27.640
repression of energy.

1052
01:00:28.820 --> 01:00:32.040
Your first choice is not to fawn somebody who's threatening.

1053
01:00:32.099 --> 01:00:35.645
Your first choice is to fight them or first choice is to flight.

1054
01:00:36.105 --> 01:00:37.965
That's what they say is the first response

1055
01:00:38.345 --> 01:00:42.445
of every mammal is to flight. If they're not flighting, it's because they think they can't

1056
01:00:42.905 --> 01:00:43.405
or,

1057
01:00:44.825 --> 01:00:48.930
yeah, they have more confidence in being able to sort of bully or fight or attack

1058
01:00:50.130 --> 01:00:51.589
their way out of a threat.

1059
01:00:51.970 --> 01:00:53.910
So flight is first, then fight,

1060
01:00:54.609 --> 01:00:56.630
potentially fawn, and then freeze.

1061
01:00:57.089 --> 01:01:01.910
But fawn only happens when you don't believe you can run away from the person who's

1062
01:01:03.775 --> 01:01:05.555
harming you, threatening you,

1063
01:01:07.855 --> 01:01:09.395
or when you can't fight them.

1064
01:01:10.415 --> 01:01:13.075
So you and what happens then is you bounce between

1065
01:01:13.775 --> 01:01:14.915
distress, stress,

1066
01:01:15.230 --> 01:01:15.970
and collapse.

1067
01:01:16.190 --> 01:01:22.930
You fight flighting, you're doing, you're activating, you're activating, you're actually stressed, blah blah blah blah, and then all of a sudden you just get exhausted and you collapse.

1068
01:01:24.750 --> 01:01:30.130
So the stress cycles look like being anxious, on the go, busy doing doing, fighting, flighting.

1069
01:01:30.845 --> 01:01:32.924
And then, of course, the collapse is the freeze response.

1070
01:01:32.924 --> 01:01:36.305
And you can't and this is very classic that you can't settle.

1071
01:01:36.605 --> 01:01:37.744
You can't get motivated,

1072
01:01:38.204 --> 01:01:39.585
and your system just

1073
01:01:39.885 --> 01:01:41.664
can't find safety.

1074
01:01:42.684 --> 01:01:45.500
It just can't find safety. It is

1075
01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:46.860
not arriving

1076
01:01:48.200 --> 01:01:49.580
to the true parasympathetic

1077
01:01:50.280 --> 01:01:51.660
dropping back into the

1078
01:01:52.760 --> 01:01:53.980
the window of

1079
01:01:57.080 --> 01:02:01.425
our our window of capacity where we feel like all is well. I am safe. I'm supported. I'm loved.

1080
01:02:01.425 --> 01:02:02.325
Life is good.

1081
01:02:03.825 --> 01:02:05.045
We can't get back there.

1082
01:02:05.744 --> 01:02:10.085
We can't get back there. That's what a trauma types nervous system is. Maybe little moments.

1083
01:02:10.610 --> 01:02:13.890
Maybe when we're having fun, like, really playing a game and having fun.

1084
01:02:13.890 --> 01:02:18.230
Maybe when we're exercising. And after for some moments of time,

1085
01:02:18.690 --> 01:02:21.410
we can feel this feeling of, wow, I'm deeply relaxed.

1086
01:02:21.410 --> 01:02:28.095
I remember sometimes when I come out of yoga class, especially if it's a hot yoga and I have just, like, sweated and I had the most amazing Shavasana,

1087
01:02:28.475 --> 01:02:31.855
and I come out and all my whole body just feels, like, really

1088
01:02:32.315 --> 01:02:32.815
shifted,

1089
01:02:33.435 --> 01:02:36.175
but it doesn't last. I have a traumatized nervous system,

1090
01:02:36.555 --> 01:02:44.860
and it very Kick, there'll be a I'll I'll return to all of my muscles being holding a tent attention, a tightness.

1091
01:02:46.040 --> 01:02:47.180
It's braced.

1092
01:02:47.880 --> 01:02:48.860
It's constricted.

1093
01:02:49.560 --> 01:02:50.060
It's

1094
01:02:50.600 --> 01:02:51.100
braced

1095
01:02:51.935 --> 01:02:55.234
for the shoe gonna drop, for the too much, the too hard.

1096
01:02:56.175 --> 01:02:59.155
So this is what a traumatized nervous system is.

1097
01:03:01.055 --> 01:03:02.815
Here's a graphic of what that looks like.

1098
01:03:02.815 --> 01:03:07.220
So here's what a regulated nervous system looks like, which is pretty freaking idealistic.

1099
01:03:07.360 --> 01:03:14.880
There's gonna be some slipping into the there'll be a little some dips up right out of the the zone of, oh, I can handle that.

1100
01:03:14.880 --> 01:03:18.580
There'll be Summit things like, oh, I'm gonna have to dig a little deep for that to get that done.

1101
01:03:19.445 --> 01:03:20.345
We get aroused.

1102
01:03:20.725 --> 01:03:28.025
There's a sense of I have a need or a want or something I need to do or a challenge, and the the sympathetic nervous system moves us into mobilization,

1103
01:03:29.285 --> 01:03:30.905
and then we take the action.

1104
01:03:32.180 --> 01:03:33.640
It resolves itself. The parasympathetic

1105
01:03:33.940 --> 01:03:35.079
comes in and we

1106
01:03:35.700 --> 01:03:39.720
go back into that. Everything's groovy. Everything's good. Now what do I have to do next?

1107
01:03:40.259 --> 01:03:42.920
And we just kinda flow throughout our day. Now this might happen

1108
01:03:43.299 --> 01:03:47.695
over seconds, over over minutes, over hours, but this is what's happening all day long.

1109
01:03:47.695 --> 01:03:49.715
All day, all day, all day, all day long.

1110
01:03:50.335 --> 01:03:51.635
And this is what a

1111
01:03:51.935 --> 01:03:55.475
a a beautiful regulated nervous system is. Like, oh, it's lunchtime.

1112
01:03:56.415 --> 01:03:57.875
Let me go prepare it.

1113
01:03:58.380 --> 01:03:59.039
No problem.

1114
01:03:59.420 --> 01:04:04.240
So easy. I sit down. I enjoy it. It's why people who have a regulated nervous system

1115
01:04:05.579 --> 01:04:07.119
don't have any issue following

1116
01:04:07.500 --> 01:04:11.839
the food plan that we're given on our our food addiction recovery programs. Because quite frankly,

1117
01:04:12.255 --> 01:04:18.035
when you're in a regulated nervous system, it's not hard to follow that food plan. Not hard at all.

1118
01:04:19.375 --> 01:04:20.515
Little bit of effort,

1119
01:04:20.894 --> 01:04:23.075
little bit of energy, little bit of planning.

1120
01:04:24.095 --> 01:04:24.595
So

1121
01:04:26.880 --> 01:04:27.680
there's nothing hard.

1122
01:04:27.680 --> 01:04:32.740
There's really nothing all that hard about eating three meals, whole foods, no snacks. Nothing.

1123
01:04:33.200 --> 01:04:36.420
If it's really, really, really, really hard, there's something more going on.

1124
01:04:36.559 --> 01:04:40.474
You have a dysregulated nervous system in play, and it it makes it feel like,

1125
01:04:41.015 --> 01:04:42.795
oh, how much? I don't have time to stop.

1126
01:04:43.654 --> 01:04:46.694
I'm tired. You're in the freeze response. I got too much to do.

1127
01:04:46.694 --> 01:04:49.575
Ain't nobody got time to go in the kitchen, make those stupid meals, and weigh everything.

1128
01:04:49.575 --> 01:04:54.234
That's just overwhelming. That's too much. I I don't have time for this. Time

1129
01:04:55.730 --> 01:05:00.470
Scarcity is almost always behind our trauma responses in so many different ways.

1130
01:05:00.930 --> 01:05:01.430
Love,

1131
01:05:02.609 --> 01:05:07.910
scarcity, attention, support, resources, energy, time, all of those, money, all of those, lots of scarcity.

1132
01:05:08.609 --> 01:05:10.070
And that keeps us terrified,

1133
01:05:10.795 --> 01:05:12.095
and that keeps us dysregulated.

1134
01:05:13.435 --> 01:05:18.095
But in a beautiful regulated little nervous system, there's nothing the least bit hard

1135
01:05:18.955 --> 01:05:21.435
about eating whole foods and following a food plan.

1136
01:05:21.435 --> 01:05:24.975
That's why people who don't have food addiction go like, what's the deal?

1137
01:05:26.750 --> 01:05:29.890
No big deal. It isn't when you have a regulated nervous system.

1138
01:05:29.950 --> 01:05:32.670
This is what a dysregulated nervous system looks like, though.

1139
01:05:32.670 --> 01:05:34.849
There's lots of bouncing back and forth,

1140
01:05:35.230 --> 01:05:38.770
getting really, really stressed on something relatively minor potentially,

1141
01:05:39.285 --> 01:05:42.265
and then, oh, feeling this collapse. And then you gotta, like,

1142
01:05:42.805 --> 01:05:46.265
sorta get your body back mobilized again so you have stressful

1143
01:05:46.565 --> 01:05:47.065
thoughts.

1144
01:05:48.964 --> 01:05:51.305
You reach for foods that are dysregulating,

1145
01:05:52.164 --> 01:05:53.385
sugar, caffeine,

1146
01:05:54.840 --> 01:05:58.700
something like that. This sort of gets you getting revved up again. Boom.

1147
01:05:58.920 --> 01:06:01.560
You fly back up into the fight or flight. You're immobilized again.

1148
01:06:01.560 --> 01:06:07.820
You're doing what you had to do, and you're feeling like you're kind of you're buzzing on the high of the adrenaline and the cortisol, and you're feeling good, and I'm doing

1149
01:06:08.135 --> 01:06:11.095
and feeling safe because I'm running away. I said, I'm getting through this. I can do this.

1150
01:06:11.095 --> 01:06:15.434
That's good. It's gonna be great. When this is done, I'm gonna feel safe.

1151
01:06:15.494 --> 01:06:17.675
But, honey, it doesn't work like that. Right?

1152
01:06:18.214 --> 01:06:19.595
Doesn't work like that.

1153
01:06:19.734 --> 01:06:24.720
You don't get to drop back into the zone of safety where you feel calm, present, socially engaged

1154
01:06:25.579 --> 01:06:29.440
unless you're self regulating and coregulating. There's no other way to do it.

1155
01:06:30.940 --> 01:06:32.319
And we're not doing coregulating

1156
01:06:32.619 --> 01:06:38.335
there or self regulating there, and we are not doing coregulating there or self regulating there because we can't.

1157
01:06:38.795 --> 01:06:41.775
They're solid solitary defense states. They literally,

1158
01:06:43.515 --> 01:06:49.170
you you know, block it so that we're not stopping to have tea with somebody while we're trying to run away from a tiger.

1159
01:06:51.010 --> 01:06:54.390
So this is the stress state, high fight flight, high high activation.

1160
01:06:54.609 --> 01:06:57.190
We're flowing adrenaline cortisol along a continuum.

1161
01:06:57.730 --> 01:07:04.525
And when it's too much for too long or too acute, that can overwhelm the body and it can drop into the crash state,

1162
01:07:04.905 --> 01:07:07.405
which is an even more extreme

1163
01:07:07.865 --> 01:07:09.325
state of activation,

1164
01:07:10.025 --> 01:07:11.005
even more extreme.

1165
01:07:11.385 --> 01:07:13.485
So if you think you're flowing high cortisol,

1166
01:07:13.785 --> 01:07:15.965
you know, the hormones that stress up here,

1167
01:07:16.950 --> 01:07:18.890
even more down here. But

1168
01:07:19.830 --> 01:07:23.530
the whole point of the freeze response is so that you're less they're dulled.

1169
01:07:23.910 --> 01:07:24.890
They're more manageable,

1170
01:07:26.070 --> 01:07:27.369
but they're still there.

1171
01:07:27.830 --> 01:07:29.290
You can be exhausted,

1172
01:07:30.125 --> 01:07:33.505
like, feel like you've got absolutely no energy in the free state,

1173
01:07:34.365 --> 01:07:35.585
and there's extraordinary

1174
01:07:36.845 --> 01:07:39.025
energy in in your body. Extraordinary.

1175
01:07:39.565 --> 01:07:41.105
If you could tap it, you could probably

1176
01:07:41.885 --> 01:07:45.580
you could probably power up a whole city, but you you're not aware of it.

1177
01:07:45.580 --> 01:07:48.320
You think I'll never you know, I'm depressed. I have no energy.

1178
01:07:48.700 --> 01:07:49.680
Is that true,

1179
01:07:50.060 --> 01:07:51.760
or are you in the freeze response?

1180
01:07:52.060 --> 01:07:55.840
And underneath the freeze response is a whole bunch of trapped energy,

1181
01:07:56.220 --> 01:07:57.840
and we can reclaim it.

1182
01:08:00.994 --> 01:08:01.974
This is another

1183
01:08:02.275 --> 01:08:05.555
slide that Kick shows you what a a traumatized nervous system looks like.

1184
01:08:05.555 --> 01:08:08.194
It's where you get stuck on. Some people are only here.

1185
01:08:08.194 --> 01:08:12.115
Like, I I'm not even gonna just pretend this goes all along like this.

1186
01:08:12.115 --> 01:08:16.300
You're just stressed all the time. You do do do. You never come down. You're never not busy.

1187
01:08:16.300 --> 01:08:18.399
You're never not anxious. You're never not,

1188
01:08:19.020 --> 01:08:20.240
in perpetual motion.

1189
01:08:21.819 --> 01:08:25.439
So you can have a traumatized nervous system where the stress state's always on,

1190
01:08:25.865 --> 01:08:27.085
high anxious state,

1191
01:08:27.465 --> 01:08:27.965
or

1192
01:08:28.345 --> 01:08:30.045
the dorsal freeze is always on.

1193
01:08:31.305 --> 01:08:39.005
This is also a very typical pattern where it's stress, stress, collapse, stress, stress, collapse, and we're not really spending a whole lot of time in our happy place in the middle.

1194
01:08:41.400 --> 01:08:44.860
Okay. Let's talk about functional freeze. This is this is

1195
01:08:46.200 --> 01:08:49.900
this, I think, is very, very relevant to people who could chronically relapse

1196
01:08:51.160 --> 01:08:55.420
for reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that sugar is an opiate,

1197
01:08:56.194 --> 01:08:57.575
sugar spikes our dopamine,

1198
01:08:58.035 --> 01:09:00.615
sugar is a drug, nothing to do with that. Different.

1199
01:09:01.154 --> 01:09:04.215
It's a different pathway. It's a different lens on all of this.

1200
01:09:04.515 --> 01:09:06.055
So in functional freeze,

1201
01:09:06.595 --> 01:09:12.460
you have high dorsal energy. There are parts of your your body has got the emergency brake on,

1202
01:09:13.319 --> 01:09:15.819
and you've got your your pedal to the metal.

1203
01:09:16.680 --> 01:09:20.620
You have got you are just revving sympathetic adrenaline, cortisol.

1204
01:09:21.080 --> 01:09:24.564
So you your body has said to you, I need you to stop. It's

1205
01:09:25.104 --> 01:09:29.824
pulled. It's flipped the breaker. It wants you to go into this energy conservation state.

1206
01:09:29.824 --> 01:09:33.444
It wants you to stop. It's pulled the emergency brake, and it's thinking

1207
01:09:34.064 --> 01:09:36.965
you're gonna stop. But you're like, oh, no.

1208
01:09:38.260 --> 01:09:39.479
I gotta keep going.

1209
01:09:39.859 --> 01:09:40.359
So

1210
01:09:40.739 --> 01:09:45.319
you start flooding the body with adrenaline, cortisol, and there's a hundreds of other chemicals

1211
01:09:45.620 --> 01:09:47.779
related to stress. I couldn't tell you what they are.

1212
01:09:47.779 --> 01:09:51.239
I just know that they Christophers are the ones we tend to know about.

1213
01:09:51.735 --> 01:09:52.475
And that

1214
01:09:53.015 --> 01:09:55.355
means that we're crashed. We're dorsal,

1215
01:09:57.815 --> 01:09:59.035
and we're also

1216
01:10:00.135 --> 01:10:03.735
functional. We're both mobilized and immobilized at the same time.

1217
01:10:03.735 --> 01:10:12.730
So someone who's in functional freeze, this is typically a sign that you have developmental trauma because somewhere along the line, we figure out

1218
01:10:13.270 --> 01:10:17.290
as we're dropping into the freeze response more quickly and more easily than the average person.

1219
01:10:17.590 --> 01:10:21.610
And some people in their lifetime will maybe drop into freeze.

1220
01:10:23.195 --> 01:10:24.974
Maybe two or three times, maybe.

1221
01:10:25.675 --> 01:10:26.175
Maybe.

1222
01:10:26.954 --> 01:10:30.655
Like, that would be more normal. And for some of us, we're there chronically

1223
01:10:31.835 --> 01:10:32.335
chronically.

1224
01:10:33.275 --> 01:10:33.775
So

1225
01:10:34.870 --> 01:10:39.430
us at a normal state, and that is extremely hard on the body. It's very no kidding.

1226
01:10:39.430 --> 01:10:41.530
We wind up with health issues of all kinds,

1227
01:10:42.230 --> 01:10:46.250
including and especially digestive issues and autoimmune conditions. But

1228
01:10:47.190 --> 01:10:48.090
on the surface,

1229
01:10:48.725 --> 01:10:52.565
somewhere along the line, we figured out I still have to function. I still have to show up to work.

1230
01:10:52.565 --> 01:10:55.445
I still have to feed these babies. I still have to make a living. I still have to pay the rent.

1231
01:10:55.445 --> 01:10:58.585
I still have to, like, take care of people and do things.

1232
01:10:59.125 --> 01:11:03.890
And so we've learned how to function in the freeze response, and it's called functional freeze.

1233
01:11:03.890 --> 01:11:07.989
And that can be along a continuum for people who are barely functioning, but they're functioning,

1234
01:11:08.690 --> 01:11:12.070
you know, like, pay their rent and they whatever. They do the dishes,

1235
01:11:12.610 --> 01:11:13.110
maybe,

1236
01:11:13.745 --> 01:11:14.805
to high functioning

1237
01:11:15.265 --> 01:11:16.725
CEOs, running companies,

1238
01:11:17.105 --> 01:11:17.605
completely

1239
01:11:17.905 --> 01:11:18.405
competent.

1240
01:11:18.945 --> 01:11:22.945
Someone who's in functional freeze appears calm, competent, often in control.

1241
01:11:22.945 --> 01:11:27.925
They're like the proverbial duck, but under the, you know, under the water, their the body is way overworking.

1242
01:11:28.465 --> 01:11:29.525
Things get done,

1243
01:11:30.010 --> 01:11:34.830
but you've learned to do things without feeling connected inside. You feel disconnected,

1244
01:11:35.369 --> 01:11:36.510
emotionally flat,

1245
01:11:36.889 --> 01:11:41.469
numb. You might even be performing extraordinarily well. You might be a high performer.

1246
01:11:42.505 --> 01:11:45.485
You're but you're living on autopilot. You're going through the motions.

1247
01:11:45.545 --> 01:11:47.805
There is low energy and chronic fatigue there.

1248
01:11:48.185 --> 01:11:56.025
Even if you're sleeping eight hours a day, even if you're exercising, even if you're trying to do some things to rest, if you're in the functional freeze response, that's not gonna turn it around.

1249
01:11:56.025 --> 01:11:59.369
It's not enough. You need a very particular kind of process.

1250
01:12:01.510 --> 01:12:02.570
So you're exhausted,

1251
01:12:03.110 --> 01:12:06.969
but you're wired at the same time, the wired tired syndrome. So you figure out

1252
01:12:07.429 --> 01:12:11.289
you figure out ways to keep yourself mobilized and in motion.

1253
01:12:11.805 --> 01:12:12.705
And, of course,

1254
01:12:13.405 --> 01:12:14.945
one of the greatest ways

1255
01:12:15.645 --> 01:12:17.185
is to eat, consume,

1256
01:12:17.485 --> 01:12:19.585
drink foods that are stimulating

1257
01:12:20.045 --> 01:12:24.145
or to do things with foods that are stimulating, like fasting, which we're gonna talk about very shortly.

1258
01:12:24.780 --> 01:12:27.199
So we learn to drink coffee, chocolate,

1259
01:12:27.579 --> 01:12:28.400
eat sugar,

1260
01:12:28.780 --> 01:12:31.760
fast, eat a lot of meat because that can be stimulating, whatever.

1261
01:12:32.300 --> 01:12:35.520
Like, we figure out oh, thinking stressful thoughts,

1262
01:12:35.900 --> 01:12:38.239
worrying about the world, watching the news,

1263
01:12:38.545 --> 01:12:44.065
doing things that we know darn well are going to dysregulate us, but we're not doing that because we're gluttons for punishment.

1264
01:12:44.065 --> 01:12:46.405
We're doing it because we're in a functional freeze pattern.

1265
01:12:46.545 --> 01:12:51.045
Because we need to stay in motion because the part of us that's terrified,

1266
01:12:51.550 --> 01:13:02.610
that wants to stay fighting and flighting to survive and get stuff done and not have bad things happen and balls drop and rent not get paid and lose our drop and all those horrible things that it's terrified of, real legitimate threats,

1267
01:13:03.470 --> 01:13:08.655
it wants to stay in motion, but the body is overwhelmed and it's dropped into freeze.

1268
01:13:08.655 --> 01:13:10.995
So we've learned ways

1269
01:13:12.015 --> 01:13:15.935
to stay functional, to stay, you know, functioning in functional freeze. So

1270
01:13:17.535 --> 01:13:21.775
but we have very little capacity to experience joy, pleasure, or deep connection.

1271
01:13:21.775 --> 01:13:23.390
We have almost no capacity.

1272
01:13:23.929 --> 01:13:28.190
So this is the Kick of scenario where, let's say, one of the partners has dropped into freeze,

1273
01:13:29.610 --> 01:13:30.110
and

1274
01:13:30.810 --> 01:13:32.350
the other partner isn't.

1275
01:13:32.730 --> 01:13:36.270
Maybe the other partner is in, you know, a a regulated nervous system.

1276
01:13:36.555 --> 01:13:39.455
And the other partner says to the one who's in functional freeze,

1277
01:13:40.155 --> 01:13:44.655
I love you. I wish I could help you. I see you're struggling and suffering. I'm here.

1278
01:13:44.875 --> 01:13:47.855
And the person in functional freeze is like, I don't feel it.

1279
01:13:48.750 --> 01:13:50.830
I don't feel loved. I don't feel safe.

1280
01:13:50.830 --> 01:13:54.130
I don't feel safe anywhere with anyone, not not even with God potentially.

1281
01:13:55.230 --> 01:13:56.130
Almost guaranteed.

1282
01:13:56.190 --> 01:13:59.870
But intellectually, they might understand they're unconditionally loved by a higher power.

1283
01:13:59.870 --> 01:14:05.465
They intellectually understand they were loved by their partner or their children or friends or something,

1284
01:14:05.844 --> 01:14:06.824
but they don't

1285
01:14:07.364 --> 01:14:11.305
feel it. It doesn't get through because of the knowing.

1286
01:14:12.245 --> 01:14:16.745
So everything looks more or less fine on the outside, but it is a joyless state.

1287
01:14:16.980 --> 01:14:21.540
It is a joyless state. So many people live here, and they don't even know what it is. They kinda do.

1288
01:14:21.540 --> 01:14:24.920
Oh, or they're like, oh, I'm joyless. I'm depressed.

1289
01:14:25.700 --> 01:14:30.360
I gotta go to my doctor. And the doctor's like, oh, honey. You have a neurotransmitter,

1290
01:14:31.525 --> 01:14:32.565
imbalance situation.

1291
01:14:32.565 --> 01:14:36.985
So we'll just prescribe this medication and then that medication and then this one maybe.

1292
01:14:37.205 --> 01:14:39.365
And hopefully, we'll get the right cocktail and you'll feel better.

1293
01:14:39.365 --> 01:14:43.305
And you will because it's tweaking your neurotransmitters that are all tanked in the freeze response.

1294
01:14:43.630 --> 01:14:48.070
Sugar. You feel better, but you know darn well, for the most part, only 25%

1295
01:14:48.587 --> 01:14:52.870
Kick of it really it doesn't really work because it isn't a solution to the freeze response.

1296
01:14:53.090 --> 01:14:57.170
There is a solution to the freeze response, but it is not in a pharmaceutical form.

1297
01:14:57.170 --> 01:14:58.310
That can bridge you.

1298
01:14:58.815 --> 01:15:03.875
I'm not anti pharmaceutical, but let's just be clear what it can and can't do, and it cannot heal trauma.

1299
01:15:04.015 --> 01:15:04.975
It does not heal trauma.

1300
01:15:04.975 --> 01:15:09.475
In fact, it can actually damage mitochondria that can make you feel more tired,

1301
01:15:09.855 --> 01:15:13.555
make you have less energy. And when you have less energy, you have less capacity,

1302
01:15:13.935 --> 01:15:14.755
you're more easily

1303
01:15:15.190 --> 01:15:19.430
stressed, you're more easily overwhelmed, you're more likely to wind up in the freeze response.

1304
01:15:19.430 --> 01:15:20.970
So it can it can make it worse.

1305
01:15:21.590 --> 01:15:23.670
But I'm not saying one way or the other.

1306
01:15:23.670 --> 01:15:26.890
Like, lots and lots of people are on those pills, and if they're working for you, great.

1307
01:15:27.030 --> 01:15:30.090
But if you have functional freeze and if you have developmental trauma,

1308
01:15:30.425 --> 01:15:31.165
you know

1309
01:15:31.465 --> 01:15:34.045
you know it's not really bringing you

1310
01:15:34.505 --> 01:15:39.965
the resolution you're seeking for, the high energy, the joy, the the feeling of being able to connect to people.

1311
01:15:41.465 --> 01:15:41.965
So

1312
01:15:42.665 --> 01:15:43.165
here

1313
01:15:43.465 --> 01:15:43.965
is

1314
01:15:44.665 --> 01:15:45.165
where

1315
01:15:46.060 --> 01:15:49.440
this is all gonna start to make sense to you, I hope. So

1316
01:15:50.219 --> 01:15:51.199
when we understand

1317
01:15:51.659 --> 01:15:54.239
our food choices and behaviors through a somatic lens,

1318
01:15:55.020 --> 01:15:56.560
foods fall into three categories.

1319
01:15:57.260 --> 01:16:01.370
So I really wanna do a shout out to doctor Amy Apigian and Louise Mojica, and

1320
01:16:01.695 --> 01:16:04.034
and he credits another woman, Karen

1321
01:16:05.215 --> 01:16:05.715
Purd,

1322
01:16:06.094 --> 01:16:08.514
to really so I was aware of this,

1323
01:16:09.135 --> 01:16:10.514
but I I would say Louise

1324
01:16:10.974 --> 01:16:15.060
really helped me dial this in to really, really see this clearly. So shout out to Louise. Thank

1325
01:16:15.620 --> 01:16:19.320
you. So there are three categories of food, calming and grounding,

1326
01:16:20.260 --> 01:16:20.760
stimulating,

1327
01:16:21.700 --> 01:16:25.460
and sedating. And I I don't wanna just say through categories of food.

1328
01:16:25.460 --> 01:16:27.960
There are three categories of food choices and behaviors.

1329
01:16:28.500 --> 01:16:29.400
There's ways

1330
01:16:29.775 --> 01:16:32.595
we can behave with food, and there's foods that we can choose

1331
01:16:33.215 --> 01:16:35.715
that are either calming and grounding, stimulating, or sedating.

1332
01:16:36.335 --> 01:16:37.715
So the calming and grounding

1333
01:16:38.175 --> 01:16:39.155
are whole foods,

1334
01:16:40.335 --> 01:16:42.195
adequate nutrition, and consistent.

1335
01:16:43.320 --> 01:16:49.099
We have stable blood sugars. We're satiated without feeling like we got a buzz or a hit or something

1336
01:16:49.639 --> 01:16:50.619
without the sexy.

1337
01:16:51.239 --> 01:16:55.739
We're in tune with our hunger and fullness cues more or less. You know? We eat on a rhythm, and

1338
01:16:56.255 --> 01:16:58.994
we eat on a regular schedule. Our body feels safe

1339
01:17:00.574 --> 01:17:03.775
and steady with food. It's not anxious about being on a diet.

1340
01:17:03.775 --> 01:17:05.534
It's not anxious that we're gonna be fasting.

1341
01:17:05.534 --> 01:17:09.074
It's not anxious that we're going to be not that I'm opposed to fasting, but

1342
01:17:09.650 --> 01:17:12.950
there's a way that we can use it that actually just keeps us dysregulated.

1343
01:17:13.250 --> 01:17:16.070
There's a way that we can use it to heal, but there's

1344
01:17:16.530 --> 01:17:18.150
a way that it doesn't heal.

1345
01:17:19.250 --> 01:17:20.790
We are present while eating.

1346
01:17:21.665 --> 01:17:24.885
So all of that's very calming and grounding. It keeps us

1347
01:17:25.665 --> 01:17:26.965
in our window of capacity.

1348
01:17:28.545 --> 01:17:33.285
Or let's just call it the happy place. We're we're in a regulated nervous system. We stay regulated.

1349
01:17:33.345 --> 01:17:36.005
These are regulating choices, regulating behaviors.

1350
01:17:36.545 --> 01:17:39.270
It will get us there, and it will help us stay there.

1351
01:17:39.730 --> 01:17:43.090
But often, these only happen when we're already in a regulated state.

1352
01:17:43.090 --> 01:17:45.270
But if we force ourselves to do this

1353
01:17:45.810 --> 01:17:48.310
through recovery programs that suggest these behaviors

1354
01:17:48.610 --> 01:17:49.670
and these food choices,

1355
01:17:50.055 --> 01:17:52.875
they can be very calming and grounding, and they can help us

1356
01:17:53.335 --> 01:17:56.715
regulate a dysregulated nervous system, but it's not enough.

1357
01:17:58.295 --> 01:18:02.935
Then there's the stimulating cat category. So sugar, high sugar fruits, chocolate, caffeine. Right?

1358
01:18:02.935 --> 01:18:07.079
Those are the ones that will give us quick energy, a burst of intensity.

1359
01:18:07.219 --> 01:18:12.119
They'll start flowing adrenaline and cortisol and the form of the hormones of stress.

1360
01:18:12.260 --> 01:18:16.039
It supports fight or flight and it pushes us into a fight or flight state.

1361
01:18:16.395 --> 01:18:19.615
We are now dysregulated. The stimulating food are dysregulated.

1362
01:18:19.755 --> 01:18:24.415
Now if we're already dysregulated, we want the stimulating foods. Thank you very much.

1363
01:18:25.195 --> 01:18:29.355
And it's not because of dopamine, and it's not because they taste good, and it's not because I'm an addict.

1364
01:18:29.355 --> 01:18:32.370
It's because, for god's sake, my body thinks it's under threat

1365
01:18:32.770 --> 01:18:33.670
all the time,

1366
01:18:34.690 --> 01:18:38.630
and just give me the give me the good stuff that's gonna allow me to stay

1367
01:18:39.090 --> 01:18:41.350
mobilized so that I can survive

1368
01:18:42.210 --> 01:18:43.910
my my perception of threat.

1369
01:18:44.805 --> 01:18:47.705
It will be used to override fatigue and dissociation.

1370
01:18:48.085 --> 01:18:52.105
In other words, it will be used to get us out of the phrase response when we've collapsed.

1371
01:18:52.725 --> 01:18:58.485
And some of the food behaviors that are stimulating are fasting. Exercising while fasting is really

1372
01:18:59.570 --> 01:19:03.190
like, that's a double whammy good because you got the endorphins, you've got

1373
01:19:03.570 --> 01:19:04.630
the potential ketones,

1374
01:19:05.970 --> 01:19:10.070
adrenaline, cortisol, like, all that cocktail of very stimulating,

1375
01:19:11.810 --> 01:19:12.310
chemicals.

1376
01:19:13.065 --> 01:19:15.485
So some people will choose to skip meals

1377
01:19:15.865 --> 01:19:20.445
or fast or whatever because they're looking for stimulation in the morning.

1378
01:19:20.745 --> 01:19:24.825
They may have woken up exhausted because they've been in fight or flight all night.

1379
01:19:24.825 --> 01:19:26.045
They're not sleeping deeply.

1380
01:19:26.330 --> 01:19:29.450
So there no matter how many hours of sleep they get, they're still tired in the morning.

1381
01:19:29.450 --> 01:19:30.990
They're still in functional freeze.

1382
01:19:31.370 --> 01:19:39.390
So they might do things food behaviors in the morning that can try and squeeze out a little bit more energy so they can tackle their day.

1383
01:19:39.610 --> 01:19:43.895
Excess meat, excess salt can sometimes be stimulating for some bodies.

1384
01:19:44.195 --> 01:19:47.495
If you've ever heard of the meat sweats, I've never had them, but I've heard of them.

1385
01:19:48.595 --> 01:19:50.295
Eventually, that will create,

1386
01:19:51.635 --> 01:19:53.735
that will create an adrenaline response.

1387
01:19:54.275 --> 01:19:55.255
There's also

1388
01:19:56.310 --> 01:19:57.989
foods that we're allergic to.

1389
01:19:57.989 --> 01:20:01.510
And when we're allergic to and we eat them, there can be a histamine reaction.

1390
01:20:01.510 --> 01:20:05.670
There can be there can be sort of a bit of a fight or flight response there too.

1391
01:20:05.670 --> 01:20:08.730
So we might even choose to eat foods that we know we're not

1392
01:20:09.185 --> 01:20:12.725
supposed to eat or don't do well with or we're allergic to because

1393
01:20:13.425 --> 01:20:13.925
unconsciously,

1394
01:20:15.505 --> 01:20:16.005
unconsciously,

1395
01:20:16.785 --> 01:20:19.925
at the level of the nervous system, we are looking

1396
01:20:20.625 --> 01:20:22.885
to stay mobilized. We're looking to be stimulated.

1397
01:20:23.185 --> 01:20:24.885
And then there are the foods that are sedating.

1398
01:20:25.690 --> 01:20:26.989
Dairy, flour,

1399
01:20:27.690 --> 01:20:28.190
starch,

1400
01:20:28.889 --> 01:20:30.270
fat, salt combos,

1401
01:20:30.889 --> 01:20:32.590
pizza, Kraft dinner,

1402
01:20:33.449 --> 01:20:34.989
toast and butter,

1403
01:20:37.610 --> 01:20:40.510
potato chips, those types. Oh, don't worry.

1404
01:20:41.585 --> 01:20:42.405
What they

1405
01:20:42.864 --> 01:20:45.125
do what they do is mop up adrenaline.

1406
01:20:46.145 --> 01:20:47.284
They mop up cortisol.

1407
01:20:47.905 --> 01:20:49.685
They help bring us down.

1408
01:20:50.385 --> 01:20:55.045
They dull emotions and sensations. They mimic shutdown or collapse, or they create

1409
01:20:55.380 --> 01:20:58.679
a collapse. They actually drop us into the dorsal freeze response.

1410
01:20:59.219 --> 01:21:02.920
It's used to disconnect and dissociate from sensations in our body.

1411
01:21:03.300 --> 01:21:06.520
Dehydration. So some of the behaviors, dehydration can be sedating.

1412
01:21:07.685 --> 01:21:15.605
We can actually so if our body is trying to get us to slow down, it's trying to get clever and find other ways of getting us to just stop.

1413
01:21:15.605 --> 01:21:19.705
Would you just stop? These are some of the things it can it will use.

1414
01:21:20.180 --> 01:21:23.640
These are the food urges that have nothing to do with it. Well, not nothing.

1415
01:21:23.940 --> 01:21:27.240
They're overlapping, but separately from a different angle.

1416
01:21:28.020 --> 01:21:29.800
These are things that are

1417
01:21:30.180 --> 01:21:32.360
going to support the body to go dorsal,

1418
01:21:32.660 --> 01:21:34.680
to become a Vietnam dolled out.

1419
01:21:35.265 --> 01:21:37.205
Sure. There's a price. It's joyless,

1420
01:21:38.705 --> 01:21:40.725
but it's better than being overstimulated.

1421
01:21:42.465 --> 01:21:44.245
Volume eating, binge eating,

1422
01:21:45.425 --> 01:21:48.690
compulsive overeating, those are sedative behaviors

1423
01:21:49.090 --> 01:21:51.270
because all the blood goes to our belly,

1424
01:21:51.890 --> 01:21:54.310
drains from the rest. There's a calming effect.

1425
01:21:54.770 --> 01:21:55.670
It's just

1426
01:21:56.130 --> 01:21:59.350
our poor bodies are just trying to deal with this

1427
01:21:59.810 --> 01:22:01.750
underlying pattern of fear.

1428
01:22:02.370 --> 01:22:03.670
Fear. Fear. Fear.

1429
01:22:11.225 --> 01:22:13.405
I think it might be helpful to

1430
01:22:16.025 --> 01:22:20.130
tell you about how personally I really began to see this in my own life.

1431
01:22:20.130 --> 01:22:24.449
You may or may not know this about me, but I've struggled with migraines since the age of about three or four.

1432
01:22:24.449 --> 01:22:28.630
It was my mom's first memory of taking me to the doctor because I was complaining of of headaches.

1433
01:22:29.810 --> 01:22:36.145
And, I had them all throughout my elementary school, and they got really, really, really bad as I moved into my teen years.

1434
01:22:36.845 --> 01:22:37.345
And

1435
01:22:38.605 --> 01:22:42.465
I, over the years, have figured out what seems to trigger migraines for me.

1436
01:22:42.525 --> 01:22:46.750
Caffeine, sugar, chocolate, junk. Like, for sure those trigger migraines.

1437
01:22:46.750 --> 01:22:49.650
But I also figured out dehydration at some point too.

1438
01:22:50.270 --> 01:22:54.770
And that's a real classic one. Anyone who has migraines knows that's a a common one.

1439
01:22:55.150 --> 01:22:59.730
But every now and then, I would notice that I would lose my appetite to drink.

1440
01:22:59.955 --> 01:23:04.855
I would look at a glass of water, and I'd kinda be thirsty, but there'd be this aversion to drinking it.

1441
01:23:05.475 --> 01:23:06.295
And I think,

1442
01:23:06.835 --> 01:23:07.975
what's that about?

1443
01:23:09.235 --> 01:23:13.495
Quite that's so weird that why would I'm thirsty. Now I'm thinking about this. Just a moment.

1444
01:23:18.490 --> 01:23:22.570
Why would my body do that? Why would my body I'm running the risk.

1445
01:23:22.570 --> 01:23:26.810
If I don't keep up with water, I run the risk of a migraine, and that is hell on earth, let me tell you.

1446
01:23:26.810 --> 01:23:28.270
That is awful. They're

1447
01:23:28.805 --> 01:23:32.405
they're a form of torture. You might as well just put me in a medieval torture chamber.

1448
01:23:32.405 --> 01:23:33.785
That would probably be less,

1449
01:23:34.165 --> 01:23:35.385
you know, more pleasant.

1450
01:23:36.165 --> 01:23:36.665
But

1451
01:23:39.285 --> 01:23:40.345
I figured out

1452
01:23:41.920 --> 01:23:47.780
that if I slowly just sort of Kick of speakly, all unconsciously, not even really out, you know,

1453
01:23:48.640 --> 01:23:50.580
below my level of conscious awareness,

1454
01:23:51.120 --> 01:23:51.620
stop

1455
01:23:52.240 --> 01:23:53.220
drinking enough,

1456
01:23:53.825 --> 01:23:54.725
I'll get dehydrated.

1457
01:23:55.185 --> 01:23:58.645
When I get dehydrated, I'll get a migraine. When I get a migraine,

1458
01:24:00.145 --> 01:24:01.365
I'm in the freeze response.

1459
01:24:02.225 --> 01:24:08.030
It drops me into this. I have to stop. I don't stop. I still find ways of using medications to stay.

1460
01:24:08.170 --> 01:24:13.130
But for the most part, I understand that what my body is trying to do and I might not just be dehydration.

1461
01:24:13.130 --> 01:24:15.210
I might actually go and eat sugar. I might eat chocolate.

1462
01:24:15.210 --> 01:24:21.050
Like, why would anyone in their right mind knowing that it's gonna cause such unbelievable pain choose to do that?

1463
01:24:21.050 --> 01:24:21.550
Because

1464
01:24:22.615 --> 01:24:23.595
when the body

1465
01:24:23.975 --> 01:24:28.635
is trying to save my life from the the very damaging, overstimulating

1466
01:24:29.015 --> 01:24:30.075
hormones of stress,

1467
01:24:31.095 --> 01:24:33.515
it would rather I suffer with a migraine

1468
01:24:33.975 --> 01:24:36.555
than suffer with the damages of high cortisol.

1469
01:24:39.890 --> 01:24:40.950
Survival vetoes.

1470
01:24:41.650 --> 01:24:42.870
Survival trumps.

1471
01:24:43.490 --> 01:24:44.630
Survival wins.

1472
01:24:45.250 --> 01:24:46.630
And it becomes this battle.

1473
01:24:47.330 --> 01:24:49.830
Be like, what is going on? It's all unconscious.

1474
01:24:49.970 --> 01:24:54.565
This is why we need to talk talk and understand about the nervous system and the role it plays in our food.

1475
01:24:54.565 --> 01:24:59.465
So for you, you might be like, why do I keep coming back to these foods that well,

1476
01:25:00.005 --> 01:25:02.344
the question becomes, are you looking for stimulation,

1477
01:25:02.725 --> 01:25:04.185
or are you looking for sedation?

1478
01:25:04.680 --> 01:25:10.620
And when you understand that's what you're looking for, then you can do something differently about it a little more easily.

1479
01:25:12.600 --> 01:25:16.040
So there's two biological pathways. There's probably more.

1480
01:25:16.040 --> 01:25:18.620
I'm sure we'll discover more, but there are at least two

1481
01:25:19.155 --> 01:25:19.655
distinct

1482
01:25:20.035 --> 01:25:22.615
biological pathways that drive the use and abuse of food,

1483
01:25:23.235 --> 01:25:23.735
that

1484
01:25:24.195 --> 01:25:29.175
drive our so called self harming, unwanted, frustrating food choices and food behaviors.

1485
01:25:30.035 --> 01:25:35.370
We often think of food addiction as being primarily or exclusively driven by the brain's reward system.

1486
01:25:35.370 --> 01:25:36.190
Pretty interesting.

1487
01:25:36.730 --> 01:25:37.230
Oops.

1488
01:25:37.690 --> 01:25:39.950
Valentina, could you mute everybody for me?

1489
01:25:40.810 --> 01:25:43.630
We often think of food addiction as being about the brain

1490
01:25:44.090 --> 01:25:46.350
and its reward Christophers, about dopamine,

1491
01:25:47.645 --> 01:25:52.465
about cravings and withdrawal symptoms and adaptation and Florence. That's

1492
01:25:53.165 --> 01:25:54.705
you know, it's a brain disease.

1493
01:25:55.245 --> 01:25:55.905
It's true.

1494
01:25:57.085 --> 01:25:59.344
That is true. That is a very real

1495
01:26:00.420 --> 01:26:03.880
condition. That is how addiction works. That is what addiction is.

1496
01:26:04.260 --> 01:26:08.500
But there's another pathway at work in a traumatized or dysregulated nervous system.

1497
01:26:08.500 --> 01:26:12.180
There could be another pathway. Not everybody has a dysregulated nervous system.

1498
01:26:12.180 --> 01:26:18.425
Or sometimes they're dysregulated, but they they know what it's like to come back to home base, back to the happy place.

1499
01:26:19.205 --> 01:26:21.465
The breast digest repair, detox,

1500
01:26:22.405 --> 01:26:22.905
homeostasis,

1501
01:26:23.765 --> 01:26:25.145
where all is well.

1502
01:26:26.580 --> 01:26:33.000
Those people who have a regulated nervous Christophers, they developed a more or less regulated nervous system in childhood.

1503
01:26:34.099 --> 01:26:34.599
They

1504
01:26:34.900 --> 01:26:36.420
will be able to come back to that.

1505
01:26:36.420 --> 01:26:43.295
For those of us we didn't wire up that way to begin with, we don't have that to come back to, but, of course, it's always there and it can be restored

1506
01:26:43.675 --> 01:26:47.848
and in a beautiful way. Like, it actually becomes quite pleasurable Florence

1507
01:26:47.915 --> 01:26:51.594
we understand what the trauma recovery tools are versus the addiction recovery tools.

1508
01:26:51.594 --> 01:26:52.895
It can become a very,

1509
01:26:53.840 --> 01:26:57.679
beautiful process because we're learning to self regulate. Which is what's self regulation?

1510
01:26:57.679 --> 01:26:58.659
It's self connection.

1511
01:26:59.360 --> 01:27:00.099
It's flowing,

1512
01:27:01.119 --> 01:27:01.619
kindness,

1513
01:27:01.920 --> 01:27:02.980
love, presence,

1514
01:27:03.360 --> 01:27:05.780
support, good feelings to ourselves,

1515
01:27:06.320 --> 01:27:07.300
which we're always

1516
01:27:08.445 --> 01:27:10.945
always supposed to have learned how to do.

1517
01:27:11.325 --> 01:27:12.705
And then, you know, that

1518
01:27:13.885 --> 01:27:18.385
little baby process of learning self love can start to get hold. And then one day,

1519
01:27:19.325 --> 01:27:20.145
you're like,

1520
01:27:21.280 --> 01:27:21.780
wow.

1521
01:27:22.320 --> 01:27:25.440
It's pretty unbearable being in a dysregulated nervous system state.

1522
01:27:25.440 --> 01:27:31.920
I never never never really I wanna really minimize the times I'm in a dysregulated nervous system state because this is heaven on earth.

1523
01:27:31.920 --> 01:27:34.645
I love being here, and there's no way to get back there.

1524
01:27:34.645 --> 01:27:40.565
There's just no way to get back to a regulated nervous system without learning how to coregulate and self regulate.

1525
01:27:40.565 --> 01:27:46.745
But I think for many of us, it starts with self regulation, which is why the somatic tools are so helpful because

1526
01:27:47.285 --> 01:27:48.344
people can be

1527
01:27:49.580 --> 01:27:51.440
threatening. They can be overwhelming.

1528
01:27:51.740 --> 01:27:55.920
Even if they're good people and they like us and we like them, it can still

1529
01:27:56.300 --> 01:27:56.960
be too

1530
01:27:57.340 --> 01:28:02.240
much for a dysregulated nervous system, especially when we're in freeze or functional freeze. So

1531
01:28:03.315 --> 01:28:05.175
there's another pathway at work here.

1532
01:28:06.115 --> 01:28:10.295
The body uses food to regulate stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol,

1533
01:28:11.155 --> 01:28:15.815
and eating becomes a way to manage those stress hormones to to manage activation.

1534
01:28:15.875 --> 01:28:18.455
So we're either looking to speed it up, to stay mobilized,

1535
01:28:20.060 --> 01:28:23.360
jack up the hormones of stress using food and food behaviors,

1536
01:28:23.660 --> 01:28:27.440
or to slow it down, to drop, to mop up some of the adrenaline cortisol.

1537
01:28:27.980 --> 01:28:32.640
So it's less about the pleasure. It's less about euphoric recall. It's less about,

1538
01:28:33.895 --> 01:28:36.855
you know, the actual brain pathway addiction.

1539
01:28:36.855 --> 01:28:40.475
So you can relapse simply because of addiction, hundred percent.

1540
01:28:41.495 --> 01:28:46.555
That's especially true in the early days of recovery when it's still in your bloodstream and there's still

1541
01:28:46.940 --> 01:28:55.500
your body hasn't learned how good it feels on whole foods and to be eating in peaceful present ways with adequate nutrition and how good it feels on that.

1542
01:28:55.500 --> 01:29:00.800
Right? So after that, you've had a long enough stretch off of these whole foods. That pathway

1543
01:29:02.705 --> 01:29:03.445
is not

1544
01:29:03.985 --> 01:29:08.225
the number one I don't believe. This is my hypothesis. You're not gonna read this in the book.

1545
01:29:08.225 --> 01:29:10.225
You're not you're not gonna find this anywhere out there.

1546
01:29:10.225 --> 01:29:12.485
I've never heard anyone talk about this this way.

1547
01:29:12.865 --> 01:29:15.845
So I don't even know if I'm right. This is my working hypothesis.

1548
01:29:16.290 --> 01:29:22.950
My working hypothesis is that after we've had long stretches of food recovery, we've been eating whole foods, we've learned to feel good.

1549
01:29:23.010 --> 01:29:26.070
And if we're going back to the foods, we're relapsing,

1550
01:29:26.450 --> 01:29:27.350
there's probably

1551
01:29:28.050 --> 01:29:30.070
this pathway in in play.

1552
01:29:30.725 --> 01:29:36.105
So it's it's less about pleasure and more about staying in fight, flight, bond, and freeze.

1553
01:29:37.765 --> 01:29:42.025
And it's about a body that's trying to deal with a chronic underlying

1554
01:29:43.045 --> 01:29:43.545
fear,

1555
01:29:44.780 --> 01:29:49.440
and it needs help. It's it needs help because there is no self regulation or sufficient

1556
01:29:50.220 --> 01:29:52.640
or consistent self regulation or coregulation.

1557
01:29:53.340 --> 01:29:58.000
We have recreated the pattern from our childhood in our adulthood. It's still running.

1558
01:29:58.755 --> 01:30:03.575
It's still running, and it's gonna continue to run until we do the trauma recovery work.

1559
01:30:04.035 --> 01:30:07.655
So abstinence works well for addressing the brain reward pathway.

1560
01:30:07.795 --> 01:30:12.435
It removes the addictive substances, sugar flowers, sweeteners, alcohol, processed ultra processed foods.

1561
01:30:12.435 --> 01:30:17.960
That's kind of like the that's kinda like the gold standard of what is recommended in food addiction recovery programs.

1562
01:30:18.260 --> 01:30:26.545
And back let me just take a moment to pause how profound it was for us to understand that sugar flower sweeteners and all alcohol and all well, not alcohol.

1563
01:30:26.545 --> 01:30:28.725
Sugar flour ultra processed foods are addictive.

1564
01:30:29.185 --> 01:30:34.145
Like, back in the day when people were compulsively overeating and they were gaining weight and they're frustrated and they're like, oh, I can't get this.

1565
01:30:34.145 --> 01:30:37.985
I don't know what's wrong with me. And then someone had their eureka moment. Hey. Wait a minute.

1566
01:30:37.985 --> 01:30:40.725
Could sugar and flour be addictive like drugs and alcohol?

1567
01:30:41.730 --> 01:30:49.030
And when that light bulb went on in the human brain and they started to form these food addiction recovery programs that taught the concept of abstinence,

1568
01:30:49.730 --> 01:30:51.430
like, that is seismic.

1569
01:30:52.610 --> 01:30:54.790
That's so freaking profound.

1570
01:30:56.050 --> 01:30:56.550
And

1571
01:30:57.515 --> 01:31:00.735
wouldn't you know decades down the road, we'll realize it's not enough.

1572
01:31:00.875 --> 01:31:02.815
So, oh, it's enough from lots of people.

1573
01:31:03.355 --> 01:31:08.335
That's all they need. They realize, oh, these substances are hijacking my brain.

1574
01:31:08.395 --> 01:31:11.275
They're addictive to my body and my brain. So I just

1575
01:31:12.210 --> 01:31:13.190
if I don't eat

1576
01:31:13.730 --> 01:31:14.870
them, problem solved.

1577
01:31:15.570 --> 01:31:16.070
Addiction

1578
01:31:16.370 --> 01:31:17.350
goes into remission

1579
01:31:17.730 --> 01:31:18.630
without abstinence.

1580
01:31:19.650 --> 01:31:22.469
So simple. It's not hard. It's really not hard.

1581
01:31:22.530 --> 01:31:26.530
You give yourself thirty days, Kick days, ninety days on the whole foods. You start to feel better.

1582
01:31:26.530 --> 01:31:28.335
You're like, why would I ever go back? You wouldn't.

1583
01:31:29.114 --> 01:31:35.375
And it's not I'm gonna make the I'm making the case that it's not just because of the addictive pull, the euphoric recall,

1584
01:31:35.994 --> 01:31:36.494
dopamine,

1585
01:31:37.434 --> 01:31:42.335
all the brain. If there is another pathway that's pulling us Kick. For some of us,

1586
01:31:42.670 --> 01:31:43.949
sometimes it's just the addiction.

1587
01:31:43.949 --> 01:31:47.969
We've had a cue or a trigger or a smell or socializing in their memories or whatever.

1588
01:31:48.190 --> 01:31:51.409
That's the brain reward pathway relapse.

1589
01:31:51.789 --> 01:31:53.250
But there's another pathway.

1590
01:31:54.349 --> 01:32:03.005
And as I've said, it's about boosting adrenaline and cortisol to stay mobilized or it's about mopping up those chemicals so that we can drop into the dorsal free state.

1591
01:32:04.505 --> 01:32:09.000
In other words, we may relapse for more than one reason. That is not just about addiction.

1592
01:32:09.140 --> 01:32:12.280
Abstinence works for substance related reasons,

1593
01:32:12.660 --> 01:32:16.340
but it does not heal a dysregulated nervous system. It does not heal trauma.

1594
01:32:16.340 --> 01:32:19.880
It does not restore a sense of safety to the body. In fact, it can make it worse,

1595
01:32:20.315 --> 01:32:27.375
and it does not regulate the nervous system unless the addiction, the substances themselves was the main thing that was disregulating us.

1596
01:32:28.395 --> 01:32:28.895
Sugar

1597
01:32:29.514 --> 01:32:30.014
is

1598
01:32:30.315 --> 01:32:32.094
a form of trauma to the body.

1599
01:32:32.400 --> 01:32:40.719
And if you remove it and your trauma the trauma from the sugar disappears and you're left with a regulated nervous system, you're gonna be one of those people that we all compare ourselves to.

1600
01:32:40.719 --> 01:32:42.820
Well, how come they get how come

1601
01:32:43.440 --> 01:32:44.800
how come they make it look easy?

1602
01:32:44.800 --> 01:32:48.235
How come they get to have three years, five years, ten years of back to back abstinence?

1603
01:32:48.235 --> 01:32:50.575
So the longest I've ever gone was four and a half years.

1604
01:32:50.955 --> 01:32:55.295
I didn't think I would ever gonna lose it. But when I went back and I relapsed,

1605
01:32:55.835 --> 01:33:00.815
it was then that I realized all these years, I was just thinking, oh, there was just the one pathway.

1606
01:33:01.330 --> 01:33:05.590
As long as I was abstinent, I was putting my addiction into remission, but I wasn't understanding

1607
01:33:06.290 --> 01:33:09.590
that when I reached a certain level of activation, my body

1608
01:33:10.449 --> 01:33:13.350
needed to turn to, you know, to go back to the food

1609
01:33:14.675 --> 01:33:16.775
because it it was reliable. It works.

1610
01:33:17.715 --> 01:33:20.935
So if a dysregulated nervous system is our core problem,

1611
01:33:21.395 --> 01:33:25.895
then we need more tools. We need different tools. We need trauma informed tools,

1612
01:33:26.275 --> 01:33:28.775
tools that specifically work with the nervous system.

1613
01:33:30.100 --> 01:33:32.120
Okay. How are we doing for time here?

1614
01:33:33.300 --> 01:33:34.520
Oh, we're doing horrible.

1615
01:33:36.260 --> 01:33:37.960
We're doing horrible. Okay.

1616
01:33:38.660 --> 01:33:39.160
So,

1617
01:33:41.780 --> 01:33:44.200
let me be let me I just wanna,

1618
01:33:45.645 --> 01:33:48.625
oh, gosh. I'm just gonna keep going. If you guys have to go, I totally understand.

1619
01:33:48.764 --> 01:33:53.105
The the call will be recorded. So I'm in favor of abstinence because sugar is traumatizing.

1620
01:33:53.324 --> 01:33:56.864
I want to be clear that I believe in abstinence. I believe

1621
01:33:57.500 --> 01:34:00.320
that that addiction is a brain neuro neurophysiological

1622
01:34:00.860 --> 01:34:01.360
condition

1623
01:34:02.699 --> 01:34:03.840
and that

1624
01:34:05.660 --> 01:34:12.219
abstinence, for lots of reasons, not just to put your addiction into remission, but because it's so much better for the body just to be eating whole foods.

1625
01:34:12.219 --> 01:34:14.195
Like, I'm in favor of abstinence.

1626
01:34:15.614 --> 01:34:19.875
But I don't necessarily believe that people with a dysregulated nervous system

1627
01:34:21.455 --> 01:34:22.594
have to start there.

1628
01:34:23.054 --> 01:34:27.840
You know, what they this is what they aspire to. That there there can be a harm reduction approach

1629
01:34:40.480 --> 01:34:40.980
possible.

1630
01:34:42.495 --> 01:34:43.695
100% possible.

1631
01:34:43.695 --> 01:34:49.614
Now the people many, many, many thought leaders in the food addiction recovery world would say that's not possible.

1632
01:34:49.614 --> 01:34:50.514
It's a neurophysiological

1633
01:34:51.135 --> 01:34:52.835
condition. It never repairs itself.

1634
01:34:53.215 --> 01:34:53.715
Mhmm.

1635
01:34:54.510 --> 01:34:54.830
True.

1636
01:34:54.830 --> 01:34:59.490
When you're when you're in a chronically dysregulated nervous system, but when someone becomes regulated,

1637
01:35:00.430 --> 01:35:03.490
they can figure out, were they using and abusing sugar

1638
01:35:04.350 --> 01:35:06.930
and ultra processed foods because of the addiction,

1639
01:35:07.310 --> 01:35:09.170
or was it actually their nervous system?

1640
01:35:09.635 --> 01:35:11.735
And when their nervous system repairs,

1641
01:35:12.515 --> 01:35:14.375
now what happens when they eat sugar?

1642
01:35:14.835 --> 01:35:15.495
And there's

1643
01:35:15.795 --> 01:35:16.455
a growing,

1644
01:35:17.715 --> 01:35:20.135
number of people who are saying, it just

1645
01:35:20.995 --> 01:35:24.790
it just isn't appealing. Like, I might have a little, and it doesn't hijack me.

1646
01:35:24.790 --> 01:35:27.370
I don't have these massive cravings. It becomes a nonissue.

1647
01:35:28.390 --> 01:35:32.330
I'm thinking of Luis Mojica. I've done a couple interviews with him where he's talked about

1648
01:35:33.110 --> 01:35:33.830
how it just

1649
01:35:35.165 --> 01:35:36.625
there's just no pull.

1650
01:35:39.005 --> 01:35:41.344
And he's not naive about this. I mean, he's going

1651
01:35:41.645 --> 01:35:47.340
decades he's years and years of peace with food, of being at a go away, to being healthy, being regulated.

1652
01:35:47.820 --> 01:35:48.860
And there's so many others.

1653
01:35:48.860 --> 01:35:51.760
I'm doing a whole Summit on this called women, food, and trauma, and I'm interviewing

1654
01:35:52.060 --> 01:35:53.440
tons and tons of people

1655
01:35:53.820 --> 01:35:56.560
that are talking about when you're in a regulated state,

1656
01:35:57.020 --> 01:36:01.520
you don't wanna go back to the foods that dysregulate you because it's so pleasant

1657
01:36:02.165 --> 01:36:05.225
to be regulated that there's a physical aversion

1658
01:36:06.005 --> 01:36:08.585
to doing something that dysregulates you again.

1659
01:36:10.645 --> 01:36:12.805
That's pretty pretty cool. I've experienced that. So

1660
01:36:16.750 --> 01:36:19.250
but I wanna sort of talk about abstinence

1661
01:36:19.710 --> 01:36:21.730
as a way of working and supporting

1662
01:36:22.190 --> 01:36:27.330
a traumatized body because sugar is too much too fast. It's so highly concentrated.

1663
01:36:27.550 --> 01:36:29.330
It's as concentrated as heroin.

1664
01:36:29.705 --> 01:36:34.285
It comes into the body, and lots of ultra processed foods are so processed, so concentrated.

1665
01:36:34.745 --> 01:36:37.405
It's too much too fast for the body.

1666
01:36:38.025 --> 01:36:39.805
And what's that? That's called overwhelm.

1667
01:36:40.185 --> 01:36:41.085
What is overwhelm?

1668
01:36:41.465 --> 01:36:42.685
Overwhelm is trauma.

1669
01:36:43.540 --> 01:36:45.480
It overwhelms the body.

1670
01:36:45.940 --> 01:36:51.960
So when we are internally overwhelmed, our pancreas is overwhelmed, our liver is overwhelmed, our brain is overwhelmed,

1671
01:36:54.420 --> 01:36:55.960
our kidneys are overwhelmed,

1672
01:36:56.425 --> 01:36:59.805
Our intestinal tract is potentially overwhelmed if we're binging it.

1673
01:37:00.025 --> 01:37:02.045
The whole freaking system is inflamed,

1674
01:37:03.625 --> 01:37:04.925
and it's overwhelmed.

1675
01:37:05.385 --> 01:37:08.845
And it becomes overwhelmed because sugar crowds out nutrition,

1676
01:37:10.260 --> 01:37:11.079
all the good

1677
01:37:11.460 --> 01:37:14.820
nutrients that we need. So there's less of that and more of the crap.

1678
01:37:14.820 --> 01:37:16.440
The whole body becomes overwhelmed.

1679
01:37:17.059 --> 01:37:18.199
And then that

1680
01:37:19.380 --> 01:37:22.995
lack of internal sense of I'm resourced. I'm strong. I have enough protein.

1681
01:37:22.995 --> 01:37:27.735
I have enough amino acids, b vitamins, whatever it needs to feel like it has a very wide

1682
01:37:28.195 --> 01:37:29.094
window of tolerance,

1683
01:37:29.715 --> 01:37:31.415
a a high stress resiliency.

1684
01:37:32.275 --> 01:37:37.170
You have a low resiliency when you don't have the internal resources you need to meet stress in the outside world.

1685
01:37:37.170 --> 01:37:41.030
So when your internal resources are compromised, you're overwhelmed on the inside,

1686
01:37:41.730 --> 01:37:46.449
you're under resourced on the inside, everything out there is gonna be overwhelming and traumatic.

1687
01:37:46.449 --> 01:37:46.949
Right?

1688
01:37:48.210 --> 01:37:53.265
So internal overwhelm makes us us less able to deal with external stressors. They stress us out.

1689
01:37:53.265 --> 01:37:57.765
We drop into freeze. So now our internal trauma has made external traumas

1690
01:37:58.545 --> 01:38:03.025
things and like, our shoelace feel like a trauma. It shouldn't feel like a trauma ever.

1691
01:38:03.025 --> 01:38:04.405
But unless you understand,

1692
01:38:06.050 --> 01:38:09.410
like, you've lived what I'm talking about, like, you have a dysregulated nervous system.

1693
01:38:09.410 --> 01:38:12.230
You know what functional freeze is. You know what freeze state is.

1694
01:38:13.730 --> 01:38:18.470
That makes no sense to anybody else, but it makes sense to us. And sugar

1695
01:38:18.935 --> 01:38:22.315
has been such a huge piece of shrinking our window,

1696
01:38:22.775 --> 01:38:24.235
reducing our stress resiliency.

1697
01:38:25.975 --> 01:38:32.875
People who have lots of capacity inside have a lot of capacity for stress on the outside, and they can make

1698
01:38:33.410 --> 01:38:37.590
things look easy. Like, oh, I'm dealing with that and this and that and you know?

1699
01:38:38.210 --> 01:38:38.710
So

1700
01:38:39.730 --> 01:38:46.150
if you have a traumatized, dysregulated nervous system, the last freaking thing we wanna do is put sugar in our bodies.

1701
01:38:46.690 --> 01:38:47.190
And,

1702
01:38:48.345 --> 01:38:50.125
yet, that might be exactly

1703
01:38:50.425 --> 01:38:51.725
what we do for a while

1704
01:38:52.025 --> 01:38:55.405
until we understand what we need to do to get regulated,

1705
01:38:56.345 --> 01:38:57.885
to start to turn this around.

1706
01:38:58.985 --> 01:39:02.045
So overwhelm gets more overwhelmed. Once you're traumatized,

1707
01:39:03.800 --> 01:39:07.560
you can be more easily traumatized. Once you're overwhelmed, you can be easily overwhelmed. Same.

1708
01:39:07.560 --> 01:39:08.940
Right? Those words are interchangeable.

1709
01:39:09.400 --> 01:39:18.220
And here's the great, great, great heartbreak of this all for me, which is what drives my work, is what keeps me doing this, is that I know that each generation is more impacted

1710
01:39:19.455 --> 01:39:21.074
by by sugar. So

1711
01:39:22.255 --> 01:39:23.474
their bodies are becoming

1712
01:39:23.855 --> 01:39:25.474
less robust, less

1713
01:39:26.335 --> 01:39:27.074
their mitochondria,

1714
01:39:27.775 --> 01:39:30.114
their their nutritional reserves,

1715
01:39:30.415 --> 01:39:37.100
their brain chemistry, like all of it, their hormones, all of it are being they're just less healthy generation over generation.

1716
01:39:37.880 --> 01:39:38.380
So

1717
01:39:39.960 --> 01:39:45.020
that means they have less capacity, which means they're more easily stressed and more easily overwhelmed.

1718
01:39:45.239 --> 01:39:48.460
And if they drop into the freeze response and they're on the spectrum,

1719
01:39:50.025 --> 01:39:51.245
that is an antisocial

1720
01:39:51.865 --> 01:39:52.365
state

1721
01:39:52.825 --> 01:39:55.725
across the spectrum. You might be able to a little bit of connection,

1722
01:39:56.025 --> 01:39:58.045
but for the most part, not so much.

1723
01:39:58.505 --> 01:40:00.205
What does that sound like to you?

1724
01:40:01.305 --> 01:40:02.605
That's that's autism.

1725
01:40:03.810 --> 01:40:07.010
That's what autism that's what Asperger's is. That's what that spectrum is.

1726
01:40:07.010 --> 01:40:15.429
That's that is a children are being more born with that because they have a nervous system that is not able to socially connect because inside

1727
01:40:16.385 --> 01:40:20.705
they're overwhelmed. They do not have the internal resources, the nutrition they need.

1728
01:40:20.705 --> 01:40:22.324
We are damaging children,

1729
01:40:22.864 --> 01:40:23.765
future generations.

1730
01:40:24.225 --> 01:40:29.285
Each generation, it gets worse. So you know how there's something called FASD, fetal alcohol,

1731
01:40:30.145 --> 01:40:31.125
spectrum disorder?

1732
01:40:32.850 --> 01:40:35.190
This doesn't exist, but I hope one day

1733
01:40:35.730 --> 01:40:37.990
that we'll start talking about SASD,

1734
01:40:40.850 --> 01:40:44.570
sugar or a fetal alcohol. So sorry. I haven't got the right acronym.

1735
01:40:44.570 --> 01:40:49.165
It should be fetal sugar spectrum disorder. It should be FSSB. Sorry.

1736
01:40:49.545 --> 01:40:52.925
Sugar affected anyways, whatever. I don't know what I was doing there. But

1737
01:40:53.865 --> 01:40:56.325
children are being equally damaged by Sugar.

1738
01:40:57.465 --> 01:40:57.965
Slower,

1739
01:40:58.265 --> 01:41:03.245
more subtle, sure, than alcohol. But alcohol Sugar, sugar, like right? They're both damaging.

1740
01:41:03.305 --> 01:41:07.300
Let's Let's just be really clear about that. So we need to understand

1741
01:41:08.480 --> 01:41:10.180
that if a child

1742
01:41:11.360 --> 01:41:12.740
is being born

1743
01:41:13.280 --> 01:41:15.615
with a body that's been damaged by sugar

1744
01:41:16.095 --> 01:41:19.235
or is more Kick or is damaged by sugar,

1745
01:41:20.415 --> 01:41:21.795
pardon me, early in life

1746
01:41:23.615 --> 01:41:25.795
or anywhere along, you know, their childhood,

1747
01:41:26.175 --> 01:41:28.355
and they are unable to socially.

1748
01:41:30.030 --> 01:41:33.329
Unable, that might be a strong word. Like, they have a compromised

1749
01:41:33.710 --> 01:41:36.290
capacity to socially attach and bond.

1750
01:41:37.070 --> 01:41:39.250
They wind up with an insecure attachment.

1751
01:41:39.310 --> 01:41:43.250
Their loving mother is there smiling at, and the baby can't take it in

1752
01:41:44.265 --> 01:41:47.485
because they're in a solitary defense state or they're shut down,

1753
01:41:48.025 --> 01:41:48.505
you can't

1754
01:41:49.864 --> 01:41:54.105
they can't socially connect. They can't activate the ventral vagal because the dorsal's on.

1755
01:41:54.105 --> 01:41:58.925
And the dorsal's like, I need this to be on because I'm I'm, you know, I'm surviving here and survival trumps

1756
01:41:59.600 --> 01:42:02.580
anything else, having tea or or a cuddle with your mom,

1757
01:42:04.640 --> 01:42:06.580
then they're going to grow

1758
01:42:08.080 --> 01:42:10.180
up with a nervous system that develops

1759
01:42:10.800 --> 01:42:14.324
developmental trauma. They're gonna grow up with what's called CPTSD,

1760
01:42:14.705 --> 01:42:17.364
chronic or childhood post traumatic stress disorder.

1761
01:42:17.744 --> 01:42:21.284
And I think there is a boatload of us with this with this situation.

1762
01:42:21.744 --> 01:42:24.485
And we are relapsing and we are struggling with food,

1763
01:42:25.210 --> 01:42:31.210
not because we're a 10 out of 10 on the addiction spectrum, we might be, but because this is in play.

1764
01:42:32.329 --> 01:42:36.650
We we're not we're we keep thinking, I just need to try harder. I just need to get day

1765
01:42:37.210 --> 01:42:40.270
back at day one. Like, that's not helpful. It's not

1766
01:42:40.625 --> 01:42:42.565
helpful for a traumatized nervous system.

1767
01:42:45.105 --> 01:42:49.364
K. Trauma complication number one. A traumatized body is easily stressed and overwhelmed.

1768
01:42:49.425 --> 01:42:52.485
We've covered that. Why does that complicate food recovery?

1769
01:42:53.425 --> 01:42:53.925
Because,

1770
01:42:55.600 --> 01:42:56.580
well, you understand

1771
01:42:56.960 --> 01:43:02.500
when when survive when you're trying to overcome a threat the the running away from the tiger trumps everything.

1772
01:43:03.120 --> 01:43:03.620
Everything.

1773
01:43:04.239 --> 01:43:08.500
Right? So if your body thinks it's trying to stay alive, to survive,

1774
01:43:09.200 --> 01:43:10.340
it's going to

1775
01:43:11.815 --> 01:43:16.055
it's going to work against your cute little ideas of not eating sugar anymore.

1776
01:43:16.055 --> 01:43:18.075
It's gonna be like, f that.

1777
01:43:18.535 --> 01:43:23.195
Go get the damn sugar. If you want me to keep if you I see that to do list that you've got there.

1778
01:43:23.750 --> 01:43:28.170
I I know exactly what ambitions you have for the rest of this now. I'm tired now.

1779
01:43:29.030 --> 01:43:32.630
I'm tired now. I wanna go to bed now. I wanna go relax. I wanna read a book. I wanna have a bath.

1780
01:43:32.630 --> 01:43:35.270
I wanna go something fun or relaxing. And you're telling me, no.

1781
01:43:35.270 --> 01:43:39.885
We can't go to bed till the dishes are done and the laundry's put away. Well, then here's the deal.

1782
01:43:39.885 --> 01:43:42.145
If you have the ambitions of staying mobilized,

1783
01:43:42.525 --> 01:43:43.344
then you better

1784
01:43:43.724 --> 01:43:44.784
cough up the sugar.

1785
01:43:45.804 --> 01:43:46.705
Give it to me.

1786
01:43:47.085 --> 01:43:47.585
Or

1787
01:43:48.605 --> 01:43:49.344
the opposite.

1788
01:43:49.565 --> 01:43:55.030
We run on sugar and adrenaline and coffee and caffeine and maybe we fast through the day or whatever we're doing.

1789
01:43:55.030 --> 01:43:58.949
We stay adrenaline, cortisol. We stay activated, sympathetic, mobilized during the day.

1790
01:43:58.949 --> 01:44:01.770
And then we come home at night and we're freaking exhausted.

1791
01:44:02.150 --> 01:44:05.670
We've over you know, we haven't stayed within the capacity of our nervous system.

1792
01:44:05.670 --> 01:44:10.005
We don't even freaking know what that means. And we come home and there's this dorsal

1793
01:44:10.545 --> 01:44:12.965
collapse. We don't even realize how tired we are.

1794
01:44:13.105 --> 01:44:18.485
And then as our body starts to drop into the freeze response, which is pretty joyless, despairing,

1795
01:44:19.105 --> 01:44:20.405
not pleasant state,

1796
01:44:21.420 --> 01:44:26.080
we panic. We're like, oh, no. I'm getting depressed. I hate this feeling. All unconscious,

1797
01:44:27.100 --> 01:44:29.440
and we go and we go hit the we hit the ice cream

1798
01:44:30.060 --> 01:44:33.680
because the the sugar has a little bit of a lift. It'll that's the addiction.

1799
01:44:33.980 --> 01:44:36.400
The sugar will give our brain the pleasure,

1800
01:44:37.715 --> 01:44:38.454
the endorphins.

1801
01:44:38.994 --> 01:44:42.855
Right? That nice little opiate effect take the edge off pain,

1802
01:44:43.235 --> 01:44:46.054
and the dairy can mop up some of the adrenaline.

1803
01:44:47.554 --> 01:44:52.835
And so we sort of we collapse at night, and we get into the more sort of sedated foods at night.

1804
01:44:52.835 --> 01:44:53.790
That's the pattern.

1805
01:44:54.889 --> 01:44:56.110
It's the pattern we're in.

1806
01:44:56.730 --> 01:44:57.870
And that works against

1807
01:44:58.250 --> 01:44:59.230
addiction recovery.

1808
01:45:03.690 --> 01:45:07.070
Trauma complication number two. Trauma shows up as resistance and rebellion.

1809
01:45:08.445 --> 01:45:12.865
So we all know we have resistance and rebellion. We talk about our inner rebel. We talk about

1810
01:45:14.445 --> 01:45:18.285
we can feel it. We can feel it in our bodies when we intend to do something.

1811
01:45:18.285 --> 01:45:20.945
I sometimes when I go to drink water, I feel this resistance,

1812
01:45:21.450 --> 01:45:24.110
and I have to go, oh, isn't that interesting?

1813
01:45:25.290 --> 01:45:27.150
Isn't that interesting? My body,

1814
01:45:27.530 --> 01:45:32.590
sneaky, but I'm onto it now. I'm conscious. I'm aware. I know what's happening here. My body,

1815
01:45:32.970 --> 01:45:36.855
something is making it feel like there's too much. It's overwhelmed.

1816
01:45:38.835 --> 01:45:43.155
It needs something. It needs a break. It needs a walk. I need to take something off my to do list.

1817
01:45:43.155 --> 01:45:47.094
I need to ask for help, something like that. But I know now to queue,

1818
01:45:48.890 --> 01:45:50.330
and this is we downstream.

1819
01:45:50.330 --> 01:45:54.990
I'm not even asking the question, am I looking for stimulation or sedation right now? I'm asking,

1820
01:45:55.850 --> 01:45:57.470
what are the downstream effects

1821
01:45:57.930 --> 01:46:02.110
of this resistance to doing something like staying hydrated? It's the freeze response.

1822
01:46:02.465 --> 01:46:05.445
And if my body's wanting the freeze response, it's telling

1823
01:46:06.385 --> 01:46:07.844
me there's too much activation.

1824
01:46:08.625 --> 01:46:12.724
And then I need to, you know, that I need to use my too much activation tools.

1825
01:46:13.184 --> 01:46:17.600
And abstinence is not one of them. I'm not saying don't use it. No. Don't be abstinent.

1826
01:46:17.600 --> 01:46:20.500
I'm perfectly abstinent right now, completely peaceful with my food,

1827
01:46:21.120 --> 01:46:21.620
but

1828
01:46:22.880 --> 01:46:27.780
that's not what's that's not what the body that's that's very nice. Very good. Keep that. Wonderful.

1829
01:46:27.840 --> 01:46:31.315
Build on that. But it that is not gonna shift my nervous system.

1830
01:46:31.855 --> 01:46:34.575
Unresolved trauma. So it shows up as resistance in rebellion.

1831
01:46:34.575 --> 01:46:45.460
So unresolved trauma in the body can show up as resistance to food addiction recovery, not because we don't want to, we're not willing, or we haven't hit bottom, or we're not desperate enough yet, or we're not capable of rigorous honesty, or something like that.

1832
01:46:45.520 --> 01:46:50.079
Garbage. Maybe that's all true. That could be true. Maybe we don't actually really want it.

1833
01:46:50.079 --> 01:46:51.860
There's a part of us that wants it,

1834
01:46:52.719 --> 01:46:53.539
but it's

1835
01:46:55.005 --> 01:47:01.085
it's it's we haven't really anchored into that yet, and we don't really believe that it's possible.

1836
01:47:01.085 --> 01:47:02.365
We don't really believe we're worthy.

1837
01:47:02.365 --> 01:47:06.685
We don't really feel like it would be better than still being able to eat sugar sometimes. Right?

1838
01:47:06.685 --> 01:47:09.345
So we're still there's still some ambivalence there,

1839
01:47:11.400 --> 01:47:14.780
but it isn't necessarily the case that because we're re relapsing

1840
01:47:15.400 --> 01:47:16.460
or there's resistance

1841
01:47:18.040 --> 01:47:22.300
to doing what we need to do with food to feel aligned and peaceful and to heal and recover and feel good.

1842
01:47:22.840 --> 01:47:23.980
It could be simply

1843
01:47:25.495 --> 01:47:25.995
that

1844
01:47:26.935 --> 01:47:29.515
we are threatened by the benefits

1845
01:47:30.535 --> 01:47:31.515
of food recovery.

1846
01:47:32.375 --> 01:47:38.295
So I'm not even just talking about resistance to panning, prep planning, prepping, and eating all these beautiful, healthy, whole foods.

1847
01:47:38.295 --> 01:47:40.555
I'm talking about what happens when you lose weight?

1848
01:47:40.909 --> 01:47:42.610
What happens when you have more energy?

1849
01:47:42.670 --> 01:47:46.030
What happens when all of a sudden you start to feel the sensations in your body more?

1850
01:47:46.030 --> 01:47:49.090
You're moving at a dorsal freeze and you start feeling things more.

1851
01:47:49.230 --> 01:47:54.210
What happens when your heart starts to open and you realize there's an ocean of grief underneath there?

1852
01:47:54.590 --> 01:47:56.050
Or what happens when

1853
01:47:56.725 --> 01:47:59.385
your heart opens up and you start to feel soft

1854
01:48:00.965 --> 01:48:01.545
and expansive

1855
01:48:02.565 --> 01:48:03.465
and vulnerable?

1856
01:48:04.405 --> 01:48:06.185
Well, to a body with trauma,

1857
01:48:06.805 --> 01:48:08.824
that can be very, very triggering.

1858
01:48:09.470 --> 01:48:12.850
And so you don't consciously think you might be resisting

1859
01:48:14.110 --> 01:48:16.210
the benefits of food recovery.

1860
01:48:16.510 --> 01:48:19.090
It's all unconscious. It's all unconscious patterns.

1861
01:48:22.284 --> 01:48:26.684
Slowing down. Recovery might ask us to slow down and sit at a table and eat a meal.

1862
01:48:26.684 --> 01:48:27.905
That can be very triggering.

1863
01:48:29.085 --> 01:48:34.545
It might ask us to get into the kitchen and make a meal when we're used to doing things fast so we can get back to our to do list.

1864
01:48:35.770 --> 01:48:38.350
So all of this can be very

1865
01:48:38.889 --> 01:48:39.389
threatening

1866
01:48:40.090 --> 01:48:41.949
to a body that's in hypervigilance

1867
01:48:42.730 --> 01:48:43.469
that's dysregulated.

1868
01:48:45.130 --> 01:48:52.614
There's also another potential layer that structure can feel very restrictive because maybe we were put on diets really young or maybe we had authority figures

1869
01:48:52.915 --> 01:49:02.614
who had rules and we there's rebellion against the feeling of I'm not safe with rules because it's over coupled with past experience of someone who was a despot with you.

1870
01:49:02.835 --> 01:49:04.054
They weren't safe.

1871
01:49:05.070 --> 01:49:07.010
They weren't in attachment with you.

1872
01:49:08.590 --> 01:49:09.090
So

1873
01:49:10.830 --> 01:49:13.550
all of these, right, can show up as resistance and rebellion.

1874
01:49:13.550 --> 01:49:15.730
I'll talk a little bit how we can work with that

1875
01:49:16.110 --> 01:49:16.610
shortly.

1876
01:49:19.855 --> 01:49:20.355
Hypervigilant

1877
01:49:20.815 --> 01:49:21.315
state

1878
01:49:21.935 --> 01:49:24.115
is where we have learned to stay

1879
01:49:25.535 --> 01:49:26.035
braced,

1880
01:49:27.695 --> 01:49:28.195
tense,

1881
01:49:29.775 --> 01:49:30.275
anxious,

1882
01:49:32.000 --> 01:49:36.340
in fight or flight until we can't do that anymore and we collapse into freeze, and not everybody does.

1883
01:49:36.480 --> 01:49:40.160
There's lots of people in this call that don't know what freeze is. I'm so happy for you.

1884
01:49:40.160 --> 01:49:50.204
But if you're in chronic fight or flight, let's work with that because it's probably just a matter of time in your lifetime where you might you might eventually, at some point, burn out your adrenals, and you will drop into the freeze.

1885
01:49:50.985 --> 01:49:53.005
So the body doesn't wanna calm down.

1886
01:49:53.545 --> 01:49:58.364
It doesn't actually wanna feel better. It doesn't wanna feel regulated because it doesn't equate

1887
01:49:59.224 --> 01:50:01.645
the regulated state with feeling safe.

1888
01:50:02.470 --> 01:50:06.310
It's kind of like you're running away from the tiger and someone's saying, hey.

1889
01:50:06.310 --> 01:50:09.270
Why don't we just sit down and do a little five minute meditation right now?

1890
01:50:09.270 --> 01:50:12.330
The body's gonna go, what the hell are you talking about?

1891
01:50:12.790 --> 01:50:14.650
Right? What the hell are you talking about?

1892
01:50:14.975 --> 01:50:18.015
That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. That is not gonna work.

1893
01:50:18.015 --> 01:50:22.755
I'm trying to get away from Sugar hair. Can't you see? But we don't see it. It's unconscious.

1894
01:50:23.055 --> 01:50:24.755
We feel it. We sense it,

1895
01:50:25.855 --> 01:50:27.315
but this stuff is unconscious.

1896
01:50:28.080 --> 01:50:32.020
It's part part of the nervous system. But with there's ways of making it conscious,

1897
01:50:32.320 --> 01:50:33.860
and then we can work with it.

1898
01:50:34.240 --> 01:50:34.980
But abstinence

1899
01:50:35.280 --> 01:50:35.780
doesn't

1900
01:50:36.800 --> 01:50:38.740
isn't how we work with it. That's just

1901
01:50:39.440 --> 01:50:41.825
one of the tools we need. It's just not all of it.

1902
01:50:41.885 --> 01:50:46.225
So even small steps forward such as being calm or present, more embodied can feel threatening.

1903
01:50:47.645 --> 01:51:00.429
So until we know how to tune in and to sense into the body in a way that feels small and safe and doable to begin with, and then get out till we learn how to titrate and pendulate doing somatic exercises.

1904
01:51:00.969 --> 01:51:05.869
This can be this this trauma can just continue to keep showing up as resistance and rebellion.

1905
01:51:07.635 --> 01:51:11.315
So what's this last paragraph? Hypervisional nervous system does not wanna calm down.

1906
01:51:11.315 --> 01:51:17.335
It wants to stay ready for the shoe to drop, the next bad thing to hit, the doom it has already experienced for that to come back.

1907
01:51:18.515 --> 01:51:21.015
Rebellion isn't against recovery itself.

1908
01:51:21.570 --> 01:51:22.469
It's not like we're deliberately

1909
01:51:23.010 --> 01:51:25.750
self sabotaging. It's just that survival trumps.

1910
01:51:26.690 --> 01:51:27.989
Survival trumps everything.

1911
01:51:28.929 --> 01:51:32.230
Recovery can feel like it's leaving us defenseless, unprotected,

1912
01:51:32.770 --> 01:51:33.270
exposed,

1913
01:51:33.650 --> 01:51:34.150
unsafe,

1914
01:51:35.655 --> 01:51:37.835
and to a dysregulated nervous system,

1915
01:51:39.494 --> 01:51:40.795
that is a no go.

1916
01:51:41.255 --> 01:51:44.074
That is a no go. It's gonna just keep resisting in rebellion

1917
01:51:45.255 --> 01:51:48.074
until we we know what to do with the trauma.

1918
01:51:50.910 --> 01:51:51.410
Oh,

1919
01:51:52.590 --> 01:51:54.770
I think there was something I was gonna say about

1920
01:51:55.470 --> 01:51:59.550
the doom from the oh, I know. Do you remember when we were younger and there was

1921
01:52:00.830 --> 01:52:06.855
maybe you guys never watched it, a horror TV series called Friday the thirteenth or Freddie the thirteenth or something like that?

1922
01:52:07.255 --> 01:52:09.355
And there was this psychopathic killer,

1923
01:52:10.135 --> 01:52:11.515
and you couldn't kill him.

1924
01:52:11.895 --> 01:52:17.255
And there was the whole show was literally about what it's like to be in a dysregulated nervous system.

1925
01:52:17.255 --> 01:52:27.670
So they get to this wonderful camp, and it's beautiful, and everyone's running around, and they're excited, and they're splashing in the in the lake and they're having so much fun and they're drinking and socializing and they're in their beautiful, vengeful, happy place.

1926
01:52:28.130 --> 01:52:35.590
And then Freddie shows up and starts to kill them and attack them and corner them and terrorize them and terrify them.

1927
01:52:35.835 --> 01:52:40.094
And then they're all there it's like this total trauma experience, right? Overwhelmed.

1928
01:52:40.155 --> 01:52:42.335
People are freaking out. Literally people are dying.

1929
01:52:42.555 --> 01:52:46.815
And then they try and eventually defend themselves and they think they've killed them.

1930
01:52:46.955 --> 01:52:52.000
But then, and their nervous system just drops back down into regulated state.

1931
01:52:52.220 --> 01:52:55.260
And they're open again and they're laughing and they're soft.

1932
01:52:55.260 --> 01:53:00.560
And you can feel their body has cleared the trauma. They're not hypervigilant. They have softened

1933
01:53:01.420 --> 01:53:02.400
and they're exposed

1934
01:53:02.780 --> 01:53:04.355
and they're vulnerable again.

1935
01:53:04.735 --> 01:53:06.675
And then just out of the blue,

1936
01:53:07.055 --> 01:53:08.995
Freddie drops from, like,

1937
01:53:09.375 --> 01:53:18.435
the ceiling or I remember this one scene, he dropped from the the roof of a house and he had his head in a window and everyone shrieks again

1938
01:53:19.070 --> 01:53:19.890
And it's terrifying.

1939
01:53:20.830 --> 01:53:23.890
Well, that's what it's like to be in a dysregulated nervous system,

1940
01:53:24.590 --> 01:53:27.255
except eventually we get Summit,

1941
01:53:27.870 --> 01:53:28.850
and we learn,

1942
01:53:29.870 --> 01:53:33.970
yeah, don't don't drop back into that unprotected state. Stay on guard.

1943
01:53:34.535 --> 01:53:37.415
It's gonna be here somewhere just when I least expect it. Right?

1944
01:53:37.415 --> 01:53:42.375
He's gonna he's gonna pop out of a closet, or I'm gonna be showering, and it's gonna come in the door.

1945
01:53:42.375 --> 01:53:46.875
All all the images we've seen of women being attacked in movies, that's all in the back of our head.

1946
01:53:47.910 --> 01:53:54.010
But we also have lived experiences of things ambushing us, the shoe dropping, something really shitty happening.

1947
01:53:54.310 --> 01:53:56.250
And we didn't have the opportunity

1948
01:53:56.550 --> 01:53:57.690
to get what we needed

1949
01:53:58.310 --> 01:54:02.010
to resolve it. And those are the things that are still in our system,

1950
01:54:02.475 --> 01:54:04.655
so we still think Freddie's coming.

1951
01:54:05.195 --> 01:54:07.855
And it doesn't make sense rationally. We know

1952
01:54:08.555 --> 01:54:12.175
the things that have happened in the past are over. We know we survived them,

1953
01:54:12.635 --> 01:54:15.055
but that's not. That's a mental.

1954
01:54:15.400 --> 01:54:19.340
In the body, it's still alive, and we need to go and help it.

1955
01:54:21.320 --> 01:54:24.700
Trauma complication number three. Trauma creates limiting beliefs,

1956
01:54:25.240 --> 01:54:28.140
lies. We live by lies all the time.

1957
01:54:28.600 --> 01:54:30.940
A dysregulated traumatized nervous system

1958
01:54:31.315 --> 01:54:31.815
believes

1959
01:54:32.835 --> 01:54:34.375
negative thoughts and beliefs

1960
01:54:34.835 --> 01:54:36.295
that flows negative feelings

1961
01:54:36.755 --> 01:54:39.335
all the time. We're in this total loop. And what happens

1962
01:54:39.715 --> 01:54:41.255
is that we become stuck.

1963
01:54:42.994 --> 01:54:46.680
We become stuck stuck in the situation where trauma happens. We're young.

1964
01:54:46.680 --> 01:54:53.340
We don't get the support we need to clear it, to resolve it, to become stronger through it, to become more confident, more socially connected

1965
01:54:53.880 --> 01:54:54.860
through the experience.

1966
01:54:55.400 --> 01:54:56.140
We actually

1967
01:54:57.560 --> 01:54:59.100
become, you know, hypervigilant.

1968
01:55:00.005 --> 01:55:01.065
We become traumatized,

1969
01:55:01.605 --> 01:55:02.105
dysregulated,

1970
01:55:03.125 --> 01:55:03.625
and

1971
01:55:04.645 --> 01:55:05.704
we tell stories

1972
01:55:06.485 --> 01:55:08.344
about why that trauma happened.

1973
01:55:09.204 --> 01:55:10.344
And these stories,

1974
01:55:10.965 --> 01:55:18.500
when we're really young especially, create core limiting beliefs that become part of our software, part of our whole paradigm, our way of looking at the world.

1975
01:55:18.500 --> 01:55:20.199
And we look through the eyes of fear,

1976
01:55:20.660 --> 01:55:22.360
and we look through the eyes of

1977
01:55:23.540 --> 01:55:28.625
negativity and Christophers, and some of those limiting beliefs are just passed down from our parents.

1978
01:55:28.625 --> 01:55:31.045
They said things to us. We took them on.

1979
01:55:31.665 --> 01:55:33.605
Some of them we came up with on our own.

1980
01:55:33.665 --> 01:55:37.525
But we we we we we form stories and beliefs about who we are,

1981
01:55:38.225 --> 01:55:42.565
who other people are, what life is about, what's possible for us,

1982
01:55:42.870 --> 01:55:44.330
what we're worthy of,

1983
01:55:45.030 --> 01:55:47.910
how hard it has to be, all that Kick of stuff.

1984
01:55:47.910 --> 01:55:53.530
And these core beliefs and if the core beliefs are ones that are critical and attacking

1985
01:55:54.630 --> 01:55:56.090
and scary and

1986
01:55:56.835 --> 01:55:59.175
lack oriented and scarcity oriented,

1987
01:55:59.635 --> 01:56:01.175
you're flowing fear.

1988
01:56:01.715 --> 01:56:06.535
So sometimes for some of us, we look out into the external world and we're like,

1989
01:56:08.195 --> 01:56:10.935
wow. My life's my life's pretty good.

1990
01:56:11.320 --> 01:56:12.460
I have a good marriage,

1991
01:56:13.480 --> 01:56:14.700
or maybe you don't,

1992
01:56:15.080 --> 01:56:16.460
but maybe you have good friends.

1993
01:56:17.000 --> 01:56:22.300
You have a nice apartment. You have enough money. You're actually safe. Like, it's okay.

1994
01:56:23.635 --> 01:56:29.895
It's oh, the external world, you look out and you rationally can see, I am safe. There's enough.

1995
01:56:30.915 --> 01:56:31.655
I'm okay.

1996
01:56:32.915 --> 01:56:33.415
But

1997
01:56:34.514 --> 01:56:43.140
when you have these limiting beliefs that that are constantly Florence, stories of scarcity and lack, not enough love, not enough time, not enough money, not enough health, not enough something

1998
01:56:43.680 --> 01:56:46.340
that you feel and deem essential to survival,

1999
01:56:47.280 --> 01:56:49.685
you're terrorizing yourself from your beliefs.

2000
01:56:50.145 --> 01:56:54.245
Your beliefs are the core problem. Your beliefs are the threat. Your beliefs are what keep

2001
01:56:54.865 --> 01:56:59.605
keep you in a dysregulated nervous system state. And because these limiting beliefs are unconscious,

2002
01:57:03.570 --> 01:57:05.110
they perpetuate dysfunction.

2003
01:57:06.210 --> 01:57:07.030
And, obviously,

2004
01:57:07.810 --> 01:57:11.190
that can that can keep keep us in that keeps us in the food.

2005
01:57:11.969 --> 01:57:14.710
See if there's anything else on here I wanna say.

2006
01:57:15.815 --> 01:57:16.315
So

2007
01:57:16.695 --> 01:57:19.995
traumatized limiting beliefs or unconscious limiting negative.

2008
01:57:20.775 --> 01:57:21.275
Okay.

2009
01:57:23.735 --> 01:57:25.515
So beliefs that support recovery.

2010
01:57:26.775 --> 01:57:27.915
People who recover,

2011
01:57:29.190 --> 01:57:30.330
people who are successful,

2012
01:57:31.110 --> 01:57:33.690
people who live in the happy place, the homeostasis,

2013
01:57:36.950 --> 01:57:37.770
the parasympathetic,

2014
01:57:38.310 --> 01:57:39.050
the peaceful

2015
01:57:41.435 --> 01:57:42.815
paradise of the parasympathetic.

2016
01:57:43.755 --> 01:57:46.715
These are thoughts that they believe. This is just their core beliefs.

2017
01:57:46.715 --> 01:57:48.015
They don't even know they believe

2018
01:57:48.315 --> 01:57:51.055
this. This is just the beliefs they believe.

2019
01:57:51.675 --> 01:57:56.400
This forms their paradigm. This shapes their entire lives, their entire recovery journey.

2020
01:57:56.540 --> 01:57:58.960
And for those of us with trauma, these are not our beliefs.

2021
01:57:59.340 --> 01:58:03.680
You'll recognize that pretty Kick, probably. At least some of these won't ring true for you.

2022
01:58:03.900 --> 01:58:08.640
It is possible to have the good thing I want to come into my life. Weight loss, peace with food.

2023
01:58:09.845 --> 01:58:13.125
Maybe it's just as simple as abstinence. Maybe it's, like, more joy.

2024
01:58:13.125 --> 01:58:16.745
Maybe it's a great relationship. Maybe it's more money. Whatever it is, the thing you want,

2025
01:58:17.445 --> 01:58:19.065
the good things that you want.

2026
01:58:19.365 --> 01:58:23.465
We can only have the good thing if we believe it's possible. It's actually

2027
01:58:24.080 --> 01:58:29.060
possible. If we believe it's impossible, how motivated are we gonna be to try and get it? Not.

2028
01:58:31.200 --> 01:58:32.260
And it's important

2029
01:58:32.960 --> 01:58:37.925
that we don't just believe it's possible, but that we feel it's possible. We know

2030
01:58:38.785 --> 01:58:39.845
in our body,

2031
01:58:40.305 --> 01:58:41.685
this is totally possible.

2032
01:58:42.705 --> 01:58:45.765
This isn't just possible, but it's possible for me.

2033
01:58:47.745 --> 01:58:48.645
It's safe

2034
01:58:49.025 --> 01:58:50.005
to have this.

2035
01:58:50.640 --> 01:58:54.100
So in a traumatized body, is it safe to give up sugar

2036
01:58:54.640 --> 01:58:59.600
when it's needing it for survival? Are you out of your mind? No. That is not a belief we have.

2037
01:58:59.600 --> 01:59:00.100
Unconsciously.

2038
01:59:00.800 --> 01:59:01.300
Consciously,

2039
01:59:01.600 --> 01:59:07.665
we know not only is it safe, but it's safer than eating it because sugar is traumatizing and very damaging to the body.

2040
01:59:07.665 --> 01:59:09.665
Now there's always a wiggle room to have some

2041
01:59:10.385 --> 01:59:13.525
and different bodies can tolerate different amounts of,

2042
01:59:14.145 --> 01:59:15.845
you know, ultra processed foods

2043
01:59:16.600 --> 01:59:20.254
along a spectrum again. But generally speaking, we are safer off Sugar,

2044
01:59:20.840 --> 01:59:23.660
but unconsciously, is that what the nervous system believes?

2045
01:59:24.440 --> 01:59:25.180
If it doesn't,

2046
01:59:25.880 --> 01:59:30.140
it's gonna resist you. It's gonna go back to it when it's running enough

2047
01:59:31.155 --> 01:59:33.974
fight or flight energy that it needs that fast fuel.

2048
01:59:34.675 --> 01:59:38.275
You betcha. It's gonna start calling for it, and it's gonna fight you.

2049
01:59:38.275 --> 01:59:41.415
And there's a high chance of of relapse. It's not about

2050
01:59:42.355 --> 01:59:43.735
it's not about the drug.

2051
01:59:45.890 --> 01:59:48.150
Well, it is, but it's a different pathway.

2052
01:59:49.170 --> 01:59:51.110
We need to believe we're worthy of it.

2053
01:59:51.890 --> 01:59:55.650
We need to believe that we're worthy of this good thing coming into our life.

2054
01:59:55.650 --> 01:59:58.895
We need to be willing to receive it. It needs to feel safe.

2055
01:59:58.995 --> 02:00:03.015
We need to believe that we don't have to sacrifice something else that we value more.

2056
02:00:03.875 --> 02:00:06.675
So if we're kind of like, oh, I'd really like abstinence, but,

2057
02:00:07.475 --> 02:00:08.614
you know, I might

2058
02:00:09.810 --> 02:00:13.410
miss out on this or something. I might have to sacrifice something else that I value.

2059
02:00:13.410 --> 02:00:14.390
So there can be

2060
02:00:15.650 --> 02:00:17.510
but people who who have

2061
02:00:19.170 --> 02:00:23.830
recovery, success, and any they they allow good things into their lives, they don't believe that.

2062
02:00:24.255 --> 02:00:26.815
They believe, oh, no. No. This is for my highest and best good.

2063
02:00:26.815 --> 02:00:29.375
Not only is it good for me, but it's good for the world. It's good for my kids.

2064
02:00:29.375 --> 02:00:30.595
It's good for other people.

2065
02:00:30.815 --> 02:00:41.010
Because it's really, really important for women that we actually have that extra layer, that we believe that the good thing we want is also good for other people because we're so often the empaths.

2066
02:00:41.389 --> 02:00:48.449
We're so often ones that are tuned in to the the needs of others, and we need to believe that if it's good for us, it's also good for them when we're successful.

2067
02:00:48.590 --> 02:00:50.115
If we think it might not be,

2068
02:00:50.675 --> 02:00:52.375
you're gonna have resistance and rebellion.

2069
02:00:54.275 --> 02:00:57.875
They will believe so a belief that supports recovery is no one's gonna be mad at me.

2070
02:00:57.875 --> 02:00:59.155
No one's gonna reject me.

2071
02:00:59.155 --> 02:01:03.815
No one's gonna criticize or attack me for receiving this good thing that I want.

2072
02:01:04.115 --> 02:01:08.250
God's not gonna be mad at me. God doesn't think I'm being greedy or asking for too much.

2073
02:01:08.250 --> 02:01:09.710
God's like, honey.

2074
02:01:10.650 --> 02:01:20.855
Those divine desires in your heart, those are placed there to push you forward, to come more into the next level of elevated living, that you get to feel better and better,

2075
02:01:21.555 --> 02:01:26.215
more aligned with our true spiritual nature of love and peace and joy and gratitude.

2076
02:01:26.835 --> 02:01:27.975
That's our true nature.

2077
02:01:28.675 --> 02:01:29.895
That's our true nature.

2078
02:01:30.240 --> 02:01:38.720
And our desires, those divine desires, the desire for absence, the desire for weight loss, the desire for for recovery with food, those are divine desires.

2079
02:01:38.720 --> 02:01:45.380
Those are placed in there by our higher self or our higher power to move us forward into higher states

2080
02:01:45.915 --> 02:01:46.895
of being.

2081
02:01:48.475 --> 02:01:50.655
But when we have a body that's been traumatized,

2082
02:01:51.035 --> 02:01:52.575
it doesn't understand that.

2083
02:01:54.875 --> 02:01:56.415
We believe it can be easy.

2084
02:01:56.955 --> 02:02:00.015
I can do this. Right? Because a regulated body

2085
02:02:02.040 --> 02:02:06.520
has beliefs like, I'll have the support I need. What I need will be there. I will be guided.

2086
02:02:06.520 --> 02:02:11.820
There'll be my next right steps. The path forward will be known, and I will be able to do my part.

2087
02:02:12.280 --> 02:02:15.135
And it's not the only part that I am supported.

2088
02:02:15.915 --> 02:02:21.055
That's a body that's learned when I'm stressed. There's supports. There will be a happy ending.

2089
02:02:22.155 --> 02:02:24.575
So they have a core belief

2090
02:02:25.835 --> 02:02:30.410
that it will be easy, that they'll be supported, that the right steps be be known made

2091
02:02:30.790 --> 02:02:36.090
known, that we will be supported both by other people from ourselves, other people, and spiritually.

2092
02:02:36.790 --> 02:02:38.730
And they just know we're never alone.

2093
02:02:39.030 --> 02:02:42.525
We are cherished, loved, protected, and supported by unseen spiritual forces.

2094
02:02:42.525 --> 02:02:44.225
Now a lot of us know this.

2095
02:02:45.725 --> 02:02:49.665
We believe this. We know it in our minds to be true, like, unequivocally

2096
02:02:49.965 --> 02:02:50.785
to be true.

2097
02:02:51.005 --> 02:02:56.145
But when you have a traumatized nervous system, it can be very difficult for that to feel real,

2098
02:02:57.300 --> 02:03:01.300
for that to be a felt sense, for that to be meaningful to the body.

2099
02:03:01.300 --> 02:03:06.360
We can't just say to the body, oh, you're safe. You're safe. We're fine. Look. Everything's good.

2100
02:03:07.140 --> 02:03:10.360
Everything no. The body doesn't want anything part of that. It's not buying it.

2101
02:03:10.725 --> 02:03:16.745
The body has to feel safety. It has to be a felt sense of safety and support, which is why somatic

2102
02:03:17.285 --> 02:03:20.825
healing is is a part of the trauma recovery process because, intellectually,

2103
02:03:21.525 --> 02:03:26.105
we can understand all this. But if it's not real to the body, it has to be a felt sense of it.

2104
02:03:26.160 --> 02:03:28.180
We have to be an energetic match

2105
02:03:28.800 --> 02:03:31.060
for what we want and these beliefs.

2106
02:03:35.200 --> 02:03:37.140
Yet these beliefs need to be felt,

2107
02:03:37.680 --> 02:03:39.220
not just not just thought.

2108
02:03:40.125 --> 02:03:43.505
Complication number four, trauma blocks self, social, and spiritual connection.

2109
02:03:43.805 --> 02:03:45.585
I think you kinda touched on that.

2110
02:03:47.725 --> 02:03:52.065
Oh, yeah. It's really, really helpful, I think, for us to understand

2111
02:03:53.830 --> 02:03:56.570
that when we are in a solitary defense state,

2112
02:03:57.030 --> 02:03:58.330
we're outside of our window,

2113
02:03:58.630 --> 02:04:00.490
we're in fight or flight or fought or freeze,

2114
02:04:01.110 --> 02:04:04.090
that's not social connection mode. It's the opposite.

2115
02:04:05.155 --> 02:04:08.695
It's the opposite. And we disconnect from our bodies, from other peoples,

2116
02:04:10.035 --> 02:04:14.035
and from higher guidance and spiritual connections. Sometimes we just can't access it.

2117
02:04:14.035 --> 02:04:16.915
We might be praying like, please, what's my next right stop? What should I do in this?

2118
02:04:16.915 --> 02:04:18.595
And we just got crickets. There's nothing.

2119
02:04:18.595 --> 02:04:23.090
It's not because god isn't talking or the universe isn't talking, and it's not because we're not supported.

2120
02:04:23.390 --> 02:04:25.570
There isn't a 100 angels around us saying,

2121
02:04:26.030 --> 02:04:26.770
we're here.

2122
02:04:27.150 --> 02:04:30.690
It's because we're disconnected, so we need to work with the trauma.

2123
02:04:32.355 --> 02:04:36.455
It can be very, very difficult to connect with ourselves, like as I mentioned,

2124
02:04:37.395 --> 02:04:38.615
let alone other people.

2125
02:04:40.595 --> 02:04:41.095
Sometimes

2126
02:04:41.635 --> 02:04:42.935
when we're in these dysregulated

2127
02:04:43.315 --> 02:04:45.895
states, we can connect with nature.

2128
02:04:47.120 --> 02:04:48.980
Maybe we can connect with a pet.

2129
02:04:49.440 --> 02:04:50.980
Maybe there's a a place

2130
02:04:51.600 --> 02:04:54.960
that, like, there's we can co we don't just have to co regulate with humans.

2131
02:04:54.960 --> 02:04:56.740
We can co regulate with,

2132
02:04:59.135 --> 02:05:03.875
we can co co regulate with the tree. We can co regulate with a dog, a cat.

2133
02:05:04.815 --> 02:05:06.435
That's that works too.

2134
02:05:08.015 --> 02:05:14.275
So trauma blocks self social spiritual connection, which creates a catch 22 because we know we need to co regulate

2135
02:05:14.949 --> 02:05:16.010
and self regulate

2136
02:05:16.389 --> 02:05:17.449
to heal trauma.

2137
02:05:17.909 --> 02:05:19.429
So that's a bit of a bind, isn't it?

2138
02:05:19.429 --> 02:05:25.750
So we actually need to do that work to heal the trauma, but the trauma blocks it because it doesn't trust it.

2139
02:05:25.750 --> 02:05:27.530
That feels too unguarded.

2140
02:05:28.985 --> 02:05:30.285
It keeps us isolated

2141
02:05:31.305 --> 02:05:32.125
and disconnected.

2142
02:05:33.785 --> 02:05:35.005
So to move forward,

2143
02:05:35.545 --> 02:05:37.005
we first need to learn

2144
02:05:37.305 --> 02:05:39.645
how to very slowly and titrated moments

2145
02:05:40.025 --> 02:05:45.540
drop in and connect reconnect to the body. We reconnect mind and body. We can we can, you know,

2146
02:05:45.920 --> 02:05:46.980
reconnect higher self.

2147
02:05:48.320 --> 02:05:52.960
But if we don't know how to do that, it can be done too much, too fast. It can overwhelm us.

2148
02:05:52.960 --> 02:05:54.240
It can retraumatize us.

2149
02:05:54.240 --> 02:05:59.280
So there's that's why somatic exercises are all really small, and they look like they're doing nothing.

2150
02:05:59.280 --> 02:06:03.505
Like, Like, what is that gonna do? I'm gonna follow my breath for free breaths and then rest.

2151
02:06:03.505 --> 02:06:05.525
Like, what the hell is that doing? Oh my gosh.

2152
02:06:05.985 --> 02:06:10.165
It does a lot, but it does nothing if you don't understand

2153
02:06:10.705 --> 02:06:12.245
what it's doing and why.

2154
02:06:12.864 --> 02:06:15.205
Because I remember years and years ago,

2155
02:06:17.400 --> 02:06:22.920
you know, there was Susan Albers wrote a book called 50 ways to self soothe without food, and I'm like, yeah.

2156
02:06:22.920 --> 02:06:24.540
That's what I need to learn to do.

2157
02:06:25.480 --> 02:06:26.540
It doesn't work

2158
02:06:27.239 --> 02:06:28.700
when you want a cookie

2159
02:06:29.315 --> 02:06:33.494
and someone's telling you to go for a walk around the block or go hug a pet or take a bath.

2160
02:06:34.195 --> 02:06:35.815
Like, piss off.

2161
02:06:36.275 --> 02:06:38.195
That does sweet fuck all. I'll leave the bath.

2162
02:06:38.195 --> 02:06:42.375
I'll finish the walk, and I'll go hug my pet, and I still want the damn cookie because I didn't understand.

2163
02:06:43.500 --> 02:06:46.220
I didn't understand. I didn't have I didn't this was

2164
02:06:47.100 --> 02:06:47.920
I thought

2165
02:06:49.020 --> 02:06:50.320
that that was supposed to

2166
02:06:50.700 --> 02:06:52.480
feel as good as the cookie,

2167
02:06:53.100 --> 02:06:53.760
that it

2168
02:06:55.260 --> 02:07:00.885
but that's not the point of somatic work. The the role of somatic work isn't to feel better.

2169
02:07:01.665 --> 02:07:08.864
That's why we've learned to lean into substances and addictions because we've learned how to feel bad and reach for something that makes us feel better.

2170
02:07:08.864 --> 02:07:11.685
That's not what trauma recovery works about at all.

2171
02:07:13.130 --> 02:07:17.150
It's not about that. It's about just learning how to feel safe

2172
02:07:17.610 --> 02:07:18.110
feeling.

2173
02:07:19.050 --> 02:07:22.910
Feeling bad, feeling good, feeling everything in between, feeling pleasant and unpleasant.

2174
02:07:23.210 --> 02:07:33.185
It's about just learning how to feel safe with the sensations in our body and whatever they are, they are and how to meet and greet them from a place of the empathic witness.

2175
02:07:33.645 --> 02:07:38.864
So some people who do parts work might recognize this as sort of like the self, you know, meeting the parts,

2176
02:07:39.324 --> 02:07:43.700
but it's not just that. It that's Kick of more advanced somatics.

2177
02:07:44.480 --> 02:07:49.060
Beginner somatics is slightly different. It's just meeting a sensation

2178
02:07:49.600 --> 02:07:50.900
for a tiny moment

2179
02:07:51.520 --> 02:07:58.975
and beginning the journey of having the mind meet the body and for the mind to to treat the body as the sovereign entity it is.

2180
02:07:59.995 --> 02:08:06.815
And so, yeah, I don't know if that's kind of a bit of a high level crash course on somatics, but what it does and why it works.

2181
02:08:07.595 --> 02:08:11.615
It is the beginning stages of trauma recovery. And then over time

2182
02:08:13.400 --> 02:08:19.580
over time, we realize what we're doing is we're baby stepping our way into moments of felt safety and support,

2183
02:08:20.199 --> 02:08:20.940
which is

2184
02:08:21.880 --> 02:08:22.699
self regulation.

2185
02:08:23.480 --> 02:08:27.020
And we learn to slowly start to regulate ourselves from within.

2186
02:08:28.175 --> 02:08:31.155
And then from there, we can move into coregulation with others.

2187
02:08:32.975 --> 02:08:35.155
But the bottom line is recovery requires

2188
02:08:35.535 --> 02:08:36.915
self regulation or coregulation,

2189
02:08:38.015 --> 02:08:40.595
and that requires us to slowly

2190
02:08:41.890 --> 02:08:42.790
give our bodies

2191
02:08:43.489 --> 02:08:46.850
little tiny moments of a felt sense of safety and support.

2192
02:08:46.850 --> 02:08:50.550
And when it does have that felt sense of safety and support, unconsciously,

2193
02:08:51.330 --> 02:08:54.630
without any doing on our part, it knows

2194
02:08:54.930 --> 02:08:55.430
exactly

2195
02:08:56.185 --> 02:08:57.085
what little piece

2196
02:08:57.864 --> 02:08:58.605
of unresolved

2197
02:09:00.665 --> 02:09:01.465
trauma in your body.

2198
02:09:01.465 --> 02:09:06.925
It knows exactly which one to work on, and it can do that in just little split seconds, and a little tiny bit is released

2199
02:09:07.304 --> 02:09:09.165
and a little tiny bit is healed.

2200
02:09:09.410 --> 02:09:15.190
And then over weeks and over months, there's a there's a shift in your nervous system, and you can feel it.

2201
02:09:15.650 --> 02:09:18.150
And there is just there is a bit more energy,

2202
02:09:18.930 --> 02:09:20.790
or sometimes what happens

2203
02:09:21.375 --> 02:09:23.635
is there's just a little bit less of the activation.

2204
02:09:24.015 --> 02:09:26.595
We still have a lot of dorsal freeze to work with,

2205
02:09:27.375 --> 02:09:28.255
and that's okay.

2206
02:09:28.255 --> 02:09:32.575
It becomes a journey, and it doesn't become this I need to get this over with because I wanna feel good.

2207
02:09:32.575 --> 02:09:33.960
That's that's how addicts think.

2208
02:09:34.920 --> 02:09:36.219
That's a desperation

2209
02:09:36.680 --> 02:09:39.180
to feel good, but we don't need that

2210
02:09:40.120 --> 02:09:41.000
when we realize

2211
02:09:42.120 --> 02:09:45.500
we don't need that when we learn how to be able to be with all sensations.

2212
02:09:50.844 --> 02:09:53.744
Trauma complication number five. Trauma makes being in the body

2213
02:09:54.125 --> 02:09:54.625
uncomfortable.

2214
02:09:56.205 --> 02:09:58.864
So when there's a lot of activation in there,

2215
02:09:59.244 --> 02:10:03.824
it there's pain, there's tension, there's bracing. The main places of tension,

2216
02:10:04.210 --> 02:10:12.690
oh, sorry, bracing for for impact, for assault, for threat is usually the shoulders curve in, the hips curve in.

2217
02:10:12.690 --> 02:10:16.869
That's why a lot of people have hip issues, which can throw off the knees,

2218
02:10:17.329 --> 02:10:20.025
but that's all a trauma bracing posture.

2219
02:10:21.145 --> 02:10:21.645
And

2220
02:10:22.745 --> 02:10:26.045
there's chronic tension in the muscles. There's inflammation.

2221
02:10:26.824 --> 02:10:32.125
There's there's health issues. It's not pleasant to drop into a traumatized body.

2222
02:10:32.690 --> 02:10:34.150
It is not pleasant.

2223
02:10:34.770 --> 02:10:44.070
So when you hear things you need to heal to feel, what are you feeling, and you're asking Summit with the traumatized nervous system to go in and feel their emotions or their sensations,

2224
02:10:44.775 --> 02:10:49.195
That can be like asking them to go walk on a bed of nails or something. Like,

2225
02:10:49.815 --> 02:10:50.635
I don't know.

2226
02:10:53.255 --> 02:10:53.755
Like,

2227
02:10:54.375 --> 02:10:58.155
why don't you go throw yourself in a pot of boiling water? Like,

2228
02:10:58.540 --> 02:11:00.139
why would I do that? That's awful.

2229
02:11:00.139 --> 02:11:05.760
Like, I've spent how many decades being in the freeze response to avoid feeling all that awful stuff in there.

2230
02:11:07.020 --> 02:11:07.520
So

2231
02:11:08.699 --> 02:11:09.100
is

2232
02:11:09.580 --> 02:11:14.305
this can complicate food recovery because when you put the food down, your your feelings are gonna come up.

2233
02:11:14.305 --> 02:11:15.845
You're gonna have more access to sensations.

2234
02:11:16.865 --> 02:11:20.085
Some of the emotions and stuff that you've been repressing come up,

2235
02:11:21.025 --> 02:11:23.845
and they can just be too much.

2236
02:11:24.785 --> 02:11:28.400
Too much. And for some people, it can handle it, and for some of us, we can't.

2237
02:11:28.780 --> 02:11:30.480
And so we will relapse.

2238
02:11:31.660 --> 02:11:32.720
And, again,

2239
02:11:33.500 --> 02:11:35.280
that's not the addiction pathway.

2240
02:11:35.820 --> 02:11:37.120
That's this pathway.

2241
02:11:37.955 --> 02:11:45.175
And trying harder and forcing abstinence, you're just gonna you're just gonna be your trauma symptoms might just intensify.

2242
02:11:45.955 --> 02:11:51.015
And then you're just in this like, oh, man. I suck. I'm never gonna get this. I'm a loser.

2243
02:11:51.450 --> 02:11:53.450
I'm it's impossible for me.

2244
02:11:53.450 --> 02:11:58.430
All the negative thoughts start flowing, and the negative thoughts start creating more activation,

2245
02:11:59.530 --> 02:12:03.310
more overwhelm. You're just stuck in the trauma. It just digs you in deeper.

2246
02:12:04.225 --> 02:12:06.645
There we have to go about this a different way.

2247
02:12:07.425 --> 02:12:08.965
Some people become hypersensitive

2248
02:12:09.505 --> 02:12:12.145
when we put the food down and we start doing this work.

2249
02:12:12.145 --> 02:12:15.525
We're flooded with intense emotions and body sensations.

2250
02:12:16.385 --> 02:12:17.765
Others go more dorsal.

2251
02:12:18.300 --> 02:12:22.239
They become more numb, flat, and shut down, and they care less about recovery.

2252
02:12:22.540 --> 02:12:23.280
They just

2253
02:12:23.659 --> 02:12:25.599
just trying to get through their moment, their day.

2254
02:12:25.900 --> 02:12:26.719
Either way,

2255
02:12:27.659 --> 02:12:29.040
the the nervous system

2256
02:12:29.579 --> 02:12:32.699
is trying to move away from feelings, not towards them.

2257
02:12:32.699 --> 02:12:36.735
So we have to learn to recognize that it's doing that and how to work with it.

2258
02:12:37.594 --> 02:12:39.454
It's just a relationship building.

2259
02:12:41.434 --> 02:12:45.775
Traditional recovery tools often tell us to just sit with your feelings, sit with your emotions.

2260
02:12:48.380 --> 02:12:52.720
Yeah. I think it's clear that this can be unsafe for people with a traumatized nervous system.

2261
02:12:54.940 --> 02:12:55.440
K.

2262
02:12:56.060 --> 02:12:56.560
So

2263
02:12:57.100 --> 02:13:00.320
I want I I mentioned this, but I wanna stress

2264
02:13:00.875 --> 02:13:04.815
that there was a difference between trauma therapy and trauma informed recovery.

2265
02:13:05.995 --> 02:13:07.054
So therapy

2266
02:13:07.435 --> 02:13:14.015
in therapy, they use a wide variety of very innovative modalities. There's so much cool stuff

2267
02:13:14.490 --> 02:13:17.070
happening around trauma recovery, way beyond somatics.

2268
02:13:18.570 --> 02:13:21.290
Like, oh my lord. So many cool things going on.

2269
02:13:21.290 --> 02:13:28.750
They're they're even using AI right now where you combine Kick, you get yourself into a into a relaxed state, and then you have a memory.

2270
02:13:29.235 --> 02:13:32.135
Oh my god. It's so cool. So you have this traumatized memory,

2271
02:13:32.514 --> 02:13:36.034
and then you rescript it. You know, what happened? You feel it.

2272
02:13:36.034 --> 02:13:38.295
What would you like to have had happened instead?

2273
02:13:38.755 --> 02:13:39.895
And then you actually

2274
02:13:40.275 --> 02:13:45.670
rescript it in your own voice, and then you combine it with music and a meditative state, and you rescript it.

2275
02:13:45.670 --> 02:13:52.730
And what you do is you have this memory in your brain, and it's coupled with a new memory, and it shifts the traumatic memory.

2276
02:13:53.430 --> 02:13:55.770
It becomes a new memory. It's been

2277
02:13:56.550 --> 02:13:57.050
reprogrammed,

2278
02:13:57.350 --> 02:14:00.090
rewired. It's so fascinating. There's EMDR.

2279
02:14:00.525 --> 02:14:01.025
There's

2280
02:14:03.165 --> 02:14:06.784
oh my gosh. I'm not even gonna remotely be able to list them all. There's,

2281
02:14:07.324 --> 02:14:08.465
and it doesn't matter.

2282
02:14:08.525 --> 02:14:13.025
Bottom line is therapists have lots of different tools in their toolbox to work with

2283
02:14:13.565 --> 02:14:14.065
past

2284
02:14:14.970 --> 02:14:16.350
experiences and memories.

2285
02:14:17.530 --> 02:14:22.030
So they can talk about the past. They can help you process past traumatic events,

2286
02:14:22.570 --> 02:14:27.965
but trauma informed coaching or recovery work of any kind is exact opposite.

2287
02:14:28.505 --> 02:14:29.965
We never never

2288
02:14:30.345 --> 02:14:33.405
talk about the past. We never talk about past

2289
02:14:33.865 --> 02:14:34.365
traumatic

2290
02:14:34.825 --> 02:14:36.125
events because

2291
02:14:37.065 --> 02:14:38.525
they will simply be retraumatizing.

2292
02:14:39.225 --> 02:14:39.965
We always

2293
02:14:40.290 --> 02:14:45.989
the whole goal of somatic works is to come into the present moment, to be completely just present right now

2294
02:14:46.449 --> 02:14:49.829
with what's up in your body now. We don't go digging in the past.

2295
02:14:50.530 --> 02:14:54.309
Therapy can explore emotions, memories, and meaning of past traumatic events.

2296
02:14:54.855 --> 02:14:57.435
They can revisit experiences that are still,

2297
02:14:58.935 --> 02:15:02.315
and con like, in the body, but not necessarily on the surface.

2298
02:15:03.815 --> 02:15:08.475
This can be very, very powerful helpful work. I'm a big fan of trauma therapy,

2299
02:15:09.350 --> 02:15:13.610
but you need a skilled professional if you're gonna be working with past trauma.

2300
02:15:13.830 --> 02:15:16.710
There's a huge misunderstanding about working with trauma.

2301
02:15:16.710 --> 02:15:22.330
Some people are afraid to work with their trauma because they think they have to go back and relive something that was horrible or

2302
02:15:23.510 --> 02:15:27.355
years and years of abuse and neglect and abandonment, and you don't.

2303
02:15:27.895 --> 02:15:31.515
It's exact opposite when you do trauma informed recovery is about

2304
02:15:32.135 --> 02:15:32.635
staying

2305
02:15:33.255 --> 02:15:33.755
completely

2306
02:15:34.055 --> 02:15:35.114
in the present moment,

2307
02:15:35.815 --> 02:15:39.415
being calm, aware, and present to the body. That's it. It's really that simple.

2308
02:15:39.415 --> 02:15:42.450
That's the the the the core foundation of it.

2309
02:15:42.910 --> 02:15:45.310
And then through that, we reconnect mind and body.

2310
02:15:45.310 --> 02:15:49.170
We begin to feel comfortable noticing the sensations, small, tiny amounts,

2311
02:15:49.870 --> 02:15:51.330
allowing them to be there,

2312
02:15:52.110 --> 02:15:57.995
and then we help the nervous system to experience moments of felt safety and support, hello, self regulation.

2313
02:15:58.775 --> 02:16:02.715
We become the empathic witness we didn't have then, and this heals trauma.

2314
02:16:03.095 --> 02:16:06.075
It allows it to to be,

2315
02:16:07.255 --> 02:16:07.755
completed

2316
02:16:08.790 --> 02:16:11.270
to be completed. And you can do this with therapy

2317
02:16:11.670 --> 02:16:14.329
therapist. You can also do a lot of it DIY

2318
02:16:15.989 --> 02:16:19.050
or with some trauma informed recovery support and coaching.

2319
02:16:21.110 --> 02:16:21.610
Okay.

2320
02:16:22.804 --> 02:16:24.085
So I like this line.

2321
02:16:24.085 --> 02:16:29.784
I might just say the work the somatic work that that you do in a trauma informed recovery program

2322
02:16:30.645 --> 02:16:32.745
is safe, generally speaking.

2323
02:16:33.523 --> 02:16:37.145
It's and if it doesn't feel safe, it feels overwhelming, you're getting flashbacks,

2324
02:16:37.730 --> 02:16:40.709
you can't cope, that's your cue to go get a professional.

2325
02:16:41.330 --> 02:16:48.150
But for most of us, some of these tools that we that we teach through trauma informed recovery, I mean, they're teaching in elementary school.

2326
02:16:48.370 --> 02:16:48.870
Mindfulness,

2327
02:16:50.234 --> 02:16:50.734
breathing.

2328
02:16:51.193 --> 02:16:55.434
Right? They're they're simple and basic, but it's not just the tools that's important.

2329
02:16:55.434 --> 02:16:56.334
It's understanding

2330
02:16:58.715 --> 02:16:59.693
why the education,

2331
02:17:00.314 --> 02:17:03.915
understanding the nervous system is the game changer. That does so much of the work.

2332
02:17:03.915 --> 02:17:05.455
It just starts to shift just

2333
02:17:07.940 --> 02:17:11.160
It's slow. It's gentle. It's self led, and it's self paced.

2334
02:17:12.740 --> 02:17:13.559
Welcome back.

2335
02:17:15.059 --> 02:17:16.340
Sorry this is going so long.

2336
02:17:16.340 --> 02:17:19.780
You have really no idea how I genuinely thought, oh, there's just about nine minutes here.

2337
02:17:19.780 --> 02:17:21.773
I'll just make Just add a few highlights.

2338
02:17:23.594 --> 02:17:27.455
We're close. What we're now gonna move into is I'm gonna talk about,

2339
02:17:28.154 --> 02:17:32.875
the three pillars of a trauma informed recovery program, like, what they would be.

2340
02:17:32.875 --> 02:17:36.174
There's probably more, but I'm just gonna give you three that I think are essential.

2341
02:17:37.090 --> 02:17:39.510
And, I'm also gonna talk about

2342
02:17:40.690 --> 02:17:43.270
just a sec. There was another thing I wanted to share.

2343
02:17:45.410 --> 02:17:47.431
See if it's gonna come back to my mind.

2344
02:17:52.075 --> 02:17:55.455
Hopefully, it'll come back. It was something to do with past material. Okay.

2345
02:17:55.754 --> 02:18:00.495
So I am now gonna take five minutes to do a little bit of a

2346
02:18:01.516 --> 02:18:05.195
heads up about the three pillars of a trauma informed FUBER recovery approach.

2347
02:18:05.195 --> 02:18:09.959
Like, what are the what is the new and different tools that we need to be working with on top

2348
02:18:10.340 --> 02:18:12.120
of the food addiction recovery tools,

2349
02:18:14.180 --> 02:18:16.840
blend them in the way that makes sense for us with our journey.

2350
02:18:17.059 --> 02:18:22.306
But before I do that, I'm gonna take do a five minute shameless plug on a women, food, and trauma

2351
02:18:24.205 --> 02:18:28.466
membership program that I've got coming up called the sanctuary where I'm gonna teach these pillars.

2352
02:18:29.405 --> 02:18:31.979
So the three pillars are harm reduction approach

2353
02:18:32.439 --> 02:18:36.939
and how to do that for in a trauma informed way, not just the, you know,

2354
02:18:38.199 --> 02:18:40.379
let the addiction run run over you.

2355
02:18:40.760 --> 02:18:44.139
So somatic healing exercises and advanced somatics works,

2356
02:18:44.545 --> 02:18:45.045
essential,

2357
02:18:45.584 --> 02:18:48.325
and working with energy beliefs and frequency, essential.

2358
02:18:48.385 --> 02:18:51.045
I think those are the three pillars that are often missing

2359
02:18:51.424 --> 02:18:53.604
from sort of the addiction brain focused,

2360
02:18:54.145 --> 02:18:56.404
not always, but sometimes and often.

2361
02:18:56.785 --> 02:18:59.580
So we're those are the three pillars that I'm gonna talk about.

2362
02:19:01.180 --> 02:19:06.000
Pillar number one of a trauma informed food recovery program.

2363
02:19:06.379 --> 02:19:09.440
Now I think I might step back slightly to say

2364
02:19:09.820 --> 02:19:10.639
that my

2365
02:19:12.555 --> 02:19:17.535
my personal food recovery journey and my professional food recovery journey

2366
02:19:18.875 --> 02:19:24.395
really took a pivot when I started to understand this trauma piece. I didn't understand it before.

2367
02:19:24.395 --> 02:19:25.614
I was in the classic

2368
02:19:26.830 --> 02:19:27.330
addiction

2369
02:19:28.350 --> 02:19:32.610
is a brain disorder. Abstinence is a solution, and all the tools

2370
02:19:33.709 --> 02:19:37.570
all the tools are meant to support us to get abstinent and stay abstinent.

2371
02:19:38.430 --> 02:19:39.570
I was in that paradigm.

2372
02:19:40.235 --> 02:19:46.415
And now that I understand this and it's expanded, my coursework is, my own personal journeys get changed.

2373
02:19:47.115 --> 02:19:50.795
So I wish I could have taught this ten years ago when I started. I didn't know it.

2374
02:19:50.795 --> 02:19:52.016
I didn't know it till

2375
02:19:52.395 --> 02:19:54.255
two things happened. Three.

2376
02:19:54.590 --> 02:19:56.609
One, I had a client from The UK

2377
02:19:57.790 --> 02:19:59.569
who was probably the most

2378
02:20:01.870 --> 02:20:02.370
committed

2379
02:20:04.990 --> 02:20:08.130
client I've ever had. Like, she so wanted this.

2380
02:20:09.265 --> 02:20:10.325
So wanted this.

2381
02:20:11.505 --> 02:20:13.365
Tried so hard. Did all the things.

2382
02:20:14.305 --> 02:20:18.245
At her height, she was eating 12 to 14 chocolate bars a day.

2383
02:20:18.865 --> 02:20:21.810
And when she wasn't eating them, she was getting trauma flashbacks.

2384
02:20:22.369 --> 02:20:27.189
She had a trauma therapist, had been in trauma therapy for years and years and years. In my mind,

2385
02:20:27.649 --> 02:20:30.869
I was like, oh, thank goodness she's got someone working with her trauma.

2386
02:20:30.930 --> 02:20:32.470
I just have to work with the food.

2387
02:20:33.250 --> 02:20:39.325
At that point, that felt like the easier part, which, of course, it isn't, but I thought, oh, thank goodness she's well supported with the trauma.

2388
02:20:39.325 --> 02:20:40.945
I'll just help her with the food.

2389
02:20:41.726 --> 02:20:46.205
But she just wasn't getting the food, and this was someone who really wanted to get it.

2390
02:20:46.205 --> 02:20:49.960
She had arrhythmia. She was overweight. She was feeling a crap. She was like, I really want this.

2391
02:20:49.960 --> 02:20:52.940
Like, what am I missing? What am I missing? And I gave her everything I had.

2392
02:20:53.400 --> 02:20:54.120
Everything I had.

2393
02:20:54.120 --> 02:20:57.080
I even gave her more than what I had because I give her more time because I thought, okay.

2394
02:20:57.080 --> 02:21:01.240
Let's just try some more. Let's let me give you some more time. And she just couldn't get it.

2395
02:21:01.240 --> 02:21:03.260
No failure on her part whatsoever.

2396
02:21:03.605 --> 02:21:04.985
But I remember thinking,

2397
02:21:07.205 --> 02:21:10.186
what am I missing about trauma? How is trauma

2398
02:21:11.365 --> 02:21:15.926
how does this compromise her capacity to do this simple thing of just eating whole foods?

2399
02:21:15.926 --> 02:21:17.145
It's not that hard.

2400
02:21:17.800 --> 02:21:19.180
It's not that hard.

2401
02:21:19.640 --> 02:21:23.580
If it's that hard, I think this this is the stuff that's getting in the way.

2402
02:21:27.399 --> 02:21:30.060
So that was the first thing. The second thing was

2403
02:21:31.186 --> 02:21:36.385
I had another client who said to me, hey, Florence. Have you ever heard of the polyvagal theory?

2404
02:21:36.385 --> 02:21:41.045
I'm like, sort of. She goes, I think you wanna check it out. She goes, I think it would really,

2405
02:21:41.585 --> 02:21:44.245
like, expand your understanding of all this.

2406
02:21:44.705 --> 02:21:49.100
She was right. Her name was Jewel. Thank you, Jewel. So I'm like, okay. I'll go check it out.

2407
02:21:49.160 --> 02:21:51.739
And then the minute I started reading about it,

2408
02:21:52.040 --> 02:21:52.859
it was like,

2409
02:21:54.520 --> 02:21:55.420
oh my god.

2410
02:21:55.880 --> 02:21:57.180
It's all about safety.

2411
02:21:57.815 --> 02:22:00.476
It's all about safety. It's all about feeling safe.

2412
02:22:01.495 --> 02:22:02.155
So then

2413
02:22:02.695 --> 02:22:09.115
the third thing that happened is I was interviewing a woman on one of my Kick sugar summits who was a somatic experiencing practitioner.

2414
02:22:09.255 --> 02:22:11.570
She was a trauma therapist. Practitioner, actually.

2415
02:22:11.790 --> 02:22:13.970
They don't we don't call ourselves therapists, practitioners.

2416
02:22:14.590 --> 02:22:15.090
And

2417
02:22:16.590 --> 02:22:18.189
I was, like, picking her brain.

2418
02:22:18.189 --> 02:22:22.210
I'm like, but trauma is about, like, the events, and it's about, like, going Kick.

2419
02:22:22.350 --> 02:22:26.686
And she's like, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. That's not what heals trauma. Trauma right?

2420
02:22:26.686 --> 02:22:28.226
What I was explaining to you guys.

2421
02:22:28.605 --> 02:22:32.205
And I you can just see my own mind being blown in this interview. I'm like, what?

2422
02:22:32.205 --> 02:22:36.605
Like, I don't get it. Like, what? It can't be that simple. She goes, it's that simple, honey.

2423
02:22:36.605 --> 02:22:38.466
It's that simple. It's that

2424
02:22:39.061 --> 02:22:39.561
simple.

2425
02:22:40.660 --> 02:22:44.660
And, you know, there's some complexities to it, but, really, it's simple.

2426
02:22:44.660 --> 02:22:49.800
Like, when we understand it, when you have the framework, when you understand polyvagal theory, when you understand

2427
02:22:50.260 --> 02:22:51.960
what somatic work is doing,

2428
02:22:52.335 --> 02:22:57.154
then your motivation to do it and your capacity to work with it and have it make a difference totally changes.

2429
02:22:57.455 --> 02:23:01.795
Just giving someone a somatic tool without them understanding, I think, the history behind,

2430
02:23:02.415 --> 02:23:07.330
you know, how it came into the picture, Because the real pivot happened with trauma understanding,

2431
02:23:07.950 --> 02:23:09.490
the real pivot happened

2432
02:23:11.070 --> 02:23:12.370
when Steve Porges

2433
02:23:12.990 --> 02:23:18.051
talked about the freeze response in the mammalian nervous system. He wasn't talking about trauma,

2434
02:23:19.205 --> 02:23:21.385
not even remotely. He was just talking about,

2435
02:23:21.765 --> 02:23:24.505
oh, wow. Look at this freeze response. Isn't this interesting?

2436
02:23:25.845 --> 02:23:27.865
Trauma therapist came along and said,

2437
02:23:28.485 --> 02:23:33.625
wait a minute. The freeze response, that's exactly like what my clients are describing.

2438
02:23:33.810 --> 02:23:36.949
When they're in a traumatized state, it looks just like the freeze response.

2439
02:23:37.970 --> 02:23:38.949
Wait a minute.

2440
02:23:40.130 --> 02:23:41.510
The freeze response

2441
02:23:42.770 --> 02:23:44.310
is the trauma response.

2442
02:23:45.010 --> 02:23:46.470
It's in physiological

2443
02:23:47.115 --> 02:23:48.335
state of overwhelm

2444
02:23:48.795 --> 02:23:52.575
where the body drops into what I've described today as the freeze response.

2445
02:23:53.675 --> 02:23:55.056
Holy does that change

2446
02:23:55.596 --> 02:23:58.655
our understanding of trauma and how to treat it.

2447
02:23:59.540 --> 02:24:03.860
It's not psychological. It's not about what happened. It's not the meaning. It's not the the story.

2448
02:24:03.860 --> 02:24:06.100
Forget it. It's just a drop into the body.

2449
02:24:06.100 --> 02:24:11.880
How do we support the body to get the sense of its being resourced and supported so that it can complete

2450
02:24:13.205 --> 02:24:13.944
its defensive

2451
02:24:15.205 --> 02:24:18.904
it it can complete the trauma response, AKA complete its self defensive,

2452
02:24:21.125 --> 02:24:21.625
action.

2453
02:24:22.965 --> 02:24:25.064
It needs to complete its mobilization,

2454
02:24:26.564 --> 02:24:27.625
and then it resolves.

2455
02:24:30.721 --> 02:24:32.261
Well, isn't that a game changer?

2456
02:24:33.040 --> 02:24:34.580
Doesn't that just change everything?

2457
02:24:35.360 --> 02:24:35.860
And

2458
02:24:36.320 --> 02:24:37.460
it can be resolved.

2459
02:24:38.000 --> 02:24:39.141
And we know now

2460
02:24:40.400 --> 02:24:41.940
how to offer the body

2461
02:24:43.405 --> 02:24:47.805
small titrated moments of felt sense of safety and support. We know how to do that.

2462
02:24:47.805 --> 02:24:48.925
That's what somatic work does.

2463
02:24:48.925 --> 02:24:53.024
There's lots of lots of right ways of working with the nervous system and working with trauma.

2464
02:24:53.405 --> 02:24:55.745
But one of the ways that doesn't work

2465
02:24:56.511 --> 02:24:59.891
from this the somatic lens is talking about the trauma,

2466
02:25:00.351 --> 02:25:04.210
going back, describing it, getting into the meaning, and then what happened?

2467
02:25:05.230 --> 02:25:09.730
That can be helpful in a context of professional trauma therapy, but not

2468
02:25:10.431 --> 02:25:11.410
from this approach.

2469
02:25:14.564 --> 02:25:15.064
So

2470
02:25:16.245 --> 02:25:17.385
pillar number one,

2471
02:25:17.845 --> 02:25:23.465
harm reduction. So the goal is still abstinence as you define it if you decide that's what you want.

2472
02:25:23.524 --> 02:25:25.524
And you might change your mind once you get regulated.

2473
02:25:25.524 --> 02:25:27.840
You might just say, you know, I can handle it sometimes. Great.

2474
02:25:28.320 --> 02:25:32.100
Don't let anybody tell you just because you have previously

2475
02:25:33.439 --> 02:25:34.580
appeared to be

2476
02:25:35.040 --> 02:25:40.899
a sugar addict that you don't get to decide what works for you. Your recovery is sovereign.

2477
02:25:43.465 --> 02:25:46.825
I personally wouldn't wanna put sugar and ultra processed foods in my body.

2478
02:25:46.825 --> 02:25:52.025
I hope I never put it in my body again, and it doesn't mean that I won't because I understand how this works now.

2479
02:25:52.025 --> 02:25:56.285
And I understand that there might be a moment when I go back to the food, and if I do, it's

2480
02:25:56.825 --> 02:25:57.325
okay.

2481
02:25:58.130 --> 02:25:58.450
Yes.

2482
02:25:58.450 --> 02:26:03.990
There will be cravings, and it might be hard for a few days to get back on track, but it's easier to get back on track

2483
02:26:04.370 --> 02:26:10.230
when you take this approach, which is an understanding that sometimes when we reach the edge of our capacity to stay present

2484
02:26:11.186 --> 02:26:18.405
to whatever activation is in our body, we are going to do something called foe regulate, which is to sort of try and bring in an outside

2485
02:26:19.665 --> 02:26:20.645
way of

2486
02:26:21.346 --> 02:26:23.365
reducing the sympathetic activation.

2487
02:26:23.426 --> 02:26:26.790
So instead of through coregulation, self regulation, we use something else

2488
02:26:27.190 --> 02:26:28.010
to dampen

2489
02:26:29.270 --> 02:26:32.650
all those hormones of stress, the cortisol, adrenaline, etcetera.

2490
02:26:33.110 --> 02:26:36.090
That's called full regulation. It just dials it down.

2491
02:26:36.870 --> 02:26:38.730
It it makes it more manageable.

2492
02:26:40.114 --> 02:26:43.975
So who knows? In the future, I might turn back to food. I might.

2493
02:26:44.274 --> 02:26:47.975
I have a traumatized, dysregulated nervous system. It is better.

2494
02:26:48.515 --> 02:26:57.230
It is better over these last three years because after I talked to that woman on my summit, I'm like, there's no way I could be a good sugar coach without understanding this.

2495
02:26:57.230 --> 02:26:58.050
It's not possible.

2496
02:26:58.670 --> 02:27:02.610
There's too many of us that do this chronic relapse thing.

2497
02:27:02.670 --> 02:27:04.770
And I have long, long, long, long stretches.

2498
02:27:05.790 --> 02:27:06.290
But

2499
02:27:07.445 --> 02:27:13.385
where I don't go to the drug foods, but I will volume eat or I'll overeat, I could see those behaviors.

2500
02:27:14.485 --> 02:27:16.025
It was still in the mix.

2501
02:27:17.285 --> 02:27:17.785
So

2502
02:27:21.181 --> 02:27:23.440
the harm reduction pillar goes like this.

2503
02:27:24.780 --> 02:27:26.160
We know that abstinence

2504
02:27:26.700 --> 02:27:29.520
is a goal for most of us, but you can change your mind.

2505
02:27:30.940 --> 02:27:36.935
Especially in a traumatized nervous system, the better we can nourish our bodies, the more we can get regulated

2506
02:27:37.955 --> 02:27:41.814
from the dysregulation that the foods cause. We will be using sugar,

2507
02:27:42.515 --> 02:27:47.335
stimulants, foods that are stimulating and sedating depending on what's happening with our nervous system.

2508
02:27:47.750 --> 02:27:50.729
When we reach the edge of our capacity to stay present in our bodies,

2509
02:27:51.270 --> 02:27:52.890
we will turn to something.

2510
02:27:53.750 --> 02:27:58.970
If we are not doing, you know, somatic work or something that actually is coregulating or self regulating,

2511
02:27:59.350 --> 02:28:02.695
we are going to turn to something for some support. It could be TV. It could be sugar.

2512
02:28:02.695 --> 02:28:03.995
It could be scrolling. It could be

2513
02:28:04.695 --> 02:28:07.096
it could be sex. It could be shopping. It could be something.

2514
02:28:07.096 --> 02:28:09.995
And those are all called faux regulators, and they're fine.

2515
02:28:11.495 --> 02:28:12.235
No judgment.

2516
02:28:12.950 --> 02:28:18.490
We drop all that with this trauma informed approach. We no longer judge anything we do

2517
02:28:18.870 --> 02:28:23.530
in our in the body's cry for support to manage its nervous system.

2518
02:28:24.710 --> 02:28:26.490
So no shame, no guilt, no regret,

2519
02:28:26.945 --> 02:28:34.385
no flowing of any negative energies, no judgments, no fear, all of that just keeps us looping in the trauma loop.

2520
02:28:34.385 --> 02:28:37.605
That isn't helpful. It isn't necessary. It's all a lie.

2521
02:28:37.985 --> 02:28:41.890
It's fine that sometimes we turn to things to support ourselves

2522
02:28:42.350 --> 02:28:45.170
while we get better at learning how to coregulate and self regulate.

2523
02:28:46.190 --> 02:28:48.350
But here's what we do differently with the harm reduction.

2524
02:28:48.350 --> 02:28:51.811
We don't just say, well, I'm really overwhelmed right now. I'm gonna go have whatever.

2525
02:28:52.590 --> 02:28:54.967
You're gonna say, I'm really overwhelmed right now. I'm gonna try a few somatic exercises.

2526
02:28:54.967 --> 02:28:55.990
And if and if at the end of it, I still wanna Summit,

2527
02:28:57.585 --> 02:29:03.205
exercises. And if and if at the end of it, I still wanna go eat x, I'm gonna go eat x.

2528
02:29:04.545 --> 02:29:09.285
And when I eat the x, let's say it's peanuts, I'm gonna go and eat some peanuts.

2529
02:29:11.449 --> 02:29:15.790
I'm gonna slow it down, and I'm gonna be so present.

2530
02:29:16.569 --> 02:29:20.989
Gonna unshell it. I'm gonna put it in my mouth. I'm gonna do it slowly.

2531
02:29:21.529 --> 02:29:24.109
I'm gonna be so present to the experience

2532
02:29:25.065 --> 02:29:25.966
of being supported

2533
02:29:26.905 --> 02:29:27.886
by these peanuts

2534
02:29:29.145 --> 02:29:30.205
and the pleasure

2535
02:29:30.506 --> 02:29:31.645
and the calming

2536
02:29:32.346 --> 02:29:33.325
and the comfort

2537
02:29:34.346 --> 02:29:35.245
and the sedation

2538
02:29:36.025 --> 02:29:38.445
or if it's stimulating, whatever it is.

2539
02:29:39.311 --> 02:29:42.131
And you're gonna stay present to the experience

2540
02:29:42.910 --> 02:29:44.530
of full regulating with food

2541
02:29:45.150 --> 02:29:45.650
because

2542
02:29:47.311 --> 02:29:47.811
that

2543
02:29:48.750 --> 02:29:51.330
well, you bring in a felt sense of safety and support,

2544
02:29:51.705 --> 02:29:57.225
which means that as soon as you feel that, you're, like, very unlikely to needing to go off on a big binge tear.

2545
02:29:57.225 --> 02:29:58.845
You might. That's okay.

2546
02:29:59.385 --> 02:30:02.765
But you're likely to start your body just start to go right. Okay.

2547
02:30:03.561 --> 02:30:05.181
I'm resourced. I'm supported.

2548
02:30:05.400 --> 02:30:09.820
It the this activation starts to come down, and then it starts to feel like, okay.

2549
02:30:09.881 --> 02:30:11.580
I can stay present to this again.

2550
02:30:12.761 --> 02:30:15.900
The other thing it does is it breaks the dissociation pattern.

2551
02:30:16.386 --> 02:30:21.105
So when we are using and abusing food, we'll dissociate. We're not in our bodies. We're

2552
02:30:21.985 --> 02:30:24.806
and that is the payoff. That's what it's looking for.

2553
02:30:25.825 --> 02:30:30.485
That's exactly what it's looking for. So when we don't dissociate when we're using food

2554
02:30:31.859 --> 02:30:35.380
in self harming ways or in ways we don't want to be, we're using and amusing it.

2555
02:30:35.380 --> 02:30:39.159
We're stimulating or sedating ourselves with food instead of calm, grounding,

2556
02:30:39.939 --> 02:30:41.479
healing, nourishing foods.

2557
02:30:42.260 --> 02:30:44.199
This breaks the pattern

2558
02:30:44.580 --> 02:30:49.114
when we stay present to it. And as soon as you start breaking that pattern, it just starts reducing.

2559
02:30:50.215 --> 02:30:51.755
There's the payoff isn't there.

2560
02:30:55.814 --> 02:30:57.515
Pillar number one continued.

2561
02:30:57.895 --> 02:31:04.870
So if we notice ourselves turning to food, it tells us that we've probably missed some early warning clues that our body's becoming

2562
02:31:05.330 --> 02:31:05.830
stressed

2563
02:31:06.610 --> 02:31:07.350
and overwhelmed.

2564
02:31:08.610 --> 02:31:11.010
We've pushed beyond what the nervous system can handle.

2565
02:31:11.010 --> 02:31:14.465
And sometimes our nervous Christophers, our capacity is, like, really smaller.

2566
02:31:14.465 --> 02:31:16.005
Stress resilience is tiny.

2567
02:31:16.864 --> 02:31:17.505
That's okay.

2568
02:31:17.505 --> 02:31:21.604
It just means you're gonna have to figure out how to work within the capacity of your nervous system,

2569
02:31:21.984 --> 02:31:24.545
slow it all down, what can you drop, what can you let go of.

2570
02:31:24.545 --> 02:31:28.885
Now there's probably some beliefs that will come in and say, you can't let go of that, you can't do that, that you.

2571
02:31:29.180 --> 02:31:32.720
That's where you work with your beliefs, which is what we'll talk about in pillar three. When

2572
02:31:33.819 --> 02:31:40.159
we start notice ourselves starting to have food chatter, food urges, food thoughts, we get to gently ask ourselves,

2573
02:31:41.100 --> 02:31:43.439
what is my body seeking here? Is it energy

2574
02:31:44.115 --> 02:31:46.455
or is it numbing? Is it stimulation or sedation?

2575
02:31:47.235 --> 02:31:48.615
Am I looking to get

2576
02:31:50.275 --> 02:31:50.775
mobilized,

2577
02:31:51.476 --> 02:31:53.255
or am I looking to shut down?

2578
02:31:54.115 --> 02:31:59.899
It is it looking, not us. Is it looking? Is it needing energy to keep going,

2579
02:32:00.359 --> 02:32:02.300
or is it looking for help

2580
02:32:03.479 --> 02:32:05.100
to try and relax? Because

2581
02:32:05.640 --> 02:32:06.380
a body

2582
02:32:06.760 --> 02:32:10.140
in freeze is not relaxed, and it needs help

2583
02:32:10.520 --> 02:32:12.165
to try and feel a little bit relaxed,

2584
02:32:12.645 --> 02:32:17.545
substances obviously can help. That's what drugs do. Drugs fall into categories of stimulants or

2585
02:32:18.165 --> 02:32:21.305
sedative, so do so do foods and so do food behaviors.

2586
02:32:22.005 --> 02:32:25.145
So the harm reduction approach through a a trauma informed lens

2587
02:32:26.101 --> 02:32:26.601
encourages,

2588
02:32:26.980 --> 02:32:29.160
supports, and nurtures compassion and curiosity,

2589
02:32:29.620 --> 02:32:31.641
very, you know, parts work oriented,

2590
02:32:32.261 --> 02:32:35.940
choosing the least disregulating option when when reaching for food.

2591
02:32:35.940 --> 02:32:38.280
So if you need to eat something, ask yourself,

2592
02:32:38.660 --> 02:32:41.240
what would be the least harmful choice while still

2593
02:32:41.665 --> 02:32:42.725
floating my boat?

2594
02:32:43.665 --> 02:32:48.405
Knowing we can always return to recovery without fear, shame, or punishment, we cannot

2595
02:32:49.425 --> 02:32:52.865
keep doing this to ourselves. That is the a major source of threat.

2596
02:32:52.865 --> 02:32:57.290
If someone outside of you was to come in and say, when the hell were you thinking? Like, come on.

2597
02:32:57.290 --> 02:33:00.109
That's so stupid and was attacking you for your food choices.

2598
02:33:01.290 --> 02:33:06.970
Your body would be registering that as attack. I'm not safe. Right? You can't do that to yourself.

2599
02:33:06.970 --> 02:33:08.189
That is the problem

2600
02:33:08.890 --> 02:33:13.395
that we're trying to heal here. We just have to that's what we need to abstain from.

2601
02:33:13.395 --> 02:33:14.915
And you won't do it perfectly either.

2602
02:33:14.915 --> 02:33:18.455
And when you don't do it perfectly, you still don't do any of the self attack.

2603
02:33:19.395 --> 02:33:25.335
Self criticism, self attack have to stop because that is probably one of the major sources of repeat

2604
02:33:26.250 --> 02:33:29.609
perceived sense of threat. It's coming from within. It's coming from ourselves.

2605
02:33:29.609 --> 02:33:31.149
It's still a threat to the body.

2606
02:33:31.930 --> 02:33:34.189
It's not kind. It's not safe with you.

2607
02:33:35.370 --> 02:33:36.109
It's not.

2608
02:33:36.729 --> 02:33:38.189
You're criticizing it.

2609
02:33:38.815 --> 02:33:43.855
Using self regulation tools to bring activation down before it spikes into stress and collapse.

2610
02:33:43.855 --> 02:33:45.155
So we're just using

2611
02:33:46.335 --> 02:33:52.835
tools, full regulation tools, to bring ourselves down till we can get our feet under us again and go, okay.

2612
02:33:53.520 --> 02:33:54.980
What do I need to do here?

2613
02:33:58.160 --> 02:34:02.020
Safety begins with how we treat ourselves. Okay. Pillar number two, somatic work.

2614
02:34:02.320 --> 02:34:11.205
So these are gentle body based practices that help us regulate the nervous system, which means that we come into the present moment, into our body, connect to our senses, into our sensations

2615
02:34:12.705 --> 02:34:14.165
in small little moments

2616
02:34:14.545 --> 02:34:15.686
that we can manage,

2617
02:34:16.145 --> 02:34:20.645
and then we move on. And then we expand our capacity to be present to what's in the body.

2618
02:34:21.490 --> 02:34:24.610
It's not about feeling better. It's not about making the pain go away.

2619
02:34:24.610 --> 02:34:27.510
It's not there's nothing wrong with the pain. Those pain have messages.

2620
02:34:27.570 --> 02:34:29.750
Those pain the pain's there for a reason.

2621
02:34:30.210 --> 02:34:34.470
It's what helps us GPS our way out of the things that aren't working in our lives.

2622
02:34:35.795 --> 02:34:41.654
Examples include grounding, best work breath work, movement orienting, sensing to the body, gentle touch,

2623
02:34:42.994 --> 02:34:44.694
humming, singing, eye movements.

2624
02:34:44.755 --> 02:34:54.710
And then advanced somatics is where we can do parts work where we can drop in, get a felt sense of something that's in our body, and then we we can flow the ABCs, accept, appreciate, acknowledge,

2625
02:34:55.090 --> 02:35:00.070
be be with it, befriend it, see, be calm and curious, and then we can ask questions.

2626
02:35:01.425 --> 02:35:02.725
Is there something you need,

2627
02:35:04.864 --> 02:35:06.244
something you want me to know,

2628
02:35:06.545 --> 02:35:07.925
something you want me to change?

2629
02:35:09.345 --> 02:35:18.320
So somatic practices create a felt sense of safety, safety helping us come out of survival states like fight, flight, and freeze, and they work bottom up directly with the body.

2630
02:35:18.320 --> 02:35:22.400
We stay out of the emotions. We stay out of the story. We stay out of the mind.

2631
02:35:22.400 --> 02:35:24.580
We stay out of the beliefs. We stay out of the thoughts.

2632
02:35:25.200 --> 02:35:30.900
We just stay with the sensations, and we learn to track them, which for a traumatized body can sound terrifying,

2633
02:35:31.495 --> 02:35:34.235
which is why you need to do it safely, slowly.

2634
02:35:37.495 --> 02:35:42.315
Pillar number two, they teach us to be present. They rebuild trust between mind and body.

2635
02:35:42.615 --> 02:35:46.235
The mind has been not listening to the body. They've been in conflict.

2636
02:35:47.360 --> 02:35:50.480
The mind will say, no. I still have things to do. Too bad that you're tired.

2637
02:35:50.480 --> 02:35:54.320
I'm gonna go have a coffee. I'm gonna go have some sugar. Well, that's not a way to treat a body.

2638
02:35:54.320 --> 02:35:57.300
Right? And so we have to say, I'm noticing you're starting to get tired.

2639
02:35:58.800 --> 02:36:02.965
Could I take ten minutes and then we can come back at this, or is there something I can cross off my list?

2640
02:36:02.965 --> 02:36:07.545
Like, that's the rebuilding process we need to do, and somatic work is very good at doing that.

2641
02:36:07.765 --> 02:36:12.265
It reduces our fear of feelings, all of them, expands our capacity to stay present to sensations.

2642
02:36:13.045 --> 02:36:14.665
We become more regulated.

2643
02:36:14.880 --> 02:36:19.380
We spend more time in a regulated state and less time in a dysregulated state.

2644
02:36:22.399 --> 02:36:26.020
How do they support addiction recovery? They give us an experience,

2645
02:36:26.560 --> 02:36:29.220
little tiny moments of feeling parasympathetic,

2646
02:36:29.680 --> 02:36:30.660
feeling regulated,

2647
02:36:31.415 --> 02:36:32.716
feeling calm and present,

2648
02:36:33.655 --> 02:36:34.796
safe and sound,

2649
02:36:35.735 --> 02:36:37.756
and that eventually makes our dysregulation

2650
02:36:38.775 --> 02:36:39.275
aversive.

2651
02:36:39.976 --> 02:36:41.355
Right now, it's all we know.

2652
02:36:41.895 --> 02:36:46.650
It's like the safe place. It's like where we're used to operating. It's where the body feels safe.

2653
02:36:47.430 --> 02:36:49.290
Makes no sense because it's miserable.

2654
02:36:49.670 --> 02:36:50.170
But

2655
02:36:50.870 --> 02:36:52.010
when we have these

2656
02:36:52.311 --> 02:36:53.770
experiences of regulation

2657
02:36:54.710 --> 02:36:56.170
and then when we get dysregulated,

2658
02:36:57.110 --> 02:36:57.851
we're like,

2659
02:36:58.325 --> 02:37:02.585
wow. I don't want that. You don't wanna pick up the food that makes you dysregulated.

2660
02:37:03.445 --> 02:37:05.205
You wanna stay exactly where you are.

2661
02:37:05.205 --> 02:37:09.945
You no longer need it to manage dysregulation because you're no longer dysregulated.

2662
02:37:11.045 --> 02:37:12.745
It's very freaking cool.

2663
02:37:14.391 --> 02:37:19.770
Reduces the urge to use food to get or stay dysregulated. And remember, we will sometimes become

2664
02:37:20.150 --> 02:37:20.650
regulated,

2665
02:37:21.030 --> 02:37:25.125
and then we'll start having food thoughts of going back to the food to dysregulate us

2666
02:37:25.845 --> 02:37:28.505
because the feeling of being expansive

2667
02:37:29.525 --> 02:37:30.345
or relaxed

2668
02:37:30.725 --> 02:37:32.665
or vulnerable can be triggering

2669
02:37:33.045 --> 02:37:35.865
to the nervous system. But when we understand that,

2670
02:37:36.965 --> 02:37:38.745
then we could go, ah,

2671
02:37:39.290 --> 02:37:42.510
I think this feeling of being expansive and

2672
02:37:43.930 --> 02:37:47.470
soft and vulnerable is spooking my body.

2673
02:37:48.170 --> 02:37:51.686
I can do some parts work. I can do some of the advanced work. Work.

2674
02:37:51.686 --> 02:37:59.545
There's some part of me right now that's freaking out because my heart is opening, and I'm starting to feel a love for life or or dreams or something

2675
02:38:00.405 --> 02:38:01.545
that might be spooky.

2676
02:38:03.620 --> 02:38:08.840
We are more attuned to the capacity of our nervous system and catch it before it goes into fight, flight, freeze, and fawn

2677
02:38:09.300 --> 02:38:11.720
where relapse happens. So we can catch

2678
02:38:12.660 --> 02:38:17.880
when we're starting to go we're getting a little too activated, and we can do something about it earlier

2679
02:38:18.385 --> 02:38:23.284
before it starts screaming for sugar to keep it you know, to stay to stay mobilized,

2680
02:38:23.665 --> 02:38:31.524
or we can catch it before our body drops into freeze, before it goes fully dorsal on us where relapse is very highly likely.

2681
02:38:31.904 --> 02:38:33.444
So that can support

2682
02:38:34.120 --> 02:38:34.940
addiction recovery.

2683
02:38:35.640 --> 02:38:36.460
And slowly

2684
02:38:37.240 --> 02:38:40.540
restore a sense of safety, and then we can take in more support.

2685
02:38:41.479 --> 02:38:44.380
And then we're able to surrender more and more to

2686
02:38:45.000 --> 02:38:45.740
the true

2687
02:38:46.120 --> 02:38:49.100
experience of being a spiritual being in a human body.

2688
02:38:52.095 --> 02:38:54.274
There's two core parts of the somatic

2689
02:38:54.654 --> 02:38:56.975
there's just two main parts of somatic work.

2690
02:38:56.975 --> 02:38:59.314
There's something called titration, something called pendulation.

2691
02:38:59.375 --> 02:39:06.250
Titration is tiny moments of felt of dropping into the present moment, calm and aware to your body and sensations and senses.

2692
02:39:06.711 --> 02:39:07.211
And

2693
02:39:07.671 --> 02:39:12.330
pendulation is where we're able to move from states of unpleasantness to pleasantness,

2694
02:39:12.950 --> 02:39:13.931
from from

2695
02:39:14.391 --> 02:39:15.851
activation to safety.

2696
02:39:16.551 --> 02:39:17.051
And

2697
02:39:18.556 --> 02:39:20.016
it really is that simple.

2698
02:39:21.756 --> 02:39:25.195
Okay. Advanced thematic work. This is parts work.

2699
02:39:25.195 --> 02:39:30.176
I like the parts work taught by Anne Weiser Cornell. It comes from the work of Jean Genlin

2700
02:39:30.721 --> 02:39:31.860
who teaches focusing,

2701
02:39:32.480 --> 02:39:36.261
and it's really where you do the ABCs, and then you do the d where you dialogue,

2702
02:39:36.961 --> 02:39:42.020
where you you get a sense that there's a part of me that's feeling something, and you start to build relationships.

2703
02:39:43.065 --> 02:39:44.665
I consider this advanced somatics.

2704
02:39:44.665 --> 02:39:49.065
I think for most people, they need to do the beginner somatics works to do this really well.

2705
02:39:49.065 --> 02:39:50.765
Not probably not always true,

2706
02:39:51.305 --> 02:39:51.805
but

2707
02:39:52.905 --> 02:39:57.805
I think that people can do advanced somatics works, but not have it work for food recovery.

2708
02:39:57.865 --> 02:40:06.020
Because until you've been able to cue to your body that there's a a mind body repair work happening, that the body is safe with you,

2709
02:40:06.800 --> 02:40:08.180
I'm not sure that

2710
02:40:09.760 --> 02:40:12.420
that that parts work is enough

2711
02:40:13.976 --> 02:40:14.875
to get you

2712
02:40:15.575 --> 02:40:17.516
into a place of peace with food,

2713
02:40:18.375 --> 02:40:20.955
to get you into a place where you don't need it.

2714
02:40:22.775 --> 02:40:23.915
Hope that makes sense.

2715
02:40:24.936 --> 02:40:25.436
Okay.

2716
02:40:26.455 --> 02:40:29.035
Yeah. So this is great work to do after we've

2717
02:40:29.431 --> 02:40:34.971
developed the capacity to be able to be with any sensations in the body, and the body starts to feel safe with the mind.

2718
02:40:36.551 --> 02:40:37.750
IFS work can do this.

2719
02:40:38.471 --> 02:40:38.971
Interrelationship

2720
02:40:39.351 --> 02:40:41.370
focusing can do this. It can do this.

2721
02:40:41.895 --> 02:40:46.875
But if I if I was to recommend a place to start, I would start with beginner somatic works and then do the advanced.

2722
02:40:47.255 --> 02:40:49.354
K. Pillar number three. Final pillar.

2723
02:40:50.454 --> 02:40:51.274
This is

2724
02:40:52.454 --> 02:40:54.234
where we work with

2725
02:40:54.694 --> 02:40:55.515
our our.

2726
02:40:56.720 --> 02:40:59.940
I'm gonna just summarize this instead of going through the slide. So, basically,

2727
02:41:01.520 --> 02:41:05.200
we need to become an energetic vibrational match for the good that we want.

2728
02:41:05.200 --> 02:41:09.360
Maybe that's peace with food. Maybe it's weight loss. Maybe it's something else. Maybe it's a lover.

2729
02:41:09.360 --> 02:41:10.095
Maybe it's

2730
02:41:10.975 --> 02:41:13.795
a bigger friend group, maybe it's whatever it is.

2731
02:41:14.175 --> 02:41:19.234
Whatever it is that we want, that good thing that is a divine desire in our

2732
02:41:19.614 --> 02:41:20.595
in our hearts,

2733
02:41:22.015 --> 02:41:23.234
we need to know

2734
02:41:24.230 --> 02:41:27.690
that all those positive beliefs, it's possible, it's safe,

2735
02:41:28.870 --> 02:41:30.250
we're worthy of it.

2736
02:41:31.030 --> 02:41:32.811
And if we don't believe those,

2737
02:41:34.311 --> 02:41:37.130
we're not gonna become a vibrational match for it.

2738
02:41:37.785 --> 02:41:41.324
So what we do is we use law of attraction work

2739
02:41:41.944 --> 02:41:47.965
to imagine having what we want, that there is a genie and you get a magic wish, or maybe you have a fairy godmother.

2740
02:41:48.505 --> 02:41:49.005
Maybe

2741
02:41:50.505 --> 02:41:51.165
you got

2742
02:41:52.020 --> 02:41:53.160
him or herself,

2743
02:41:53.940 --> 02:42:00.280
you know, hears your prayer and grants you your, you know, the answer the prayer of the the the answer to the prayer that you've given.

2744
02:42:00.660 --> 02:42:03.940
Maybe it's just some stranger randomly shows up and gives it to you.

2745
02:42:03.940 --> 02:42:09.715
Whatever it is, however it shows up to you, you imagine this good thing has come to you, and then you feel it.

2746
02:42:09.715 --> 02:42:13.016
You embody it. You know that it's yours. You know that it's

2747
02:42:15.155 --> 02:42:18.455
it's a done deal. You know that this cannot happen.

2748
02:42:19.395 --> 02:42:20.295
You you know

2749
02:42:20.675 --> 02:42:21.175
that

2750
02:42:23.311 --> 02:42:23.811
it's

2751
02:42:24.430 --> 02:42:29.070
an answered prayer for you, and then you start imagining how you would feel when it comes to you.

2752
02:42:29.070 --> 02:42:32.990
You feel gratitude. You feel joy. You feel energized. You feel this little lift in energy.

2753
02:42:32.990 --> 02:42:33.811
You feel like,

2754
02:42:34.405 --> 02:42:38.005
I can't believe it. You know? And then maybe you start to do law of attraction tools.

2755
02:42:38.005 --> 02:42:40.965
Like, you start vibing to it. Like, oh my god. I can't believe this happened. This city happened.

2756
02:42:40.965 --> 02:42:43.125
This is a miracle. I can't believe it. I blah blah blah.

2757
02:42:43.125 --> 02:42:49.020
And you start hyping yourselves up, and you're feeling it, and your vibrational match, and your body is embodying it.

2758
02:42:49.260 --> 02:42:51.199
Your body feels it to be true.

2759
02:42:51.979 --> 02:42:52.720
And then

2760
02:42:53.260 --> 02:42:57.340
if there's no resistance, it's yours. It's just a matter of course it's gonna come.

2761
02:42:57.340 --> 02:43:04.479
But if there's a thing, there's a voice, there's a sense that something's telling you that you can't have that,

2762
02:43:05.555 --> 02:43:06.055
then

2763
02:43:07.395 --> 02:43:08.055
you know

2764
02:43:09.075 --> 02:43:13.015
what's unconscious, then you know what stands between you and having what you want.

2765
02:43:13.395 --> 02:43:19.015
So this is basically the manifestation, the manifesting process, the law of attraction applied to trauma recovery.

2766
02:43:20.530 --> 02:43:22.790
It applied specifically to food recovery.

2767
02:43:23.250 --> 02:43:26.631
So we need to be a match, an energetic vibrational match.

2768
02:43:27.170 --> 02:43:28.150
We need to know

2769
02:43:28.610 --> 02:43:31.511
that the thing that we want, we can feel

2770
02:43:32.035 --> 02:43:35.895
as though it's already a done deal. Let's say you want weight loss. If you don't know

2771
02:43:36.355 --> 02:43:39.655
what it would feel like to be in a body at your goal weight,

2772
02:43:41.315 --> 02:43:43.335
it's gonna be more difficult to get there.

2773
02:43:44.675 --> 02:43:47.335
But if you can drop in and feel it,

2774
02:43:47.820 --> 02:44:03.040
and you can see your body, and it's a miracle, and it's amazing, and maybe you look at images from the Internet, or maybe you just let your imagination paint it all, and you feel it, and it is yours, and it feels safe, and it feels wonderful, and you know you're worthy, and it's exactly what you want, and it's a match,

2775
02:44:03.465 --> 02:44:13.064
and you have total trust that you will be guided to your next steps, that the path forward to that goal will be made clear, and that you are willing to do your part or always willing to do your part.

2776
02:44:13.064 --> 02:44:14.445
And all that's lined up

2777
02:44:15.865 --> 02:44:16.024
and

2778
02:44:17.830 --> 02:44:21.529
but you feel as, oh, I don't really believe it, that's the work.

2779
02:44:21.830 --> 02:44:23.689
Because the I don't really believe it,

2780
02:44:24.949 --> 02:44:26.250
that is the unconscious

2781
02:44:26.710 --> 02:44:28.489
fear of getting that.

2782
02:44:28.870 --> 02:44:29.370
So

2783
02:44:29.675 --> 02:44:34.475
if you're not you you can be a vibrational match for abstinence, but are you a vibrational match for the weight loss?

2784
02:44:34.475 --> 02:44:40.175
Are you a vibrational match for the sensations and emotions coming up? Are you a vibrational match

2785
02:44:40.875 --> 02:44:44.895
for losing weight, looking sexy, and getting hit on by guys? Like, I don't know. Like,

2786
02:44:45.410 --> 02:44:50.390
there's layers and layers and layers of the way that we we we need to work with

2787
02:44:51.570 --> 02:44:56.550
the good, good, good that's gonna be coming into our lives as we walk the food food recovery path.

2788
02:44:56.610 --> 02:45:00.311
And there's potentially core beliefs that are still in the way

2789
02:45:01.065 --> 02:45:01.565
of

2790
02:45:02.025 --> 02:45:05.565
there's a part of you that doesn't believe it's safe, doesn't believe you're worthy of it.

2791
02:45:05.705 --> 02:45:07.245
I actually totally believe

2792
02:45:07.546 --> 02:45:09.006
that there's no way.

2793
02:45:09.785 --> 02:45:13.565
I don't believe it's possible for somebody to have a food issue

2794
02:45:15.780 --> 02:45:17.859
without there being unworthiness at the core of it.

2795
02:45:17.859 --> 02:45:26.439
Because if we were worthy for of recovery, if we truly thought we were worthy of it and that it was safe and that it was possible, we would have it.

2796
02:45:26.500 --> 02:45:30.760
We would just have it. What we believe we're worthy of, what we believe is possible, what we believe

2797
02:45:31.665 --> 02:45:35.425
is safe, we just have. We just make it happen. We just receive it. We just ask for it.

2798
02:45:35.425 --> 02:45:36.805
We make it happen. We just

2799
02:45:37.425 --> 02:45:43.290
there's there's there's one of those three things that are that are blocking us, and we need to work with them.

2800
02:45:43.530 --> 02:45:47.950
So by doing the mental rehearsals, we flush them to the surface, and then we work with them,

2801
02:45:48.650 --> 02:45:54.170
and then we we keep it. And then our work becomes keep coming back to becoming a vibrational match.

2802
02:45:54.170 --> 02:45:57.790
We keep flowing the joy and the gratitude. Oh my god. I'm so freaking grateful

2803
02:45:58.410 --> 02:45:59.225
that I

2804
02:45:59.685 --> 02:46:01.625
have whatever it is that you have.

2805
02:46:02.165 --> 02:46:07.145
And you just keep flowing and keep becoming a vibrational match because this is how the universe works.

2806
02:46:07.364 --> 02:46:09.225
These are universal spiritual principles.

2807
02:46:10.165 --> 02:46:13.351
Ask, believe, and receive. That's just how it works.

2808
02:46:13.351 --> 02:46:16.091
Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not,

2809
02:46:16.551 --> 02:46:18.971
it's just how the we're always manifesting.

2810
02:46:21.431 --> 02:46:21.931
Okay.

2811
02:46:23.110 --> 02:46:30.055
So and then we can use different tools to support us to become a vibrational match, affirmations, meditation, safety scripts,

2812
02:46:30.355 --> 02:46:32.675
mind movies, visualizations, blah blah blah blah blah.

2813
02:46:32.675 --> 02:46:38.375
There's so many different ways we can do this, and we just kinda play with the different ones that work for us until we know.

2814
02:46:38.620 --> 02:46:42.620
When we've got it, you will know. There is no faking it. There's no it's not mental.

2815
02:46:42.620 --> 02:46:46.160
It's an embodied it's like you are the person who has that.

2816
02:46:46.700 --> 02:46:48.080
And when the body

2817
02:46:49.500 --> 02:46:53.360
can feel that and it's excited and it feels joy and gratitude,

2818
02:46:54.266 --> 02:46:55.086
it's safe.

2819
02:46:56.186 --> 02:46:57.245
Right? The body

2820
02:46:57.625 --> 02:47:00.046
has a moment of feeling safe. You have pendulated

2821
02:47:00.985 --> 02:47:05.386
to an experience where the body doesn't just feel safe. It feels supported. It feels excited.

2822
02:47:05.386 --> 02:47:10.610
It feels like it's flowing elevated emotions. It's the dead opposite of trauma. You are healing

2823
02:47:10.990 --> 02:47:11.490
trauma.

2824
02:47:12.189 --> 02:47:15.550
You are healing trauma, and you start to feel like, right. The universe does have my back.

2825
02:47:15.550 --> 02:47:18.750
Things start to manifest. You're like, I'm not alone. I can have what I want.

2826
02:47:18.750 --> 02:47:19.810
They're divine desires.

2827
02:47:20.030 --> 02:47:24.370
There's nothing in my heart that I wasn't meant to have that I can't have if I do

2828
02:47:25.055 --> 02:47:28.515
this Kick of work. And this work is really beautiful and really important.

2829
02:47:30.015 --> 02:47:31.075
Okay. So

2830
02:47:32.895 --> 02:47:37.535
I think this is my last slide before we can do a somatic exercise, then I'll open it up to live q and a.

2831
02:47:37.535 --> 02:47:41.471
So more supportive beliefs. So these are some of the beliefs that also can support recovery.

2832
02:47:42.090 --> 02:47:43.790
I'm ready to drop the struggle.

2833
02:47:44.891 --> 02:47:47.311
I'm ready to let this be easy.

2834
02:47:48.811 --> 02:47:51.770
What I want is possible. My divine my desires are divine.

2835
02:47:51.770 --> 02:47:56.435
My desires were given to me by my hair soft, by God to guide me forward. They can be trusted.

2836
02:47:56.735 --> 02:47:57.795
If I want it,

2837
02:47:59.215 --> 02:48:02.995
I get to have it. There's no reason. Right? There's stuff to do

2838
02:48:03.535 --> 02:48:08.175
to that might be in the way of it, but I trust that I can always ask for the next right step.

2839
02:48:08.175 --> 02:48:09.660
The path will be made clear.

2840
02:48:09.660 --> 02:48:14.220
I always have the strength and courage to do my part, and you can ask for it if you need it.

2841
02:48:14.220 --> 02:48:17.359
I can ask for the strength and courage to be willing to do my part,

2842
02:48:17.739 --> 02:48:20.800
and we just need to be willing to always

2843
02:48:21.575 --> 02:48:25.995
do our part. I'm worthy of the good things I desire simply because I'm worthy,

2844
02:48:26.535 --> 02:48:35.515
simply because I want them, simply because I'm a human being, and that's what we're here to do, to keep up leveling, to find higher and higher elevated states, to keep

2845
02:48:36.511 --> 02:48:39.011
bringing more love, more joy, and more gratitude

2846
02:48:39.550 --> 02:48:41.170
to to our days, to our life.

2847
02:48:41.870 --> 02:48:45.811
And that doesn't end with age. That does not diminish by age. That can even increase.

2848
02:48:46.830 --> 02:48:50.431
I'm ready to turn this all around Kick experience peace with food. I've done

2849
02:48:51.035 --> 02:48:55.195
everything I've done up to this point has been adding up. It's all working in my favor.

2850
02:48:55.195 --> 02:48:59.755
Everything's working in my favor. I'm bringing it all together now. I'm turning a corner.

2851
02:48:59.755 --> 02:49:01.695
I'm ready to let this be easy now.

2852
02:49:02.075 --> 02:49:03.455
I can have peace with food

2853
02:49:03.830 --> 02:49:07.610
because I want peace with food, and I can have what I want.

2854
02:49:07.990 --> 02:49:10.630
My wants are divine nudges and will be divinely supported.

2855
02:49:10.630 --> 02:49:13.770
So those are just examples of where we need to get to.

2856
02:49:17.445 --> 02:49:18.266
Alright. Summary.

2857
02:49:18.645 --> 02:49:24.505
I'm proposing that there's more than one pathway driving our desire to consume sugar and ultra processed foods, and both pathways

2858
02:49:25.045 --> 02:49:26.085
contribute to relapse.

2859
02:49:26.085 --> 02:49:31.306
And for a long, long time, I was always blaming my relapse on it on the addictive,

2860
02:49:31.910 --> 02:49:34.790
on the fact that the foods were Kick well, I was an addict.

2861
02:49:34.790 --> 02:49:37.370
I had an addiction, and the foods were addictive.

2862
02:49:37.910 --> 02:49:42.490
But there's another pathway, the nervous system pathway, and it cannot be resolved through abstinence.

2863
02:49:42.710 --> 02:49:43.450
No amount

2864
02:49:44.070 --> 02:49:46.090
of abstinence is going to

2865
02:49:46.575 --> 02:49:49.935
heal trauma. It helps. Don't get me wrong. All self care helps.

2866
02:49:49.935 --> 02:49:51.795
Everything we do with the addiction recovery

2867
02:49:52.335 --> 02:49:52.835
helps,

2868
02:49:53.455 --> 02:49:56.755
but it does not in and of itself without some targeted

2869
02:49:57.135 --> 02:49:58.035
trauma informed

2870
02:49:58.575 --> 02:49:59.075
processes,

2871
02:50:00.770 --> 02:50:02.550
we're we're likely to just keep struggling.

2872
02:50:05.170 --> 02:50:10.390
We begin to understand that we need to move out of chronic states of dysregulation before we can get and stay abstinent.

2873
02:50:10.529 --> 02:50:12.710
This path asks us to move slowly,

2874
02:50:13.135 --> 02:50:16.194
focus on harm reduction while we phase out food that isn't grounding.

2875
02:50:16.814 --> 02:50:20.274
We stay present to our slips and relapses so we can break the dissociation,

2876
02:50:21.135 --> 02:50:22.354
the payoff of that.

2877
02:50:22.494 --> 02:50:28.194
And as we do this work, this deeper trauma informed recovery work, we don't just heal our relationship with food, our bodies.

2878
02:50:28.370 --> 02:50:31.670
We shift out of chronic states of fear into a felt sense of safety,

2879
02:50:32.050 --> 02:50:32.950
and this changes

2880
02:50:34.370 --> 02:50:34.870
everything.

2881
02:50:35.410 --> 02:50:40.870
It is first, foremost, and fundamentally a spiritual awakening process. This is the great work.

2882
02:50:41.225 --> 02:50:44.204
This is what all humans are here to potentially do

2883
02:50:45.225 --> 02:50:46.505
if we're up for it.

2884
02:50:46.505 --> 02:50:51.085
And so for those of us who chronically relapse, we are so freaking lucky that our

2885
02:50:51.465 --> 02:50:54.204
desire to get right with food

2886
02:50:54.660 --> 02:50:57.080
and to have the benefits of food recovery,

2887
02:50:57.860 --> 02:51:00.200
that keeps pushing us into

2888
02:51:00.979 --> 02:51:05.479
this work, into the deeper work, into the great spiritual awakening work.

2889
02:51:05.700 --> 02:51:08.040
Because the bottom line is is we are spiritual

2890
02:51:08.820 --> 02:51:09.320
beings

2891
02:51:09.925 --> 02:51:13.305
in a body. We are loved. We come from phenomenal

2892
02:51:14.245 --> 02:51:18.745
spiritual support, but we're just disconnected when we're in a traumatized body, and we need to reconnect.

2893
02:51:19.205 --> 02:51:20.425
And everything changes.

2894
02:51:20.965 --> 02:51:22.425
Everything chase changes.

2895
02:51:24.109 --> 02:51:28.290
And now if you would like to do a somatic exercise with me,

2896
02:51:30.750 --> 02:51:31.229
we can,

2897
02:51:31.790 --> 02:51:32.850
we can do one.

2898
02:51:38.735 --> 02:51:41.215
Hey. I know we're tired. We've been here a long time.

2899
02:51:41.215 --> 02:51:44.915
I cannot believe how many people have been sticking with me through all of this.

2900
02:51:45.375 --> 02:51:46.516
Thank you for that.

2901
02:51:46.575 --> 02:51:49.810
It would be absolutely humiliating if I looked up and there were two people there.

2902
02:51:49.810 --> 02:51:52.710
Like, everyone's dropped off. I wouldn't have blamed you one bit,

2903
02:51:53.650 --> 02:51:54.150
but

2904
02:51:55.010 --> 02:51:56.070
we're here together,

2905
02:51:56.770 --> 02:51:57.670
all of us.

2906
02:51:59.250 --> 02:52:00.310
72.

2907
02:52:02.375 --> 02:52:05.915
Probably mostly women, and I'm delighted if there's men, but

2908
02:52:06.535 --> 02:52:07.676
usually it is.

2909
02:52:10.136 --> 02:52:16.476
It is usually a community of women who struggle with this, and it has brought us to some very, very dark places, really

2910
02:52:16.900 --> 02:52:18.440
frustrating self loathing places.

2911
02:52:19.221 --> 02:52:21.800
And we just have to this just has to stop.

2912
02:52:22.260 --> 02:52:23.480
No more self loathing.

2913
02:52:24.260 --> 02:52:27.880
No more thinking we need to get more desperate. That isn't the energy.

2914
02:52:28.181 --> 02:52:33.525
It can be helpful a little bit because it's got that sympathetic charge to it, and it can motivate us to take action.

2915
02:52:33.985 --> 02:52:36.405
But, really, what we wanna start calling in

2916
02:52:36.785 --> 02:52:37.686
is a deep

2917
02:52:39.025 --> 02:52:39.525
understanding

2918
02:52:40.945 --> 02:52:41.926
that our bodies

2919
02:52:43.681 --> 02:52:44.421
are traumatized.

2920
02:52:45.601 --> 02:52:47.381
There are really difficult,

2921
02:52:48.320 --> 02:52:50.261
overwhelming things that we live through

2922
02:52:51.120 --> 02:52:51.620
that

2923
02:52:52.960 --> 02:52:54.660
are still living in our bodies,

2924
02:52:55.200 --> 02:52:55.940
and we

2925
02:52:56.766 --> 02:53:02.065
we can do simple things to support the body, to resolve them, to let them go, to reintegrate the energy,

2926
02:53:02.766 --> 02:53:04.065
to begin to experience

2927
02:53:05.085 --> 02:53:05.905
more safety

2928
02:53:06.605 --> 02:53:07.905
inside and outside.

2929
02:53:09.120 --> 02:53:09.620
So

2930
02:53:11.359 --> 02:53:12.659
for a somatic exercise

2931
02:53:16.800 --> 02:53:17.859
just one moment.

2932
02:53:20.925 --> 02:53:21.425
I

2933
02:53:25.484 --> 02:53:25.984
think

2934
02:53:29.885 --> 02:53:32.045
I think I just wanna say a quick prayer before this.

2935
02:53:32.045 --> 02:53:38.770
I don't know why I'm feeling called to do this, but so dear god, universe, source, angels, whatever works for you,

2936
02:53:39.310 --> 02:53:41.170
thank you for bringing all of us together.

2937
02:53:41.950 --> 02:53:42.850
This is about

2938
02:53:43.229 --> 02:53:46.290
me passing on what others have gifted me with insights,

2939
02:53:46.670 --> 02:53:47.729
tools of recovery,

2940
02:53:48.585 --> 02:53:51.404
decades of work of insights that have been building

2941
02:53:51.944 --> 02:53:57.085
that allow us to be able to share them in simple ways now and to have them make a difference in our lives.

2942
02:53:58.665 --> 02:54:01.404
I've had my life transformed by this material,

2943
02:54:01.990 --> 02:54:05.050
totally transformed. I'm not healed yet. I'm on a journey,

2944
02:54:05.590 --> 02:54:06.410
but I know

2945
02:54:07.590 --> 02:54:11.130
that I'm heading in the right direction. The healing is happening. I am more regulated,

2946
02:54:12.150 --> 02:54:17.846
and my food is deeply peaceful today in a way that hasn't been before, and I don't know if I get to hang on to it.

2947
02:54:17.846 --> 02:54:18.346
But

2948
02:54:18.806 --> 02:54:25.625
I wish all this for everyone else that's just learning this information, maybe new, maybe again, maybe from a different angle.

2949
02:54:26.740 --> 02:54:28.040
Maybe it's just a refresher.

2950
02:54:28.660 --> 02:54:32.840
But god be with all of us women who struggle with food in these ways,

2951
02:54:33.620 --> 02:54:35.080
and help us to know

2952
02:54:35.620 --> 02:54:40.440
that we are never alone, that our steps are guided, that we can ask for help, that this

2953
02:54:41.015 --> 02:54:45.994
any trauma can be healed, that what we want, we can have, that we're worthy of it, that it's possible,

2954
02:54:47.175 --> 02:54:51.574
that we just have to be willing to do our little part and that the universe, god, the

2955
02:54:52.295 --> 02:54:54.395
will take care of the rest. Doors will open,

2956
02:54:55.210 --> 02:54:55.710
synchronicities,

2957
02:54:56.410 --> 02:54:56.910
miracles,

2958
02:54:58.490 --> 02:55:02.990
shifts. Weight will just fall off our body, or maybe it just slowly

2959
02:55:04.170 --> 02:55:08.590
melts away. But we don't have to be in the weeds. We just need to know what we want

2960
02:55:09.346 --> 02:55:13.046
and to be and stay a vibrational match for it.

2961
02:55:13.426 --> 02:55:18.325
That that's how we were intended to be moving through life, and our trauma got disconnected

2962
02:55:18.785 --> 02:55:23.445
from our bodies that gives us the feedback we need to course correct from our

2963
02:55:23.750 --> 02:55:25.450
from our own heart, from our

2964
02:55:25.830 --> 02:55:28.170
own family, from people who love us,

2965
02:55:28.630 --> 02:55:30.010
and from source itself.

2966
02:55:30.070 --> 02:55:35.450
And please have all of this be restored on our journey of food recovery because all of this is implicated.

2967
02:55:36.766 --> 02:55:38.705
I pray that what I taught here today

2968
02:55:39.165 --> 02:55:42.445
will go into their hearts, into their lives, and that they will pay it forward.

2969
02:55:42.445 --> 02:55:43.665
They will pass it on.

2970
02:55:44.045 --> 02:55:52.065
It's like I Summit lit my candle, and I'm trying to light the candles of other women, and they're gonna turn around to light the candles of other women and other men.

2971
02:55:52.580 --> 02:55:59.320
And that together, we can slowly start to turn around the despair that's associated with food and food recovery.

2972
02:56:02.500 --> 02:56:03.480
Thank you, Amin.

2973
02:56:03.860 --> 02:56:05.960
Alright. So to do a somatic exercise,

2974
02:56:06.500 --> 02:56:08.355
let's begin by taking three deep

2975
02:56:09.235 --> 02:56:10.695
breaths. And I just invite

2976
02:56:14.195 --> 02:56:17.256
I invite you to become a little bit more calm,

2977
02:56:20.355 --> 02:56:21.735
a little bit more present,

2978
02:56:25.060 --> 02:56:26.520
and a little bit more aware

2979
02:56:27.380 --> 02:56:30.279
of what it's like to be totally in this moment.

2980
02:56:33.300 --> 02:56:36.040
All of us here together doing this great work.

2981
02:56:37.235 --> 02:56:39.735
We don't need to know each other. We just need to know.

2982
02:56:41.795 --> 02:56:42.855
This is courageous.

2983
02:56:43.555 --> 02:56:44.615
This is beautiful.

2984
02:56:46.195 --> 02:56:47.575
This is the path forward.

2985
02:56:53.170 --> 02:56:55.350
Take three deep breaths and with each exhalation,

2986
02:56:58.050 --> 02:56:59.670
invite your body to settle

2987
02:57:01.170 --> 02:57:03.430
and relax just a little bit more.

2988
02:57:12.725 --> 02:57:16.664
See if you can invite your shoulders to drop just a little bit more

2989
02:57:17.685 --> 02:57:18.425
to soften.

2990
02:57:23.109 --> 02:57:26.010
Maybe the muscles in your face, around your eyes,

2991
02:57:27.830 --> 02:57:28.890
around your lips,

2992
02:57:31.990 --> 02:57:33.130
around your jaw.

2993
02:57:35.245 --> 02:57:37.266
Just soften a little bit more.

2994
02:57:46.686 --> 02:57:48.785
Now staying with the breath breath.

2995
02:57:52.990 --> 02:57:54.210
See if you can notice

2996
02:57:55.070 --> 02:57:56.770
what it would feel like if you

2997
02:57:57.150 --> 02:57:59.330
softened your breath. What does a soft

2998
02:57:59.631 --> 02:58:01.330
breath feel like for you?

2999
02:58:12.985 --> 02:58:16.846
And can you notice a difference between the air coming in your nose?

3000
02:58:17.386 --> 02:58:18.926
If you're breathing through your nose

3001
02:58:19.750 --> 02:58:22.810
they are leaving your nose. Can you notice a temperature change?

3002
02:58:34.545 --> 02:58:35.525
Now can you take

3003
02:58:36.145 --> 02:58:40.165
the finger of your index, your index finger, and place it to your thumb?

3004
02:58:41.905 --> 02:58:44.485
Just sort of press into the pads of your finger.

3005
02:58:45.345 --> 02:58:46.805
Just notice those sensations,

3006
02:58:47.185 --> 02:58:48.325
what that's like.

3007
02:58:50.539 --> 02:58:53.199
See if you can notice the sensation on your thumb

3008
02:58:55.899 --> 02:58:58.479
versus the sensation on your index finger.

3009
02:59:04.045 --> 02:59:06.385
Be so exquisitely focused. Like, it's

3010
02:59:06.925 --> 02:59:08.625
all you have to focus on.

3011
02:59:16.520 --> 02:59:17.020
Now

3012
02:59:18.120 --> 02:59:19.500
what I'd like you to do

3013
02:59:21.479 --> 02:59:23.819
is notice what sounds you can hear.

3014
02:59:30.346 --> 02:59:33.165
And what's the furthest away sound you can hear

3015
02:59:34.426 --> 02:59:35.645
way off in the distance

3016
02:59:36.025 --> 02:59:37.565
if there's anything at all?

3017
02:59:46.840 --> 02:59:48.380
What's the closest sound?

3018
02:59:51.800 --> 02:59:54.140
Can you notice the sound of your own breathing?

3019
03:00:12.080 --> 03:00:14.820
Now with each exhalation, can you invite your body

3020
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to become even more relaxed,

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even more present to this moment?

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And when you feel ready, you can put your hand on your chest,

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and you can come back.