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Don't want my church community to necessarily find out that I speak about having wealth and, like, acquiring wealth and using it for for good.

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And, like, some people can take that as, like, oh, she's not holy, which is very common among Christians.

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It's holy if you don't have a lot of money. That's what we are told.

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You can be Catholic and faithful to the religion and want money and visibility and have money and visibility and all these things.

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These are not in conflict. God wants you

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to be rich so that you can enjoy all the beautiful things that God created.

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And you can acquire books, and you can go travel places, and you can have nice things because God created all of it.

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How many other

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Christians

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and specifically Catholics

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do you think struggle with a similar kind of thing? Oh, so many.

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And that's part of why I've felt like I need to start talking about it and like exploring it myself.

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And the more you do from a perspective of I don't have the answers, but I'm struggling with this and this is what I'm finding that I think is gonna resonate like fuck.

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In the online industry, it's like, you have to be the authority, be the expert.

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What would you say to that? Bullshit. You don't have to be the authority.

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You have to be fucking real.

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Welcome everybody to another episode of

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Recode Your Mind with Calvin Carelli. I got with me here today, Bridgette.

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Bridgette,

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tell us about your business.

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Yes, on

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Simplero anyways, I own Loretta Wellness and what I do is help 6 and 7 figure entrepreneurs really rewire their mind,

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similar to you.

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So

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rewire their mind and their nervous system, regulate their nervous system so that they can actually reach that level that they are achieving without feeling so frazzled.

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And

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honestly, I hear all the time, I just don't want to be a psycho. And so without

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becoming

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a psycho

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and getting to that next level. So yeah. What does that mean being a psycho?

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Well,

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it's so funny. I hear this all. I work primarily with women and so

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I've heard this all the time where they're like, I just turned into a psycho and I have asked them like, what does that mean?

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So it's a little bit different for every single person, but I think generally speaking, it probably means

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for the masses at least, that they are somebody that they don't really like, and that they do and say things that it's like their normal self would never do and say.

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So it's just that,

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again, like yelling at their kids,

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snapping at their husband or spouse, like just doing things that it's

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not really them,

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but it's their way of trying to cope with all of the things that they have going on.

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Got it. And so they come to you to stop being psychos.

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If you want to put it that way, yes. Yes. All right, cool. Yeah, you're the

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psycho destroyer.

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Yes.

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Okay, got it. That's cool.

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So yeah, can I, how can I serve today? What is the thing that you want to

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achieve? Or what's the challenge you want to overcome in your business?

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Well, I think one of the biggest things and again, I have two businesses actually.

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So I want some Plaro, which is this one Loretta Wellness, and then we have an in person one.

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And we have a farm in Pennsylvania, where we do weddings and events.

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And so that one's been running now for like thirteen, fourteen years, somewhere around there.

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And then this one online here has been on for,

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I don't even know, five, six years, I forget how many years.

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And so

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it's been sort of interesting to see how everything has shifted,

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especially in the last five or six years or so, both in person and online.

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And I think one of the biggest things,

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and again, I'm giving you some background just so you understand where it's coming from,

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is that

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pre

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probably 2022,

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getting weddings and events booked was like no problem. It was so simple.

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It was so straightforward because

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one, we

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the market pretty, we had the market in our area, our physical area.

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But now, and similar to the coaching businesses online,

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there's so many.

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And it's like,

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in our county alone, and we have a small county, we have, I literally live in Amish country.

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So it's like, there's not that many people here.

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There's like 36 different wedding venues now. There's tons and tons of competition.

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And they all look kind of the same, but like not exactly the same.

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And so I think that that has kind of spread also into the coaching industry online where it's like, it seems like everybody's kind of in it and doing it.

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So how do I really,

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one, distinguish myself

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from everybody else?

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And I'm not just talking like,

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be more authentic and do this and that, how do I actually show people I'm a real person and I really care about you and if you join, you're going to get amazing service.

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And two,

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where do you even find some of these people?

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Because again, my niche is sort of a unique one where it's yes, working with 6 and 7 figure entrepreneurs,

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but not only just that, they're also Christian and faith based.

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So it seems like it's even a little bit harder to find those.

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So I think the two big things is distinguishing,

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again, not just surface level stuff, but like deeper.

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And then two, how to even find those like right fit clients.

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Understood, yeah. So you're saying like there's like 30

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additional

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wedding venues that have popped up in a few years? Yes. In your area?

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Again, where I live, it's like big into the barn dominium style.

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And so we have an old barn, it's from 1905.

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Oh, barn dominium?

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Oh, yeah. So it's like, it looks like a looks

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like a barn, but it's enclosed, it has AC, it has heating, it has like, almost think like barnindustrial

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look.

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That's what it looks like versus ours is like literally an old barn.

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And so that's very popular in our space or in our area.

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Okay,

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and so there's just now tons of people have turned their barns into this kind of thing?

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Not even turned them in. They built them specifically for this. Oh, wow. Okay.

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Fascinating. So yeah. I'm just curious. Like, what is that?

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Is that just, like is it kinda like the Airbnb craze? People are like, hey.

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I can make some extra money with this.

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But if you're building a whole barn for the purpose of this, like, you're investing some some serious capital Yeah.

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For sure.

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So is this attracting people from out of state, from other places to there? Is it

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Somewhat, yeah. I'm kind of in the again, I'm in Pennsylvania,

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and I'm kind of right in the middle of Erie,

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PA,

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which is a pretty large city relatively,

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and Pittsburgh, PA. So we're like right in the middle.

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So about fifty minutes from Pittsburgh and about an hour and ten minutes from Erie.

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But we live in an Amish area, which people think is really interesting because if you don't grow up here and you see Amish people driving around, everybody's like, this is so cool.

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And so they love it because their guests aren't used to it and they're not used to it.

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And so we do get a lot of local people, but it's also a lot of out of towners as well.

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Understood.

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Yeah. Okay. So what have you tried to stand out there?

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Well, our pricing is indicative of the fact that we do not have heating and cooling, because we just don't see the

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value of putting it in for how many events that we do each year, because we're seasonal.

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How many events do you do?

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Max of 12.

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That's what our ordinance allows for us specifically.

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And then

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in terms of messaging and putting ourselves out there,

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again, we really want to draw in that faith based crowd, just because that's really one of our big, that is our huge value for our family.

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And so all over our website, we have, this is a family farm,

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there's pictures of our kids and us doing everything, trying to really show that this is not a huge enterprise, that you're going to get really personalized attention whenever you come here.

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And

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where do you do that, sorry?

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Social media on our website.

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And it's pretty much just word-of-mouth

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as well.

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Okay.

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And so what social media?

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Facebook, Instagram

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is pretty much it.

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Okay.

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And how often are you posting and how is it doing? I

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should be posting more. Our Facebook does pretty well.

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Just organically, we have like 2,500 followers.

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Instagram

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is like, I don't know, 1,100 followers or something like that.

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I honestly don't really look at the numbers too much for those.

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I do know whenever I do post though, it gets lots of shares and likes and everything, because we just have a really good community around us.

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Was doing really well at posting

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every other day. And then

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this past

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year or so just got really busy with my coaching business.

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And so it definitely slacked off and was more like a few times a month.

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Okay.

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And yeah, and what kind of stuff or content are you posting there?

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Usually it's just a lot of pictures of the weddings and different events that we have.

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I know I should probably doing behind the scenes and stuff like that.

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But again, just trying to manage two businesses and doing social for one, both, it just feels like a lot.

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We're actually running a farm camp for kids this week. And so I just posted

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content for that where we have like a dairy farm come in.

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So I know that that stuff will do really well.

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But yeah, I know it can be more for sure.

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Yeah, I mean, if it makes sense, like what's your margin

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on these events?

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I

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don't have the exact number pulled up in front of me.

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But last I checked, if we don't take into consideration paying myself or my husband, it was about 60%.

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So it's pretty good margin.

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And what it in dollars?

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It kind of depends on each event because each event's a little bit different. But for a wedding,

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I would say probably

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averaging

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$3,500

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In profit margin? So

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that's what you and your husband gets to take home after each event?

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Ideally, we take that home, but usually we just reinvest it or use it to buy supplies that we need.

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Got it. Okay, so it's not a crazy profitable business?

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I would say it's

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profitable in the sense that it pays for

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our farm needs that we have. So diesel fuel, gas,

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hay, stuff like that. But it's not bringing in loads

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of money for us personally to use.

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Right.

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Yeah. Okay.

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So that's

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the

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wedding

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venue business. Okay. Where would you like to take that?

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Yeah.

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We're not entirely sure. So

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again, we have

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five soon to be six kids. So it's like, we're not trying to do this stuff all the time,

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because we do it ourselves. And we don't have any interest in like hiring it out, because again,

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I don't know, we live here, the barn's like 150 yards from us.

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So we're not trying to make it some commercial, like super commercial thing.

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So we've sort of shifted a little bit from the weddings and events to and the smaller events are super easy, grad parties, memorial showers, things like that.

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Those are really simple and straightforward, but definitely not moneymakers.

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So we've shifted a bit more towards the horse boarding.

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So now we have a few different horses that we board, which is definitely more profitable.

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But if you want to actually

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be able to bring home any money, you really have to scale that.

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And again, we don't necessarily have the intention to scale that.

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So it's the farm business is essentially like, let's make enough to pay our internet dumpster, like trash,

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bills like that, taxes, things like that.

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So that personally, we don't have to pull money out of like my coaching business, and he has a W-two job.

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So we don't have to touch those. The farm's sort of like self sufficient in terms of

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selling itself.

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Got it, understood. Okay, I'm a sense here. Okay, so tell me about the coaching business.

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Yeah, so that's this one, Loretta Wellness.

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Started off

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in

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just general health coaching whenever I was going through my board certification,

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realized that I don't love necessarily

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coaching people through

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how to quit smoking and how to get the right amount of water.

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I don't love that stuff, but I had to do it just to get my hours and everything like that.

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Shifted into birth trauma coaching, which actually went really well, did make a lot of money in that, but

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realized that I was only really doing it because I had a coach who told me, she was like, what do you want to do?

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And I told her, she was like, you're not going to able to make money in that.

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And I was like, okay, well,

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and she was like, so what do people actually talk to about?

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And I said, birth trauma and like healing C sections. And I was like, I'll do birth trauma.

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So it sort of was like,

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I don't want to say pushed into it, but it was sort of like, here's

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the path, go down this path.

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And again, it did well, it made money, but it just never felt super authentically me.

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And so in the last two years have really shifted more into that,

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working with high

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net worth individuals

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who are making big impacts

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in their industry, but also

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really want to be present for their families as well.

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And yeah, so that's where it's at now and doing a lot of nervous system rewiring

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and regulation, not just the regulation, because I don't think that that is a fix for everything.

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Mhmm.

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So what does that mean, nervous system rewiring versus regulation?

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I mean, it's probably similar to, at least from my understanding of what you do, where it's like,

234
00:13:51.910 --> 00:13:55.505
again, your nervous system is always scanning the environment around you.

235
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And it learned at an early age, usually before the age of 10,

236
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like a set pattern.

237
00:14:00.945 --> 00:14:02.785
And so that set pattern

238
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was

239
00:14:04.705 --> 00:14:06.545
what you learned kept you safe.

240
00:14:06.545 --> 00:14:11.810
And it doesn't necessarily have to make logical sense, it just has to make sense to what you perceive to be safe.

241
00:14:12.210 --> 00:14:15.730
And so it doesn't have to be physical safety, this could be emotional, physical,

242
00:14:16.610 --> 00:14:18.370
mental, whatever, safety.

243
00:14:18.530 --> 00:14:19.090
And

244
00:14:19.410 --> 00:14:21.650
from there, that pattern is running

245
00:14:21.915 --> 00:14:23.995
everything in your life and your business.

246
00:14:24.315 --> 00:14:25.515
Most people aren't aware of it.

247
00:14:25.515 --> 00:14:36.075
And so they don't understand why they really have a hard time charging what they actually want to charge, or why they let clients like totally overset boundaries and don't actually enforce things, or even

248
00:14:36.430 --> 00:14:38.110
physical side of things like why

249
00:14:38.590 --> 00:14:42.590
they can't lose the weight. I don't get into that stuff. But like, that's a side of it too.

250
00:14:44.350 --> 00:14:53.195
So that's the rewiring side of it, where you have to really train your nervous system again, that it is safe, and that it is okay if you do x or y or whatever.

251
00:14:53.195 --> 00:14:58.955
And then from there, the regulation is like kind of what everybody knows, it's regulation side of things.

252
00:15:00.315 --> 00:15:03.995
Well, what do you do there? Is stuff like meditation or

253
00:15:04.800 --> 00:15:06.240
Honestly,

254
00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:07.840
I find that once you rewire

255
00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:08.880
your

256
00:15:09.280 --> 00:15:10.320
nervous system,

257
00:15:10.640 --> 00:15:11.520
the regulation,

258
00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:14.880
yes, is necessary, but it's not like a huge component of things.

259
00:15:14.880 --> 00:15:17.040
You're going to find that you're doing these things anyway,

260
00:15:17.280 --> 00:15:19.600
because you're not going to need to feel the need to work so hard.

261
00:15:19.884 --> 00:15:23.725
You're going to be able to rest, you're going to be able to sit down and eat your meals.

262
00:15:24.045 --> 00:15:24.845
And so

263
00:15:25.324 --> 00:15:27.325
those are some of the, have like a daily five

264
00:15:27.725 --> 00:15:30.845
that I walk my clients through, essentially hydration,

265
00:15:30.845 --> 00:15:31.644
nutrition,

266
00:15:31.725 --> 00:15:34.204
movement, joy, and then again, because I'm faith based,

267
00:15:35.190 --> 00:15:39.990
relationship with Christ. Those If are the five you do those every day, then you're golden.

268
00:15:41.430 --> 00:15:42.149
Cool.

269
00:15:43.510 --> 00:15:44.550
Got it, yeah.

270
00:15:45.269 --> 00:15:46.310
When are you due, by the way?

271
00:15:47.135 --> 00:15:48.015
October.

272
00:15:48.175 --> 00:15:52.415
October? All right, congrats. So that's, what, four months?

273
00:15:52.735 --> 00:15:54.735
I don't know, somewhere around there. Yeah.

274
00:15:54.975 --> 00:15:56.255
Cool, exciting.

275
00:15:56.655 --> 00:15:59.630
Yeah. Number six, all right. Good Good

276
00:16:00.430 --> 00:16:00.990
job.

277
00:16:01.870 --> 00:16:06.270
My husband's always like, we're repopulating the earth, right? Fuck yeah. Hell yeah.

278
00:16:06.910 --> 00:16:09.870
I love it. I'm here for it. It's amazing.

279
00:16:10.190 --> 00:16:10.750
So,

280
00:16:11.390 --> 00:16:11.710
okay.

281
00:16:12.485 --> 00:16:15.365
And so how many of those clients do you have right now?

282
00:16:17.125 --> 00:16:18.325
It's kind of a mix.

283
00:16:21.525 --> 00:16:26.805
Because I'm shifting more into one on one now that I'm having another baby, so that I don't have to worry about keeping a group going.

284
00:16:27.990 --> 00:16:30.550
There's six in the group currently, and then

285
00:16:30.950 --> 00:16:33.830
four or five, one on one clients, I can't remember exactly.

286
00:16:34.870 --> 00:16:36.550
But then I'm also running a summer

287
00:16:37.350 --> 00:16:42.390
program that's eight weeks long and that has five women in it. So I guess probably like 20 total.

288
00:16:46.655 --> 00:16:49.615
And the eight week, that's also on the coaching side of,

289
00:16:50.495 --> 00:16:51.615
for women Yes, but

290
00:16:52.975 --> 00:16:53.535
we

291
00:16:53.935 --> 00:16:55.775
focus on one specific thing.

292
00:16:55.775 --> 00:17:00.520
It's really about one piece, not like getting to the root of everything. Got

293
00:17:01.480 --> 00:17:06.359
it. So the four one on ones you have, are they all in this category of, you said high net worth?

294
00:17:06.760 --> 00:17:10.039
Most of them are, yeah. Even if they are not themselves,

295
00:17:10.040 --> 00:17:12.280
6 or 7 figure business owners,

296
00:17:13.435 --> 00:17:25.115
Like the one specifically I'm thinking of, her husband is a doctor, she has a smaller business, it still brings in, I forget what number she told me, I don't even remember, dollars 4,000 or 5,000 a month, something like that.

297
00:17:25.275 --> 00:17:28.875
So it still brings in a decent amount of money, but she's not at that like 6 figure yet.

298
00:17:29.220 --> 00:17:34.179
So it's really not necessarily about the amount, but it's about that growth mindset.

299
00:17:34.179 --> 00:17:37.859
Because usually if you can get to that 6 figures not being like a W-two

300
00:17:38.260 --> 00:17:40.900
employee, then you have that growth mindset.

301
00:17:40.900 --> 00:17:43.140
And it's just a matter of that's who I want to work with.

302
00:17:43.140 --> 00:17:47.674
I don't want to work with people who think like, I'm going to fix them because I can't Yeah, fix

303
00:17:48.955 --> 00:17:49.514
okay.

304
00:17:50.315 --> 00:17:51.754
Cool, I love it. So

305
00:17:52.315 --> 00:17:54.155
what do you feel is working or is not working?

306
00:17:59.549 --> 00:18:03.950
So what is working is client delivery is great. Get really good testimonials.

307
00:18:03.950 --> 00:18:05.869
Everybody gets really, really good results,

308
00:18:06.190 --> 00:18:07.070
which is awesome.

309
00:18:07.470 --> 00:18:09.389
Not working so well is,

310
00:18:10.429 --> 00:18:13.230
I don't wanna say leads because I know that I have people

311
00:18:13.865 --> 00:18:16.105
because just like organically have,

312
00:18:16.825 --> 00:18:19.625
I think it's like 13 or 1,400 on Instagram,

313
00:18:20.105 --> 00:18:21.625
have, I don't even know,

314
00:18:22.825 --> 00:18:24.825
multiple 100 on my email list.

315
00:18:26.185 --> 00:18:27.385
So I know I have people,

316
00:18:28.320 --> 00:18:31.119
but it's a matter of are they the right fit people?

317
00:18:31.120 --> 00:18:37.759
And I'm not doing something right in order to actually make them move and want to take action.

318
00:18:39.760 --> 00:18:40.479
Okay.

319
00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:43.039
And are you getting new people in?

320
00:18:45.414 --> 00:18:51.095
In where? Like, new new people on your Instagram. Like, where are you focusing most on social media?

321
00:18:51.095 --> 00:18:52.534
Is that Instagram or Facebook? Or

322
00:18:53.414 --> 00:18:59.010
Instagram. And then I do cross post most things on LinkedIn, but it's primarily Instagram. And

323
00:18:59.490 --> 00:19:02.370
yeah, how is your content performing on Instagram?

324
00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:03.970
Mean,

325
00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:06.610
most of the time it's pretty consistent.

326
00:19:07.570 --> 00:19:09.250
I have had some things go

327
00:19:09.650 --> 00:19:11.490
like quote unquote viral recently.

328
00:19:12.885 --> 00:19:16.404
But yeah, just really hitting that kind of the same people over

329
00:19:16.725 --> 00:19:17.524
over again.

330
00:19:17.765 --> 00:19:22.245
Are you posting reels? Are you posting carousels? Are you posting I do kind of it all.

331
00:19:22.245 --> 00:19:23.205
And then stories

332
00:19:23.285 --> 00:19:26.245
at least every day. I usually take like Saturday, Sunday off though.

333
00:19:26.980 --> 00:19:27.700
Good.

334
00:19:30.100 --> 00:19:32.659
Ballpark, how many views per reel?

335
00:19:34.019 --> 00:19:36.259
500 is average probably.

336
00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:40.745
I just had one that got, I posted a couple of days ago actually about

337
00:19:41.145 --> 00:19:44.665
my husband and I just had our eleventh anniversary and that one has like 1,500.

338
00:19:44.665 --> 00:19:48.024
So something about that did well. Right. This

339
00:19:49.705 --> 00:19:52.429
is personal, we can relate. Yeah.

340
00:19:52.590 --> 00:19:53.309
Yeah.

341
00:19:53.870 --> 00:19:54.669
Okay.

342
00:19:57.470 --> 00:19:58.110
Alright.

343
00:19:58.670 --> 00:20:00.590
Let me see here. So

344
00:20:08.195 --> 00:20:09.155
There's

345
00:20:11.955 --> 00:20:14.275
a couple things that I'm noticing here.

346
00:20:14.515 --> 00:20:17.955
Like, one is that that that when

347
00:20:17.955 --> 00:20:20.355
you've brought up the faith based piece

348
00:20:20.755 --> 00:20:20.995
Mhmm.

349
00:20:23.309 --> 00:20:25.950
It almost sounds like you're

350
00:20:26.669 --> 00:20:29.230
feeling like you have to defend it or

351
00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:30.429
Yeah, that's justify

352
00:20:32.350 --> 00:20:35.710
literally whenever you said that, the word that popped in my head was justify.

353
00:20:36.190 --> 00:20:40.004
And I think it is because it's like, I don't want to

354
00:20:41.125 --> 00:20:46.644
make people feel like I couldn't help them, even if they're not, I don't know. I

355
00:20:47.845 --> 00:20:48.885
don't know how to describe it.

356
00:20:52.190 --> 00:20:56.110
Yeah, I think I say that because I want to make sure that people

357
00:20:56.350 --> 00:20:59.149
are not being offended by what I'm saying and also

358
00:20:59.230 --> 00:21:01.950
that they know that this is a huge value of mine.

359
00:21:02.190 --> 00:21:03.070
Probably.

360
00:21:09.395 --> 00:21:10.115
Yeah.

361
00:21:10.835 --> 00:21:12.835
So I mean, who do you most wanna work with?

362
00:21:14.195 --> 00:21:15.955
I mean, like, those

363
00:21:17.875 --> 00:21:20.275
I really like working with women mostly.

364
00:21:20.515 --> 00:21:22.309
Mhmm. I've worked with

365
00:21:22.870 --> 00:21:23.669
Do you to

366
00:21:24.070 --> 00:21:25.750
work with people who share your faith?

367
00:21:26.630 --> 00:21:31.029
Yes, because it's easy to relate to it. I use a lot of examples in storytelling.

368
00:21:31.270 --> 00:21:32.549
And so,

369
00:21:33.430 --> 00:21:33.990
yes.

370
00:21:34.390 --> 00:21:34.710
Yeah.

371
00:21:36.235 --> 00:21:36.874
So

372
00:21:38.235 --> 00:21:40.955
how about just, like, just owning it

373
00:21:41.434 --> 00:21:45.595
and being like, you and what I mean is, like, you don't have to be like,

374
00:21:46.395 --> 00:21:50.075
I'm faith based, and I'm only for people who are faith based. Right? But just own it.

375
00:21:50.460 --> 00:21:53.260
Just own it as like, this is who I am. And it'll

376
00:21:53.980 --> 00:21:56.700
you will naturally speak that language

377
00:21:56.860 --> 00:22:01.099
in your content, which is gonna attract those people that you most wanna work with.

378
00:22:01.580 --> 00:22:06.945
And then people who are offended by that are like, then you don't wanna work with those people anyway.

379
00:22:07.425 --> 00:22:07.825
Yeah.

380
00:22:07.825 --> 00:22:12.865
And then there are gonna be people who don't necessarily share your faith in in the same way or, like, they don't know.

381
00:22:12.865 --> 00:22:17.265
Like, who knows? Like, there's so many different variety of of Christianity and, like, people,

382
00:22:18.150 --> 00:22:20.630
you know, have different relationships with their faith.

383
00:22:21.030 --> 00:22:30.150
And they might just be curious or, like, it gives them even though they might not share your exact belief system, it still gives them confidence that here's a person with

384
00:22:30.725 --> 00:22:34.005
with an integrity and a higher sense of purpose or, like,

385
00:22:34.565 --> 00:22:36.325
at least, like, a spiritual

386
00:22:37.045 --> 00:22:38.005
component,

387
00:22:38.005 --> 00:22:41.685
which gives them a a you know, if they like it, you know, you're for them.

388
00:22:41.685 --> 00:22:44.900
If they don't like it, then know? Yeah. No, that's a good point.

389
00:22:44.900 --> 00:22:52.500
I actually have a client now that you said that, who, whenever I first met with her, I was a little bit, I don't want to say nervous, but I was like apprehensive

390
00:22:52.580 --> 00:22:53.299
because,

391
00:22:54.900 --> 00:22:56.900
I mean, like I'm Catholic and so

392
00:22:57.255 --> 00:23:01.894
some people love it, some people are like, you're a Catholic, like, no. And so

393
00:23:02.295 --> 00:23:05.575
I was kind of shying away from saying that to her.

394
00:23:05.735 --> 00:23:14.610
But it came up in one of our sessions where she was like, actually, she's like, I'm not Catholic, but I love that you are because I was raised by blah, blah, blah, this happened and this happened.

395
00:23:14.610 --> 00:23:16.450
She's like, so I think it's so interesting

396
00:23:16.690 --> 00:23:22.450
to hear you talk about this because it's like, I missed out on it or because I just enjoy it or whatever.

397
00:23:22.610 --> 00:23:23.809
So that is a good point.

398
00:23:24.690 --> 00:23:26.769
Let's talk about that and like be okay with it.

399
00:23:27.664 --> 00:23:32.384
Yeah. I mean, I I I grew up Protestant in Denmark,

400
00:23:33.505 --> 00:23:35.184
and I don't really know.

401
00:23:35.745 --> 00:23:36.784
Yeah. Yeah.

402
00:23:36.865 --> 00:23:42.784
I know there's something about the boat, and I've been to Italy and friends, seen the cathedrals and all that stuff, but I don't really know what the hell it

403
00:23:43.270 --> 00:23:44.389
it

404
00:23:44.549 --> 00:23:49.190
means. And so I'm curious. Right? And so Okay. You can be like, hey. I'm Catholine.

405
00:23:49.190 --> 00:23:49.990
This is what it means.

406
00:23:49.990 --> 00:23:58.150
Like, you can add in posts like that where it's not you know, it's like the main the main meal, but it's it adds a lot of personality to it.

407
00:23:58.595 --> 00:23:59.315
Okay.

408
00:23:59.715 --> 00:24:02.835
Yeah. Yep. Yeah, that's interesting because I

409
00:24:03.795 --> 00:24:06.835
know that I should be doing that, but it's so hard to like,

410
00:24:07.075 --> 00:24:08.835
again, trying to please everybody.

411
00:24:08.835 --> 00:24:12.595
And I know where it comes from, but it's so hard seeing your own stuff sometimes.

412
00:24:12.995 --> 00:24:13.795
Where does it come from?

413
00:24:14.890 --> 00:24:16.970
Well, because it's like growing up,

414
00:24:18.250 --> 00:24:22.809
had friends who were not Catholic and they learned that Catholics were like,

415
00:24:23.929 --> 00:24:25.450
what do they even think? I don't even remember.

416
00:24:25.450 --> 00:24:31.104
Whatever people think about Catholics mostly where it's like, they worship the Pope, they worship Mary, like they do all this stuff.

417
00:24:31.105 --> 00:24:34.144
And it's like, no, that's not actually true. But a lot of people think that.

418
00:24:34.144 --> 00:24:38.784
And so it's like, I don't even want to have to deal with, I don't want to have people think that

419
00:24:39.825 --> 00:24:43.664
I am like that stereotype because that's not what I am. You know what I mean?

420
00:24:44.440 --> 00:24:46.600
So, but yeah, that's interesting.

421
00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:47.880
Yeah.

422
00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:54.679
So that's content.

423
00:24:56.280 --> 00:24:57.880
Right? Yeah, it is, yeah.

424
00:24:58.515 --> 00:25:06.435
Growing up, I didn't go around saying I was Catholic because the kids or whatever you did, they knew that you were Catholic and they thought it meant this, that, and the other thing.

425
00:25:06.435 --> 00:25:07.075
This

426
00:25:07.555 --> 00:25:09.475
is not what it means. This is what it means to me.

427
00:25:09.715 --> 00:25:15.700
Or you can go the other way and do something that's so, like a caricature of being Catholic and kind

428
00:25:15.780 --> 00:25:16.500
of break

429
00:25:18.020 --> 00:25:18.900
the split

430
00:25:19.060 --> 00:25:24.180
and just be like, this is what people think. This is what my day to day is like.

431
00:25:25.060 --> 00:25:26.180
Okay. Yeah,

432
00:25:26.340 --> 00:25:26.980
that's interesting.

433
00:25:28.155 --> 00:25:31.995
Because that's gonna appeal to, I mean, people who are Catholic, which are great. Yeah.

434
00:25:31.995 --> 00:25:33.835
You wanna work with those people. Amazing.

435
00:25:33.835 --> 00:25:38.075
And it's gonna appeal to people who are not to be like, oh, super interesting. Like,

436
00:25:38.475 --> 00:25:42.315
I'm attracted to you now. Like, I'm I I wanna know more. This is interesting to me.

437
00:25:42.315 --> 00:25:45.190
And some people are gonna be like, yeah. Not for me. And that's great. Yes.

438
00:25:45.190 --> 00:25:47.029
You don't wanna waste energy on them.

439
00:25:47.110 --> 00:25:54.150
No, I think that's good because I guess it's showing myself that I have my own stereotype about Christians and what they believe.

440
00:25:54.150 --> 00:25:59.894
So I just kind of needing to break So through that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? Yeah.

441
00:26:01.495 --> 00:26:02.294
I did.

442
00:26:02.775 --> 00:26:03.815
We

443
00:26:03.815 --> 00:26:05.335
all have these these

444
00:26:06.455 --> 00:26:07.335
stereotypes,

445
00:26:07.335 --> 00:26:09.815
ideas, you know Yeah. For sure. And what it yeah.

446
00:26:10.610 --> 00:26:13.890
Yeah. It's one of the things that was so fascinating to me after coming to America.

447
00:26:13.890 --> 00:26:19.890
Like, there's so many different religion like, Christianities in this country, and I I still don't really know.

448
00:26:19.970 --> 00:26:24.210
There are. Yes. Half of it. Yeah. Yeah. No. But that's good.

449
00:26:24.975 --> 00:26:26.815
Just leaning more into that and being okay.

450
00:26:26.815 --> 00:26:38.495
I mean, I am okay if it doesn't bring in the right people, but it's also like, I don't want it to push people away who I actually do really enjoy working with and if they found out, then it'd be like, well, don't want to work with you anymore, you know what I mean?

451
00:26:38.495 --> 00:26:41.500
It's one of those like illogical things. Exactly. Yeah.

452
00:26:41.900 --> 00:26:45.659
And you don't want those people, right? Because like then you have to constantly hide.

453
00:26:45.900 --> 00:26:46.779
That's not Yeah.

454
00:26:49.660 --> 00:26:52.220
Yeah. That's the to think about because you don't want those people.

455
00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:56.975
So it's much better to get, get more of the people who are strongly attached to you and then

456
00:26:57.295 --> 00:27:02.175
not meet the people for whom you need to pretend you're something that you're not. Yeah.

457
00:27:02.175 --> 00:27:04.415
I'm just writing that down. Yeah.

458
00:27:05.535 --> 00:27:06.895
That's so That's good.

459
00:27:07.375 --> 00:27:07.695
Yeah.

460
00:27:08.810 --> 00:27:11.529
Amazing. Lean into it. Own it.

461
00:27:11.930 --> 00:27:14.889
Yeah. The other thing I'm picking up on is,

462
00:27:15.850 --> 00:27:22.764
and this might just be like the moment that I'm catching you here today and you have five kids and you have one on the way, and I'm sure, like, that's a lot.

463
00:27:22.764 --> 00:27:27.404
And then you got a farm, you got this business, and you got, like, you have a lot going on, obviously.

464
00:27:27.404 --> 00:27:30.604
But there is a an energy about you that feels

465
00:27:31.085 --> 00:27:34.125
I'm trying to find the word because in Danish, the word would be.

466
00:27:35.360 --> 00:27:38.160
And I I know that yeah. You have no idea what that means.

467
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:42.799
So was just trying to look it up, and it says indolent, which I actually don't know what it means in English.

468
00:27:42.800 --> 00:27:46.480
No. No. Lazy or idle. But there's something where it it

469
00:27:47.875 --> 00:27:53.234
you come off to me, and again, this might just be my perception or it might just be this moment as like,

470
00:27:53.554 --> 00:27:55.234
almost like I can't be bothered.

471
00:27:56.115 --> 00:27:57.955
That's interesting. I've never heard A that

472
00:27:58.755 --> 00:28:01.075
little bit of like like, I don't know, like,

473
00:28:01.770 --> 00:28:04.970
sometimes it feels like you roll your eyes a little bit and you're like, I

474
00:28:06.650 --> 00:28:09.610
don't know, I don't really have the energy for this kind of thing.

475
00:28:10.810 --> 00:28:13.450
Don't know what it is, a little bit of apprehension or something.

476
00:28:14.485 --> 00:28:18.325
That's interesting because I keep saying interesting. Most people say

477
00:28:18.645 --> 00:28:20.244
they feel so calm.

478
00:28:20.725 --> 00:28:24.244
So I wonder if it's a similar energy,

479
00:28:25.765 --> 00:28:32.650
but because I usually work, like speak with women, maybe I'm coming off differently to you as like a man, I don't know.

480
00:28:32.810 --> 00:28:36.010
Possibly. It feels like a little bit like withdrawn,

481
00:28:36.010 --> 00:28:39.690
like you're hiding a little bit in there somewhere.

482
00:28:41.770 --> 00:28:43.504
Trying to think.

483
00:28:43.985 --> 00:28:45.825
Yeah. I

484
00:28:46.225 --> 00:28:48.705
don't know, is there something specific that you think that,

485
00:28:48.945 --> 00:28:52.544
like why you think that? I'm just curious. Things like your

486
00:28:52.544 --> 00:28:55.825
eyes a little bit like Are they like moving around?

487
00:28:56.144 --> 00:28:58.090
No, little bit closed,

488
00:28:58.090 --> 00:28:59.210
a little bit like

489
00:29:01.210 --> 00:29:04.250
just when when we before we got into this and I was like, hey.

490
00:29:04.250 --> 00:29:06.250
Sometimes I run a little bit too fast, etcetera.

491
00:29:06.250 --> 00:29:11.289
It felt like you're like the the way it came off to me, and this, again, might be be my shit, it was just like,

492
00:29:12.125 --> 00:29:14.685
yeah. Yeah. Come on. Let's let's just get on with it.

493
00:29:14.685 --> 00:29:19.005
I would say that was kind of the vibe that I got. I can see that. I'm sorry. I think it's No.

494
00:29:19.005 --> 00:29:21.245
It's totally fine. There's zero judgment here.

495
00:29:21.245 --> 00:29:25.405
I'm just the reason I'm pointing out is because if this is again, this might just be the moment.

496
00:29:25.405 --> 00:29:25.965
It might be me.

497
00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:30.559
But if this is the vibe that comes off in your social media,

498
00:29:31.200 --> 00:29:33.760
that could be something that's not exactly

499
00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:35.919
attracting the people that you want.

500
00:29:36.080 --> 00:29:40.400
So again, I'm not I'm not here to judge you in any way, and I'm like, whatever. No.

501
00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:41.840
It's good information.

502
00:29:42.455 --> 00:29:43.174
Yeah.

503
00:29:44.375 --> 00:29:46.455
Social, again, I'm just writing some stuff down.

504
00:29:46.535 --> 00:29:51.255
I think that, well, I know that I said that at the beginning, because it's like, I've been on so many

505
00:29:52.055 --> 00:29:56.534
podcasts and recordings now, it's sort of like, I know the drill, you know what I mean? I

506
00:29:56.855 --> 00:29:57.895
didn't mean it to be like,

507
00:29:59.060 --> 00:30:02.179
aloof or anything, it was more of just like, yeah, I got it.

508
00:30:03.220 --> 00:30:06.100
And I know you're doing it out of respect, you know what I mean?

509
00:30:07.700 --> 00:30:11.220
But maybe that's where that first piece came in, but I do think that's interesting

510
00:30:12.424 --> 00:30:15.544
about on social, if it's coming across like that.

511
00:30:15.865 --> 00:30:16.744
So I wrote

512
00:30:17.145 --> 00:30:21.544
down, like, you said lazy, and then was the other word, like, what was the other word you said?

513
00:30:21.544 --> 00:30:25.784
It's like, the way I would say is like, I can't really be bothered.

514
00:30:26.025 --> 00:30:26.744
Okay.

515
00:30:27.065 --> 00:30:27.385
Yeah.

516
00:30:29.260 --> 00:30:30.460
Okay. I'm gonna

517
00:30:32.060 --> 00:30:33.980
I don't know how I'm gonna look into the how I've

518
00:30:35.020 --> 00:30:38.220
No. No. I will figure out how I can Yeah.

519
00:30:39.100 --> 00:30:39.740
I'm used to that.

520
00:30:40.475 --> 00:30:41.595
See, is there like a

521
00:30:43.595 --> 00:30:46.235
like in your content, are you like

522
00:30:46.555 --> 00:30:53.915
are you like fully connecting with the per with the camera, right, with the person that you imagine is on the other side of this camera?

523
00:30:53.915 --> 00:30:55.915
Or is it more like I have to get this content done?

524
00:30:57.570 --> 00:31:01.330
I know, I mean, I think it's probably a mix, which is probably,

525
00:31:01.970 --> 00:31:02.610
yeah.

526
00:31:04.530 --> 00:31:08.210
Sometimes it's definitely like I haven't posted in a little while, I need to get something on.

527
00:31:08.450 --> 00:31:09.490
But then other times,

528
00:31:10.325 --> 00:31:17.845
especially like after a client, like right after a call with the client, where I'll hop on really quick and be like, this is what I just did, like this is what happened, this is blah, blah, blah.

529
00:31:17.845 --> 00:31:22.165
Like that stuff's really easy and energy wise, like that does feel

530
00:31:23.170 --> 00:31:25.409
probably like that higher energy

531
00:31:25.490 --> 00:31:26.289
versus,

532
00:31:26.690 --> 00:31:29.970
yeah, for sure, if I'm just having to make something that it's gonna be low.

533
00:31:31.410 --> 00:31:32.289
You know what I mean?

534
00:31:33.330 --> 00:31:36.050
Yeah, but it's something to be aware of just like

535
00:31:36.575 --> 00:31:38.015
managing your state. Right?

536
00:31:38.015 --> 00:31:45.054
So just, you know, a simple thing is like shoulders back, chest chest up, and like, you know, that can do a lot to

537
00:31:46.095 --> 00:31:47.294
how you come across.

538
00:31:47.615 --> 00:31:48.174
And

539
00:31:48.735 --> 00:31:50.015
and and

540
00:31:50.250 --> 00:31:56.090
like that state affects how you think. And Yeah. Yeah. For sure. All of it. So

541
00:31:56.730 --> 00:31:59.370
little things like that can make can make a big difference.

542
00:31:59.690 --> 00:32:00.330
Yeah.

543
00:32:00.730 --> 00:32:04.410
And I mean, I'm not gonna lie. The physical side of things too is

544
00:32:04.654 --> 00:32:08.174
like, we had farm camp this morning and we had dairy cows come in

545
00:32:08.575 --> 00:32:11.054
and 25 kids, so that's tiring.

546
00:32:12.414 --> 00:32:17.054
We had two calls before this. So there is definitely some

547
00:32:18.510 --> 00:32:19.309
fired.

548
00:32:19.870 --> 00:32:20.909
I only hit it.

549
00:32:21.309 --> 00:32:22.909
Yeah, so I think that's,

550
00:32:24.429 --> 00:32:30.510
no, I'm just writing some stuff down because I think it's helpful to hear this from the outside because you don't really know who I am.

551
00:32:32.195 --> 00:32:33.154
Okay. Yeah.

552
00:32:33.554 --> 00:32:35.874
Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, of

553
00:32:36.434 --> 00:32:39.874
course. And what I'm thinking is when you say that is like,

554
00:32:40.595 --> 00:32:42.115
that's super interesting.

555
00:32:43.554 --> 00:32:45.955
What you just shared about what your day looks like.

556
00:32:46.610 --> 00:32:47.250
Oh.

557
00:32:47.410 --> 00:32:48.049
Right,

558
00:32:48.290 --> 00:32:49.809
that's super interesting.

559
00:32:49.970 --> 00:32:52.130
Like put that the fuck out there.

560
00:32:52.930 --> 00:32:57.090
I actually have started to, I've been very resistant to

561
00:32:57.890 --> 00:33:00.770
do anything with both to cross the businesses because I'm like,

562
00:33:01.975 --> 00:33:05.894
yeah, no, I don't want to cross these, but I have started to and like literally

563
00:33:07.255 --> 00:33:13.414
today I've made a reel about like the dairy farmer came and she brought her cow and a calf and like the kids milked it and

564
00:33:14.054 --> 00:33:21.940
then I made it on our farm account and then I just like threw it in my stories on my coaching business to say like, this is what I did today and this is also what I'm going to be doing today.

565
00:33:22.260 --> 00:33:25.220
So starting to do that, but it just feels like still

566
00:33:26.500 --> 00:33:28.820
a little resistance What's

567
00:33:28.820 --> 00:33:29.380
the resistance?

568
00:33:32.105 --> 00:33:33.225
How I say it?

569
00:33:36.665 --> 00:33:40.585
I mean, I think it just comes down to I feel like whenever and I've heard this from others too.

570
00:33:40.585 --> 00:33:42.905
I don't know if you feel like this, but like when you're online,

571
00:33:44.710 --> 00:33:53.349
you feel like you can kind of be a different type of person or I don't know, versus like when you're in person, you're like, I don't want anybody in person to see my online stuff.

572
00:33:53.590 --> 00:33:56.789
Do you know what I mean? Does that resonate at all? Or have you heard that from others?

573
00:34:00.265 --> 00:34:01.385
I don't know.

574
00:34:02.745 --> 00:34:05.705
I mean, I've heard it from other people, so it's

575
00:34:05.705 --> 00:34:10.505
like, no, like you don't need to watch my stuff online, like just know me in person.

576
00:34:10.745 --> 00:34:12.344
And so it just feels like

577
00:34:12.690 --> 00:34:15.090
I post the in person stuff

578
00:34:15.329 --> 00:34:17.570
on the coaching business

579
00:34:17.650 --> 00:34:22.130
side of things, it's going be like, who does she think she is or something like that.

580
00:34:23.409 --> 00:34:26.530
Don't follow at all. This is very fascinating to me.

581
00:34:27.010 --> 00:34:27.730
Are you serious?

582
00:34:28.645 --> 00:34:31.045
That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah.

583
00:34:31.045 --> 00:34:32.245
I'm like, wait.

584
00:34:32.245 --> 00:34:40.005
I you mean, like, in person as in, like, just friends and family, or do you mean in person as in, like, the the wedding barn dominion

585
00:34:40.530 --> 00:34:41.570
thing? Probably

586
00:34:43.090 --> 00:34:44.770
friends and family the most.

587
00:34:45.010 --> 00:34:50.770
But then, yeah, I I think that there is some component where it's like, I'll just speak to my church community,

588
00:34:51.010 --> 00:34:55.489
where it's like, I don't want my church community to necessarily find out that I speak about

589
00:34:56.324 --> 00:35:02.805
having wealth and acquiring wealth and using it for good and that not everybody's called to be poor like St.

590
00:35:02.805 --> 00:35:04.405
Francis and live in

591
00:35:05.125 --> 00:35:05.925
rags

592
00:35:05.925 --> 00:35:06.965
and in

593
00:35:07.285 --> 00:35:08.085
the mountains.

594
00:35:08.484 --> 00:35:10.165
Because it's like, then that's,

595
00:35:11.200 --> 00:35:13.120
some people can take that as like,

596
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:15.760
Oh, she's not holy. Do you know what I mean?

597
00:35:16.720 --> 00:35:17.520
Versus,

598
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:20.240
I know that that's not true,

599
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:25.600
but it's hard sometimes to have that cognitive dissonance, like not take over.

600
00:35:26.475 --> 00:35:29.755
When did you learn that you needed to be seen to be holy?

601
00:35:31.995 --> 00:35:34.955
That's

602
00:35:34.955 --> 00:35:35.995
a good question.

603
00:35:37.675 --> 00:35:40.875
I don't know if it's that I learned that I needed to be seen,

604
00:35:41.300 --> 00:35:42.500
but more of

605
00:35:42.820 --> 00:35:46.100
learned that I needed to not be seen.

606
00:35:47.700 --> 00:35:48.980
To be not To

607
00:35:50.660 --> 00:35:52.820
be holy was like you had to not be seen.

608
00:35:53.385 --> 00:35:55.625
To be holy, you have to not be seen, okay.

609
00:35:55.625 --> 00:35:59.305
Yeah, which is very common among Christians where it's holy

610
00:36:00.505 --> 00:36:04.825
if you don't have a lot of money, it's not, but that's

611
00:36:04.825 --> 00:36:06.105
what we are told.

612
00:36:06.745 --> 00:36:11.200
And it's holy if it's not all about you, because then that's

613
00:36:11.200 --> 00:36:12.240
not being humble.

614
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:15.360
Yeah.

615
00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:17.920
But

616
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:26.455
what I heard you say was that some people might see that as not holy, even though you believe there's nothing unholy about it, right?

617
00:36:26.695 --> 00:36:32.695
Yeah. So it's more like what they think about you, even if it, like what their perspective is.

618
00:36:33.095 --> 00:36:36.455
If they see you as not holy, that's somehow a problem for you.

619
00:36:39.069 --> 00:36:42.270
Yeah. I mean, still human, still want people to

620
00:36:43.950 --> 00:36:45.310
like me and

621
00:36:46.430 --> 00:36:47.630
not judge me.

622
00:36:48.589 --> 00:36:49.470
Good luck with that.

623
00:36:53.154 --> 00:36:55.714
Have you met humans? I know, right?

624
00:36:56.035 --> 00:36:58.435
Have you met a human that doesn't judge?

625
00:37:01.394 --> 00:37:04.515
Besides Jesus, I've never met him in person. But, yeah.

626
00:37:05.154 --> 00:37:06.435
Yeah. That's a good point.

627
00:37:06.835 --> 00:37:07.234
Yeah.

628
00:37:08.829 --> 00:37:10.510
People judge, it's our nature.

629
00:37:10.750 --> 00:37:11.390
Yep.

630
00:37:11.869 --> 00:37:15.230
And that's the tough part where it's like, logically,

631
00:37:15.630 --> 00:37:17.390
I get it, right? Like,

632
00:37:18.510 --> 00:37:19.230
it makes sense.

633
00:37:20.765 --> 00:37:21.805
It's actually

634
00:37:22.125 --> 00:37:23.085
from a

635
00:37:23.805 --> 00:37:25.325
nervous system perspective,

636
00:37:25.485 --> 00:37:26.445
it's good

637
00:37:26.685 --> 00:37:29.965
because we don't want people, like if we go back to

638
00:37:30.765 --> 00:37:31.805
primitive nature. I get it.

639
00:37:32.205 --> 00:37:34.285
So that's why I asked you, when did you learn?

640
00:37:34.940 --> 00:37:38.060
So what was it like growing up in a Catholic family?

641
00:37:38.380 --> 00:37:38.940
And

642
00:37:39.260 --> 00:37:41.820
I'm getting that being holy was

643
00:37:42.540 --> 00:37:44.620
part of the conversation, part of the environment.

644
00:37:49.445 --> 00:37:51.285
I don't know if it was per se.

645
00:37:55.845 --> 00:37:57.205
Just trying to think back.

646
00:37:57.685 --> 00:37:58.405
Mhmm.

647
00:38:01.365 --> 00:38:02.085
Let's see.

648
00:38:04.790 --> 00:38:05.510
Actually,

649
00:38:05.830 --> 00:38:07.030
so this is interesting.

650
00:38:07.430 --> 00:38:09.910
I haven't thought about this in a long time. So

651
00:38:10.710 --> 00:38:12.070
whenever I was in

652
00:38:13.350 --> 00:38:14.870
middle school, high school,

653
00:38:15.430 --> 00:38:18.550
must have been high school, I don't remember, but I think it was high school.

654
00:38:18.950 --> 00:38:21.725
I went to a Protestant,

655
00:38:23.725 --> 00:38:25.165
it was a Presbyterian

656
00:38:25.165 --> 00:38:26.045
youth group.

657
00:38:26.605 --> 00:38:27.085
And

658
00:38:29.565 --> 00:38:31.485
there we talked a lot about

659
00:38:31.805 --> 00:38:34.445
what it means to be a Christian in the world, what it means

660
00:38:34.900 --> 00:38:37.620
to live out our faith, stuff like that. And

661
00:38:38.580 --> 00:38:40.500
I don't remember the specific

662
00:38:40.500 --> 00:38:46.020
of it, but I remember where I was sitting, who I was with, what the environment looked like, I remember those sensory details.

663
00:38:46.260 --> 00:38:48.900
And one of the things that they talked about was

664
00:38:49.125 --> 00:38:50.565
how we need to give

665
00:38:51.125 --> 00:38:52.085
every single,

666
00:38:53.525 --> 00:38:56.245
like every Sunday, we need to tithe.

667
00:38:56.565 --> 00:38:59.045
Like there's this idea of like tithing 10%.

668
00:38:59.125 --> 00:39:00.325
And if you don't,

669
00:39:00.405 --> 00:39:01.445
then like that's actually

670
00:39:02.140 --> 00:39:05.180
against the Bible and against teaching.

671
00:39:05.420 --> 00:39:07.580
And then therefore it's like, that's bad.

672
00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:10.460
That's probably where that comes from, is hearing that,

673
00:39:11.020 --> 00:39:11.660
and

674
00:39:11.900 --> 00:39:13.100
then thinking

675
00:39:13.180 --> 00:39:14.220
10%.

676
00:39:16.060 --> 00:39:16.780
At least

677
00:39:17.295 --> 00:39:20.655
to a high school where I'm like, that's a lot of money. I make like

678
00:39:20.974 --> 00:39:21.934
$1,500

679
00:39:21.934 --> 00:39:22.735
a summer.

680
00:39:24.015 --> 00:39:26.335
That's like a whole week of work gone.

681
00:39:26.895 --> 00:39:31.375
So that's probably where that comes from most And then you meet the government and then you're like, Holy shit.

682
00:39:32.530 --> 00:39:35.090
Especially coming from, what'd you say, Denmark?

683
00:39:36.369 --> 00:39:39.730
I don't know what taxes are there, but I'm assuming if they're like every other European country.

684
00:39:39.730 --> 00:39:44.755
Highest in the world, I believe. Are they really? What are they? Like 60%? Yeah,

685
00:39:45.395 --> 00:39:47.795
the sixties. Yeah, marginal tax.

686
00:39:48.115 --> 00:39:55.715
But yeah, mean, like, that's probably where it comes from is that idea that it's like, if you're not tithing, if you're not giving every week, then therefore it's like, you are bad.

687
00:39:56.410 --> 00:40:00.250
Right, yeah, right and that's the thing, like there's a whole right and wrong

688
00:40:00.490 --> 00:40:03.050
thing going on here and good and bad, right?

689
00:40:03.050 --> 00:40:06.010
If you do right, you're good, if you're doing wrong, you're bad.

690
00:40:08.250 --> 00:40:13.355
With that, there was one coach that I had years ago. And I remember he said this where he was like,

691
00:40:15.355 --> 00:40:16.315
he said,

692
00:40:16.635 --> 00:40:19.995
I'm not gonna get the exact word. But he said, like a good person,

693
00:40:21.050 --> 00:40:25.130
a person who is good with no money is gonna be a good person when they have millions

694
00:40:25.530 --> 00:40:32.010
versus a person who's bad with or not nice with no money is not gonna be a nice person when they have millions.

695
00:40:32.010 --> 00:40:33.849
And that was one of the things where I was like,

696
00:40:34.775 --> 00:40:35.495
oh,

697
00:40:35.575 --> 00:40:37.015
like, that makes sense.

698
00:40:37.335 --> 00:40:37.975
So

699
00:40:38.215 --> 00:40:39.495
hearing that really helped.

700
00:40:39.895 --> 00:40:40.855
Yeah.

701
00:40:45.335 --> 00:40:46.375
So

702
00:40:49.470 --> 00:40:52.110
is it possible for you to be good

703
00:40:52.350 --> 00:40:53.390
or bad?

704
00:40:55.790 --> 00:40:57.310
In relation to what?

705
00:40:57.630 --> 00:40:59.790
Is it just as a as a being,

706
00:40:59.950 --> 00:41:02.750
Bridget, she's good. Bridget, she's bad.

707
00:41:04.775 --> 00:41:05.575
I mean,

708
00:41:06.935 --> 00:41:09.575
I'm not a theologian, so I cannot

709
00:41:10.295 --> 00:41:11.655
answer specifically.

710
00:41:12.135 --> 00:41:13.095
But my

711
00:41:15.175 --> 00:41:20.570
thought and what I've read and like been taught by others is that like, no, we are created

712
00:41:21.369 --> 00:41:22.089
good.

713
00:41:22.650 --> 00:41:24.010
And then we choose

714
00:41:24.089 --> 00:41:24.890
to do

715
00:41:25.369 --> 00:41:26.810
good or bad.

716
00:41:27.289 --> 00:41:30.730
But therefore we are still good. Like we are inherently still good.

717
00:41:32.305 --> 00:41:34.785
So no, we cannot be bad.

718
00:41:34.865 --> 00:41:38.865
We can choose to do bad things, but we're not going to be inherently bad.

719
00:41:39.265 --> 00:41:40.705
Yeah. Yeah.

720
00:41:41.985 --> 00:41:44.785
Your lucky day, God didn't fuck up when he made you.

721
00:41:47.910 --> 00:41:48.950
That is true.

722
00:41:49.109 --> 00:41:50.470
Yeah. Yeah.

723
00:41:51.270 --> 00:41:52.230
So then

724
00:41:54.950 --> 00:41:57.829
so let's talk about doing good versus doing bad.

725
00:42:00.144 --> 00:42:03.025
Like how do you know if what you're doing is good or bad?

726
00:42:03.744 --> 00:42:05.984
Man, that's like a tough question.

727
00:42:06.464 --> 00:42:07.825
They're so loaded.

728
00:42:12.065 --> 00:42:16.470
So just come at it from how I usually talk to clients about it, where it's like,

729
00:42:17.109 --> 00:42:20.230
if something that you're doing brings this peace,

730
00:42:20.630 --> 00:42:22.230
that brings clarity,

731
00:42:22.309 --> 00:42:23.270
that brings freedom,

732
00:42:24.435 --> 00:42:25.875
then that is generally

733
00:42:25.955 --> 00:42:27.715
something that is good

734
00:42:28.355 --> 00:42:31.955
versus if something brings about fear or

735
00:42:33.555 --> 00:42:34.595
almost like relief,

736
00:42:36.210 --> 00:42:41.250
not relief in a good sense, but a relief of like, oh, thank goodness that that's over.

737
00:42:41.650 --> 00:42:45.490
Not like, I'm so thankful that that happened and it's over now.

738
00:42:47.650 --> 00:42:51.135
Then that is likely going to be more of like a quote bad

739
00:42:51.695 --> 00:42:53.695
thing. So let's do this.

740
00:42:54.415 --> 00:42:56.895
Can you think of something that you've done that was bad?

741
00:43:00.655 --> 00:43:03.695
I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of little micro things.

742
00:43:04.660 --> 00:43:06.580
I know there's a lot of little micro things.

743
00:43:07.380 --> 00:43:09.860
What's an example? It doesn't have to be like super bad.

744
00:43:09.860 --> 00:43:12.980
Just like an example of something you did that you'd say, yeah, that was bad.

745
00:43:16.340 --> 00:43:20.335
Do you want like a more recent one or like a more distant one? It's better, it doesn't matter.

746
00:43:23.535 --> 00:43:27.215
I'm give you an ambiguous, kind of an ambiguous one to see how would

747
00:43:27.615 --> 00:43:28.175
go through this.

748
00:43:30.050 --> 00:43:31.970
Don't even know, seven,

749
00:43:32.130 --> 00:43:34.450
eight, nine, somewhere around there. Was still little.

750
00:43:34.530 --> 00:43:38.770
I thought the newspapers in front of the grocery store were free because they were like sitting outside.

751
00:43:39.490 --> 00:43:42.530
So I took one and then I found out that they weren't free.

752
00:43:42.770 --> 00:43:43.170
And

753
00:43:44.355 --> 00:43:46.675
like, I thought that was really bad

754
00:43:47.555 --> 00:43:49.155
because I stole something.

755
00:43:49.475 --> 00:43:50.035
Right.

756
00:43:50.595 --> 00:43:51.315
Yeah.

757
00:43:51.875 --> 00:43:53.315
Great. It's a great example.

758
00:43:53.635 --> 00:43:55.475
Thank you. So

759
00:43:56.115 --> 00:43:57.715
that seven year old

760
00:43:58.035 --> 00:43:58.915
Bridget

761
00:43:59.630 --> 00:44:02.830
that took that newspaper that she's thought was free,

762
00:44:04.190 --> 00:44:06.830
could she have done anything else in that moment?

763
00:44:08.510 --> 00:44:10.830
In actually taking the paper?

764
00:44:11.070 --> 00:44:11.390
Yeah.

765
00:44:12.735 --> 00:44:14.895
I mean, you probably could have asked, are these free?

766
00:44:15.855 --> 00:44:16.495
Yeah.

767
00:44:16.815 --> 00:44:20.495
But you didn't even think to ask because, like, of course, there would be I mean, put them right there.

768
00:44:20.495 --> 00:44:20.975
Like

769
00:44:21.295 --> 00:44:22.095
right?

770
00:44:22.335 --> 00:44:22.655
Yeah.

771
00:44:25.420 --> 00:44:26.540
So probably

772
00:44:29.820 --> 00:44:33.900
just trying to think if there's anything else, or if I'm just trying to justify it.

773
00:44:35.980 --> 00:44:37.260
So I mean, no, I guess.

774
00:44:40.685 --> 00:44:42.205
I guess not. It's like

775
00:44:42.685 --> 00:44:45.245
25¢ paper. Like it's not that big of a deal.

776
00:44:46.045 --> 00:44:47.565
Right. It's

777
00:44:47.565 --> 00:44:51.165
not that big of a deal, but what I want you to consider is

778
00:44:51.690 --> 00:44:55.530
if you look back at all the things you've ever done that were bad,

779
00:44:56.810 --> 00:45:00.410
in that moment, you're just doing the best that you knew how to do.

780
00:45:00.890 --> 00:45:01.610
Yeah.

781
00:45:02.650 --> 00:45:05.290
Given what you knew, given who you were at the time.

782
00:45:06.025 --> 00:45:08.585
So you didn't you couldn't really have done anything different.

783
00:45:08.585 --> 00:45:14.505
So whether it's good or bad isn't kind of irrelevant because you just did what you did. You know?

784
00:45:14.825 --> 00:45:18.440
And there's some consequences. Like, then they're like you're like, yeah. Like, no.

785
00:45:18.440 --> 00:45:22.599
This paper is not free. You have to pay for it. And then I don't know. Maybe you got scolded.

786
00:45:22.599 --> 00:45:26.440
Maybe you just got someone just explained to you how it worked or you have to put it back.

787
00:45:26.440 --> 00:45:28.280
Like, I don't know what happened. But, like,

788
00:45:29.079 --> 00:45:33.365
what happened happened as a consequence of it. But it wasn't that you did something bad.

789
00:45:33.365 --> 00:45:34.885
It wasn't that you did something wrong.

790
00:45:35.045 --> 00:45:38.485
It's just the way you Are you then suggesting that there's no

791
00:45:39.925 --> 00:45:42.565
like, maybe I'm misunderstanding. That there's nothing

792
00:45:43.525 --> 00:45:45.925
like, there's no good or bad. It's just

793
00:45:46.610 --> 00:45:47.650
neutral?

794
00:45:49.810 --> 00:45:52.130
In a way, yeah. In my

795
00:45:54.770 --> 00:45:58.050
experience, it's really hard to know what's good or bad.

796
00:45:58.050 --> 00:46:01.305
Things can seem really bad in the moment, but then they turn out to be good.

797
00:46:01.305 --> 00:46:05.705
Or things can seem really good in the moment, and they turn out to be bad. Right? So I know. I don't

798
00:46:06.585 --> 00:46:09.545
the way I look at it, I don't know God's plan.

799
00:46:09.945 --> 00:46:11.225
Like, I don't understand

800
00:46:11.305 --> 00:46:16.830
God's plan, and it's not my job to try to understand God's plan. And so the judgment when I judge

801
00:46:17.390 --> 00:46:20.910
myself for having done something bad or something wrong,

802
00:46:22.030 --> 00:46:28.589
in a sense, I'm actually judging God's creation because God created me this way, and I in the moment, I did the best I knew how to do.

803
00:46:29.484 --> 00:46:29.965
So

804
00:46:30.285 --> 00:46:31.325
I don't know

805
00:46:31.805 --> 00:46:34.205
what benefit there is to

806
00:46:34.845 --> 00:46:36.365
judging myself for that.

807
00:46:36.685 --> 00:46:48.540
It doesn't mean once I learned the consequences and that newspaper wasn't free and someone wrote it and someone put it there and the the storekeeper is, like, there to make money from selling it and that that's his job,

808
00:46:49.020 --> 00:46:52.460
then I'm like, oh, shit. Okay. I'm sorry. I'll put it back. Right?

809
00:46:52.460 --> 00:46:58.620
But it doesn't mean that I'm that I did something bad or I did something wrong or it doesn't mean and it doesn't mean that I'm bad.

810
00:47:02.275 --> 00:47:07.955
I get it. Can I push back a little bit just because I'm curious? No. You can't. It's my podcast.

811
00:47:07.955 --> 00:47:09.395
You don't get to push back on fucking

812
00:47:09.955 --> 00:47:11.555
yes. Go for it.

813
00:47:11.875 --> 00:47:12.435
So, like,

814
00:47:13.980 --> 00:47:18.700
again, just because I'm curious, this is gonna be like a wild example, but I just wanna hear your thoughts on it.

815
00:47:18.700 --> 00:47:19.820
So you

816
00:47:20.060 --> 00:47:23.180
go and you're like, I'm gonna kill this person. And

817
00:47:23.580 --> 00:47:24.300
you're like,

818
00:47:25.020 --> 00:47:28.300
there's, you had the intent, you had the plan, like you had it all orchestrated,

819
00:47:28.515 --> 00:47:31.635
you went and you killed the person. So would you say that that is not

820
00:47:32.115 --> 00:47:34.994
being, like that is not doing something bad?

821
00:47:36.515 --> 00:47:37.155
Or

822
00:47:37.394 --> 00:47:39.635
you're saying like the consequences,

823
00:47:41.300 --> 00:47:42.020
like in No,

824
00:47:42.820 --> 00:47:44.340
I would go all the way there and say,

825
00:47:45.380 --> 00:47:48.900
it's not right or wrong, it's not good or bad. It's just, I did what I did.

826
00:47:51.140 --> 00:47:56.355
And I'm not saying don't punish the person, don't put me in jail if I did that. I'm

827
00:47:56.355 --> 00:47:58.835
not saying there should be no consequences.

828
00:47:58.835 --> 00:48:01.155
There absolutely should be consequences for it.

829
00:48:01.475 --> 00:48:02.435
But it's not

830
00:48:02.755 --> 00:48:06.915
bad in the sense like in the moment, it was the best I knew how to do.

831
00:48:07.395 --> 00:48:09.795
It just was. And so I don't need

832
00:48:11.319 --> 00:48:12.440
to incriminate

833
00:48:12.440 --> 00:48:13.960
myself over it.

834
00:48:14.760 --> 00:48:21.560
Right? I can I can I can realize, like, I did that? I don't know why would I mean but I I okay.

835
00:48:22.119 --> 00:48:22.840
Truth.

836
00:48:23.079 --> 00:48:24.600
I murdered someone today.

837
00:48:25.079 --> 00:48:26.119
I honestly did.

838
00:48:27.535 --> 00:48:29.695
There are ants in the bed,

839
00:48:30.015 --> 00:48:31.375
and I murdered some of them.

840
00:48:31.935 --> 00:48:32.735
I did.

841
00:48:33.935 --> 00:48:35.855
Does that make me bad? I don't know.

842
00:48:36.175 --> 00:48:37.855
It's I I did what I did.

843
00:48:38.415 --> 00:48:41.690
You know? And, like, I think

844
00:48:42.410 --> 00:48:45.050
sometimes there there are certain class of people

845
00:48:45.770 --> 00:48:47.930
whose job it is to murder someone.

846
00:48:48.329 --> 00:48:53.609
And where we even fucking celebrate sometimes when they do murder someone, we tend to call them soldiers.

847
00:48:54.505 --> 00:48:57.945
Mhmm. And we send them out in the world to murder people.

848
00:48:58.025 --> 00:49:01.065
And I don't know if it's good or bad or right or wrong, but, like,

849
00:49:01.465 --> 00:49:04.025
that's their fucking job, and they do it. Right?

850
00:49:04.345 --> 00:49:04.985
Yeah.

851
00:49:05.945 --> 00:49:06.585
So

852
00:49:07.065 --> 00:49:07.705
yeah.

853
00:49:08.425 --> 00:49:08.905
That's interesting.

854
00:49:09.600 --> 00:49:10.400
Thanks

855
00:49:10.560 --> 00:49:12.320
for sharing that. That's interesting. So

856
00:49:13.440 --> 00:49:15.920
your perspective on things is that

857
00:49:16.240 --> 00:49:19.920
in the moment things are pretty much neutral, because you're just doing what

858
00:49:20.160 --> 00:49:25.455
you know, or whatever you should be doing, whatever you're told or whatever you believe is the best thing to be doing.

859
00:49:25.695 --> 00:49:29.855
And then the good or bad comes after the fact and like the consequences of that thing.

860
00:49:30.255 --> 00:49:31.455
Well, so the

861
00:49:31.775 --> 00:49:35.135
again, so yeah. The way I see it is in the moment,

862
00:49:35.375 --> 00:49:35.775
I

863
00:49:37.590 --> 00:49:42.070
excuse me, in the moment, I'm always doing the best I know how to do. Okay.

864
00:49:42.230 --> 00:49:43.510
Alright? Even

865
00:49:43.830 --> 00:49:45.190
even the most

866
00:49:46.310 --> 00:49:48.070
corrupt politician say,

867
00:49:49.525 --> 00:49:51.365
stealing, embezzling, doing whatever,

868
00:49:52.165 --> 00:49:54.885
he or she is doing the best that they know how to do in that moment.

869
00:49:54.885 --> 00:49:59.285
Like, because their whole belief system is that somehow this is a good thing to do.

870
00:49:59.285 --> 00:50:00.885
Somehow this is the right thing to do.

871
00:50:00.885 --> 00:50:06.020
Or somehow somehow this is the only thing I can do because otherwise it's gonna be worse or whatever it is.

872
00:50:06.100 --> 00:50:13.060
But there's some story in their head that makes this the best thing that they know how to do even if it's quote unquote wrong, even if it's against the law.

873
00:50:13.060 --> 00:50:13.300
Right?

874
00:50:13.835 --> 00:50:20.635
Even if it's morally, like, questionable, but in their heads, like, that is that is the only reason that they do that.

875
00:50:20.714 --> 00:50:21.515
And so

876
00:50:22.394 --> 00:50:23.195
so

877
00:50:23.674 --> 00:50:28.490
then later comes this moral judgment on ourselves. It was like, oh, I fucked that up.

878
00:50:28.490 --> 00:50:30.810
I shouldn't have done that. That was bad. That was wrong.

879
00:50:31.130 --> 00:50:32.810
And I don't think that that's helping.

880
00:50:33.609 --> 00:50:40.164
I don't think that we stop doing the bad thing because we we incriminate ourselves over it. Right?

881
00:50:40.164 --> 00:50:42.964
That little seven year old Bridget who took that paper,

882
00:50:43.525 --> 00:50:44.085
like,

883
00:50:44.565 --> 00:50:50.885
as soon as she understood, oh, this is someone else's paper, and I get to buy it from them, it's not free,

884
00:50:51.285 --> 00:50:52.885
she's not gonna do that again.

885
00:50:53.125 --> 00:50:54.565
She doesn't need to be beaten

886
00:50:54.830 --> 00:50:58.670
with a stick saying that was wrong and it was is not necessary.

887
00:50:59.070 --> 00:51:02.910
Yeah. In fact, it only makes it worse. Right? Because now it's like, oh, shit.

888
00:51:02.910 --> 00:51:03.630
I did something wrong.

889
00:51:03.630 --> 00:51:08.590
And now she starts to eat ice cream to numb that that feeling or whatever she does. Right?

890
00:51:08.590 --> 00:51:13.625
Did you know? So it's like so it's it's the judgment is not helpful in that situation.

891
00:51:13.625 --> 00:51:15.705
That's my perspective. And I'm not saying it's the truth.

892
00:51:15.705 --> 00:51:20.425
I'm just saying that's that's how I look at it. It's interesting. You have a very compassionate

893
00:51:20.425 --> 00:51:22.025
way of thinking about it, which is good.

894
00:51:25.289 --> 00:51:26.330
This is where,

895
00:51:26.569 --> 00:51:29.369
again, that faith sort of thing comes out where it's like,

896
00:51:29.849 --> 00:51:30.490
but,

897
00:51:31.690 --> 00:51:32.410
you

898
00:51:33.609 --> 00:51:35.609
read all these stories in the Bible and it's like,

899
00:51:37.005 --> 00:51:41.325
you know I mean? But no, I totally get what you're saying. And it sounds

900
00:51:42.525 --> 00:51:49.805
very similar to what I try to teach clients too, where it's like, it's all about that perception of like, what did you perceive?

901
00:51:49.964 --> 00:51:54.550
So with the seven year old example, it's like, yeah, if I was

902
00:51:54.950 --> 00:51:58.950
like you said, beaten for that, then it's like, then I would perceive X, Y and Z.

903
00:51:58.950 --> 00:52:06.305
And then therefore that's how I would continue to live my life because of that pattern that I learned versus if I was treated compassionately,

904
00:52:06.305 --> 00:52:07.744
like what sounds like how

905
00:52:08.224 --> 00:52:09.984
you live, which is beautiful,

906
00:52:10.704 --> 00:52:17.025
then I would live that pattern out and be probably more compassionate and more kind towards others who make mistakes and things like that.

907
00:52:17.025 --> 00:52:19.984
So I think that's, I think, yeah, I understand what you're saying.

908
00:52:20.589 --> 00:52:24.030
And I think all good things come from being compassionate to ourselves.

909
00:52:24.589 --> 00:52:25.230
Yeah,

910
00:52:25.390 --> 00:52:25.790
it's hard.

911
00:52:25.790 --> 00:52:32.270
The more compassion we have for ourselves, the more love we have for ourselves, the more we just naturally do compassionate and loving things.

912
00:52:32.745 --> 00:52:36.265
Where is that line then between compassion and

913
00:52:37.305 --> 00:52:38.185
constructive

914
00:52:38.185 --> 00:52:39.225
criticism

915
00:52:40.105 --> 00:52:42.665
from ourselves and also accepting it from others?

916
00:52:43.785 --> 00:52:46.425
So I think that's really hard sometimes to see where that is.

917
00:52:47.440 --> 00:52:49.280
Yeah, can you give me an example?

918
00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:52.960
I don't know.

919
00:52:55.520 --> 00:52:57.040
Even thinking of,

920
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:01.840
feel like the paper examples too,

921
00:53:02.845 --> 00:53:07.085
cut and drive, especially for a little kid. Let's say this is totally made up.

922
00:53:08.205 --> 00:53:09.325
Business example,

923
00:53:09.805 --> 00:53:10.285
where

924
00:53:11.005 --> 00:53:13.885
you really screwed up and you wrote something wrong

925
00:53:14.220 --> 00:53:20.860
client's contract and ended up that they had fifteen years to use all their coaching sessions when it's like, no, you actually wanted

926
00:53:21.020 --> 00:53:24.860
everything to be done in fifteen months or something like that, a few weeks or whatever.

927
00:53:27.185 --> 00:53:28.465
That And client,

928
00:53:28.705 --> 00:53:31.425
instead of being compassionate, comes down and is

929
00:53:31.905 --> 00:53:33.905
kind of a jerk honestly towards you.

930
00:53:33.905 --> 00:53:41.105
And they have every right to be because of their, the contract says that they have fifteen years to do this thing, but you just really needed that compassion instead.

931
00:53:41.105 --> 00:53:41.185
So

932
00:53:41.940 --> 00:53:44.660
where is that line? I don't know if that's a good example,

933
00:53:45.460 --> 00:53:47.540
but where is that line between like,

934
00:53:48.660 --> 00:53:51.380
how do you be compassionate, but also still

935
00:53:51.700 --> 00:53:53.220
like enforcing

936
00:53:53.300 --> 00:53:54.180
boundaries,

937
00:53:54.180 --> 00:53:57.875
I guess is maybe a good thing. All right, Great. I love the example.

938
00:53:58.355 --> 00:53:58.835
Let me

939
00:54:02.355 --> 00:54:03.875
I just wanna so the

940
00:54:05.315 --> 00:54:08.995
seven year old Bridget, I just wanted to because you brought that up again. Right? So

941
00:54:09.395 --> 00:54:16.060
with her, what I would do is like, I'm so I'm so excite like, I love that you're so excited about reading.

942
00:54:16.460 --> 00:54:20.460
Like and learning about the world. That's amazing. That's incredible. Let

943
00:54:21.020 --> 00:54:23.980
me let me teach you how this works. You know, these

944
00:54:24.300 --> 00:54:27.025
these newspapers are for sale. I'll

945
00:54:27.025 --> 00:54:32.065
buy this one for you. And then you pay the $0.25 And then you're like, here, have it. Enjoy it.

946
00:54:32.065 --> 00:54:33.505
Next time, you just

947
00:54:34.625 --> 00:54:40.465
pay for it out of your whatever money you have or I don't know what it was like when you were seven if you had money or however that worked.

948
00:54:40.465 --> 00:54:43.750
But I just educate and there's like nothing

949
00:54:44.550 --> 00:54:45.350
wrong done.

950
00:54:45.829 --> 00:54:50.390
Was that, sorry, didn't have to, was that taught to you or was that something that you had to learn yourself?

951
00:54:50.390 --> 00:54:53.270
I'm just curious because I feel like That's not how I was brought up for sure.

952
00:54:53.270 --> 00:54:55.190
Gonna say, I feel like that's a very like

953
00:54:55.674 --> 00:54:59.115
nice way to go about things that not a lot of us grew up with.

954
00:54:59.515 --> 00:55:00.795
No. A 100%.

955
00:55:00.954 --> 00:55:03.115
But it's when you once you realize that that,

956
00:55:03.275 --> 00:55:10.150
like, for me, it was a huge thing to recognize because I was I was of that belief that I was constantly fucking up.

957
00:55:10.150 --> 00:55:13.750
And I was like, I had fucked up all kinds of things in my life.

958
00:55:13.750 --> 00:55:18.070
And then and then I started to get really scared about fucking up in the future. Oh, shit.

959
00:55:18.070 --> 00:55:20.150
I gotta get it do it right. And, what if I do it wrong?

960
00:55:20.150 --> 00:55:23.555
And then I'm gonna be, like one or two things are gonna happen in my mind.

961
00:55:23.555 --> 00:55:28.515
Either I'm not gonna be okay or it means I'm bad. So I'm like constantly monitoring

962
00:55:28.515 --> 00:55:31.635
every behavior to see, shit, do I do it right? Do I do it wrong?

963
00:55:31.635 --> 00:55:33.795
And all this happens subconsciously.

964
00:55:33.795 --> 00:55:37.290
So once I realized that that was going on, I was like, holy shit, that's crazy.

965
00:55:38.570 --> 00:55:39.690
So I

966
00:55:40.010 --> 00:55:44.170
trained myself to stop doing it just like you would with your clients. Catching

967
00:55:44.170 --> 00:55:46.170
myself doing it and recognizing, oh,

968
00:55:47.450 --> 00:55:51.755
this is a lie. I can't do anything wrong cause I could only do what I did.

969
00:55:51.755 --> 00:55:55.755
And I couldn't have done anything else, cause I didn't. Period. End of story.

970
00:55:56.875 --> 00:55:57.675
And so

971
00:55:58.075 --> 00:55:58.635
yeah.

972
00:56:00.315 --> 00:56:04.555
Once you start to see that awareness, so that's why that's awesome. What did you say?

973
00:56:04.830 --> 00:56:07.470
Most people I feel like don't have that awareness of

974
00:56:08.350 --> 00:56:12.510
like that I did what I I did the best that I could in the moment.

975
00:56:12.670 --> 00:56:15.550
And like, that's what I could do. And you just have to forgive me. But

976
00:56:16.430 --> 00:56:24.535
it's a whole cultural lie that we can do right and wrong and, you know, and all of that, which I don't I don't believe that.

977
00:56:24.535 --> 00:56:25.575
I believe it's a lie.

978
00:56:26.055 --> 00:56:26.935
So

979
00:56:27.895 --> 00:56:29.095
to your client,

980
00:56:30.215 --> 00:56:30.535
like,

981
00:56:31.820 --> 00:56:37.740
I don't know what transpired before or after, but I was just like, I am so sorry. I screwed up.

982
00:56:37.740 --> 00:56:42.060
I when I wrote this contract, I said fifteen years, and I meant fifteen months.

983
00:56:42.380 --> 00:56:45.020
And that's totally on me, and I'm really sorry.

984
00:56:47.005 --> 00:56:49.485
Would you be okay with changing that language?

985
00:56:49.885 --> 00:56:51.565
I know it's my mistake,

986
00:56:51.805 --> 00:56:55.005
but would you be okay with that? And then like, whatever.

987
00:56:55.565 --> 00:56:59.005
And I'm like, I totally I totally I totally get it. I get where you're coming from.

988
00:56:59.670 --> 00:57:03.270
And then you can you get to decide what do you wanna do. Right? So just, again,

989
00:57:04.069 --> 00:57:08.309
person yelling, being upset, whatever, it has nothing to do with me. Plexiglass.

990
00:57:08.309 --> 00:57:11.030
Right? There's blah blah blah blah blah. I didn't do anything wrong.

991
00:57:11.715 --> 00:57:13.395
Like, I just did what I did.

992
00:57:13.395 --> 00:57:17.395
And now there's some consequences that I can deal with, but I don't need to judge myself for it.

993
00:57:17.395 --> 00:57:19.315
I don't need to judge them for their reaction.

994
00:57:19.555 --> 00:57:27.950
I see it's just someone who's feeling maybe it triggers their story about, like, never getting what they wanted or always being cheated out of something or whatever.

995
00:57:27.950 --> 00:57:31.870
It has nothing to do with me. And now we can just be like, well, what is your plan?

996
00:57:31.870 --> 00:57:35.070
Like, fifteen years is a long time. Would, like, two years work?

997
00:57:35.070 --> 00:57:37.230
Or would, like what are you what are you what are you thinking?

998
00:57:38.555 --> 00:57:40.714
And then you just figure it out.

999
00:57:40.714 --> 00:57:45.675
And if they need to do give fifteen years to use their fucking sessions, fine. Whatever. You know?

1000
00:57:46.075 --> 00:57:48.795
But you can also or you can just be like, look.

1001
00:57:48.795 --> 00:57:54.160
I get it, and I know that it's my mistake, and I'm just not going to honor it because it wouldn't feel right to me.

1002
00:57:54.160 --> 00:57:58.160
And you have every right to be upset about that. So I'm going to set, I'm going to hold

1003
00:57:58.400 --> 00:58:00.480
it to the fifteen months that was intended.

1004
00:58:01.119 --> 00:58:01.599
And

1005
00:58:02.079 --> 00:58:04.400
you can go ahead and sue me if you want.

1006
00:58:04.799 --> 00:58:05.839
That's fine too.

1007
00:58:06.555 --> 00:58:07.355
No,

1008
00:58:07.355 --> 00:58:08.475
that's really interesting.

1009
00:58:10.155 --> 00:58:11.035
And I mean,

1010
00:58:12.555 --> 00:58:15.195
example was kind of ridiculous, so it's kind of laughable,

1011
00:58:16.234 --> 00:58:16.795
but

1012
00:58:18.075 --> 00:58:21.275
it does make it seem so much like

1013
00:58:22.950 --> 00:58:25.830
less consequential, I don't wanna say less consequential,

1014
00:58:26.150 --> 00:58:27.590
but it sounds less,

1015
00:58:30.390 --> 00:58:33.030
I don't know the right word. We'll just stick with consequential,

1016
00:58:33.030 --> 00:58:33.670
where

1017
00:58:34.470 --> 00:58:34.870
it's like,

1018
00:58:35.835 --> 00:58:39.435
all just heavy. It's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme. Exactly.

1019
00:58:40.155 --> 00:58:40.715
Yeah.

1020
00:58:41.195 --> 00:58:42.315
And it can be like,

1021
00:58:42.635 --> 00:58:46.155
and then they get upset again, you're like, I hear you and I'm not going to do that.

1022
00:58:47.520 --> 00:58:53.200
Yeah. I hear you. I totally get that. I agree. I fucked up and I'm just not gonna honor that. Yeah.

1023
00:58:53.200 --> 00:58:55.920
What do you wanna do instead? And you just hold that with,

1024
00:58:56.640 --> 00:58:58.720
you know, no one's wrong. Yeah.

1025
00:58:59.040 --> 00:58:59.520
Yeah.

1026
00:59:00.080 --> 00:59:00.960
Very good.

1027
00:59:01.520 --> 00:59:01.920
It's good.

1028
00:59:02.595 --> 00:59:04.435
It makes me think I had this one

1029
00:59:05.234 --> 00:59:06.835
client last year, and

1030
00:59:07.075 --> 00:59:07.795
I

1031
00:59:08.355 --> 00:59:11.715
she was it was for the group program, so it wasn't, like,

1032
00:59:12.035 --> 00:59:15.395
anything that insane price wise. But

1033
00:59:16.200 --> 00:59:19.080
I was working with a sales coach at the time and

1034
00:59:20.520 --> 00:59:28.920
I brought the conversation to her and she was like, Wow, you really need to close this person because she's like just, because she was saying, she's like, I'm going on vacation with my family.

1035
00:59:28.920 --> 00:59:29.880
When people are open.

1036
00:59:32.185 --> 00:59:40.025
She said, I'm going on vacation with my family, I'm gonna join but like give me the next week because I'm literally like about to step onto a boat with my And

1037
00:59:40.585 --> 00:59:45.385
my personal response was like, cool, like if this is meant to be then like, it'll work out fine.

1038
00:59:45.860 --> 00:59:49.780
And if it's not, then like, she wasn't ready for it anyways, and that's fine too.

1039
00:59:50.180 --> 00:59:51.060
But so

1040
00:59:51.300 --> 00:59:55.060
I took the conversation to my sales coach and she was like, no, you have to like,

1041
00:59:55.300 --> 01:00:00.020
get her to close. She was like, send her a message saying she needs to send a deposit down,

1042
01:00:00.260 --> 01:00:01.620
do this and that and the other thing.

1043
01:00:02.315 --> 01:00:08.155
And it was like not a mean message, but it was very forceful and it was not like me at all.

1044
01:00:08.875 --> 01:00:16.210
And that woman actually responded back and was like, I was really excited to work with you and now I'm not going to work with you because of message.

1045
01:00:16.210 --> 01:00:19.650
So I actually sent her a voice message back and I was like, I'm so sorry.

1046
01:00:19.970 --> 01:00:23.170
This is what happened. I allowed this thing to happen.

1047
01:00:23.650 --> 01:00:24.850
I'm really sorry.

1048
01:00:25.090 --> 01:00:26.370
And I

1049
01:00:26.850 --> 01:00:28.290
hope you have a great vacation.

1050
01:00:28.530 --> 01:00:31.885
I'm here if you ever need anything. But again, I'm really sorry.

1051
01:00:31.964 --> 01:00:35.805
And what was so funny is she responded like immediately and she was like, thanks for sending that.

1052
01:00:35.805 --> 01:00:38.845
I'm so excited to join next week whenever I get back from vacation.

1053
01:00:39.644 --> 01:00:43.005
So I think that might have been a better example that I should have given you

1054
01:00:43.644 --> 01:00:46.045
previous one. But yeah, I just wanted to share that because

1055
01:00:46.539 --> 01:00:50.859
it can be really easy to do what other people want instead of what Right. You need to do.

1056
01:00:51.180 --> 01:00:54.300
Hey, buddy. You need to go back up. I'm not done yet.

1057
01:00:55.420 --> 01:00:56.460
There you go.

1058
01:00:58.059 --> 01:01:00.220
Yeah. Yeah. And it's yeah.

1059
01:01:01.175 --> 01:01:04.055
I love I love that your your instincts

1060
01:01:04.055 --> 01:01:05.015
on this.

1061
01:01:05.415 --> 01:01:10.855
Yep. Yeah. And it's so easy to get swayed by all of these. I don't I don't

1062
01:01:11.494 --> 01:01:14.375
like to say to even use the word closing.

1063
01:01:14.695 --> 01:01:16.615
Yeah. I like to say enroll.

1064
01:01:18.210 --> 01:01:20.050
Enrolling people, you know?

1065
01:01:20.450 --> 01:01:27.410
Yeah, but again, it's hard whenever it was like working with somebody, I was probably working with somebody who wasn't super aligned, so I shouldn't have been doing that.

1066
01:01:28.450 --> 01:01:29.410
Anyway, live

1067
01:01:29.810 --> 01:01:33.555
and learn, live and learn, and yeah. You should have because you did.

1068
01:01:33.475 --> 01:01:35.635
You should have sent that message because you did.

1069
01:01:36.435 --> 01:01:38.675
Look what came out of it. You got to be human.

1070
01:01:38.995 --> 01:01:42.355
Right? Yeah. You got to demonstrate that you're human and that you can be

1071
01:01:42.675 --> 01:01:43.395
like,

1072
01:01:43.475 --> 01:01:47.849
someone can push your fear buttons as well. Because that's, of course, this is all coming from fear.

1073
01:01:47.849 --> 01:01:51.369
Right? And so, like, god, blush because I was really scarcity, fear, all that stuff.

1074
01:01:51.369 --> 01:01:56.490
And when you had to have that voice in your head, you let that take over because you're fucking human.

1075
01:01:56.890 --> 01:01:57.450
Right?

1076
01:01:57.690 --> 01:01:58.650
Yeah. And so

1077
01:01:59.025 --> 01:02:03.025
that's all we're doing, modeling being human with each other. There's nothing wrong with that.

1078
01:02:03.184 --> 01:02:09.265
And and I love that you then just owned it and just connect it human to human again. And

1079
01:02:09.905 --> 01:02:11.105
you did fucking amazing.

1080
01:02:11.630 --> 01:02:17.790
I think so. That was good. It was a really good lesson that I learned for sure. So Yeah. Good.

1081
01:02:18.110 --> 01:02:22.270
And what matters way more than the money is the is the relationship.

1082
01:02:23.310 --> 01:02:25.470
Yeah. For sure. Definitely.

1083
01:02:26.335 --> 01:02:27.055
Yeah.

1084
01:02:27.135 --> 01:02:28.415
So sorry.

1085
01:02:29.295 --> 01:02:30.175
Keep talking.

1086
01:02:30.415 --> 01:02:31.135
You're

1087
01:02:31.455 --> 01:02:33.375
good. You have five kids.

1088
01:02:33.695 --> 01:02:37.535
Yeah. I'm used to this stuff. So Yeah. No worries.

1089
01:02:37.695 --> 01:02:38.655
Oh,

1090
01:02:38.735 --> 01:02:39.695
it's all good.

1091
01:02:39.935 --> 01:02:41.055
So yeah. The

1092
01:02:42.230 --> 01:02:43.910
so on the the

1093
01:02:45.109 --> 01:02:46.630
the money

1094
01:02:46.630 --> 01:02:48.230
and the holy thing,

1095
01:02:48.470 --> 01:02:51.270
like, I'll I'll just say for me, I would love for

1096
01:02:51.510 --> 01:02:56.630
everybody to watch my content because I think the conversations I've had with people would be way more interesting.

1097
01:02:57.305 --> 01:02:58.105
If

1098
01:02:58.105 --> 01:03:00.745
they're watching my content and then we can talk about that.

1099
01:03:00.745 --> 01:03:04.665
And we were like, oh, you said that thing that really made me think about like, yeah, let's do it.

1100
01:03:04.665 --> 01:03:06.025
Let's go. Let's go there. Right?

1101
01:03:06.025 --> 01:03:15.870
Like that to me is like when I when I talk, when I speak on stage, the conversations that I have with people after speaking are the best versus before speaking.

1102
01:03:15.950 --> 01:03:19.390
Like, there's, like it's more like small talk and, hey. What do you or whatever.

1103
01:03:19.470 --> 01:03:22.430
But, like, after this, woah. Okay. Now I have a whole

1104
01:03:23.005 --> 01:03:24.365
a whole world we can talk about.

1105
01:03:24.365 --> 01:03:29.165
So I would love for everybody to that I interact with in person to watch my content. Yeah.

1106
01:03:29.165 --> 01:03:32.125
So definitely a good point. It's a good way to think of it.

1107
01:03:32.685 --> 01:03:33.245
Yeah.

1108
01:03:33.725 --> 01:03:40.280
And so maybe, like, you you're if you just it's comes kinda comes back to the first thing about, like, owning

1109
01:03:40.440 --> 01:03:41.400
your faith.

1110
01:03:42.120 --> 01:03:42.920
Like,

1111
01:03:43.480 --> 01:03:45.880
is your fucking faith, and your faith says

1112
01:03:46.200 --> 01:03:49.000
that you can be you can be Catholic

1113
01:03:49.320 --> 01:03:49.720
and

1114
01:03:51.055 --> 01:03:52.575
believe in Jesus Christ

1115
01:03:52.735 --> 01:03:56.415
and, you know, faithful to the religion and

1116
01:03:56.975 --> 01:04:00.815
want money and visibility and have money and visibility and all these things. These

1117
01:04:01.455 --> 01:04:02.415
are not in conflict.

1118
01:04:02.940 --> 01:04:06.859
And other people might have that view that they're in conflict, then they're entitled to that view.

1119
01:04:06.859 --> 01:04:08.619
And it doesn't have anything to do with you.

1120
01:04:08.619 --> 01:04:12.700
And if they bring it to you, you can just be like, that is so exciting that you believe that.

1121
01:04:12.700 --> 01:04:14.060
I used to believe that too.

1122
01:04:14.859 --> 01:04:15.420
You know?

1123
01:04:16.155 --> 01:04:21.435
And I love that you share that with me. That is how generous of you to share your perspective.

1124
01:04:21.435 --> 01:04:25.275
You're inviting me into your world to see the world life from your perspective.

1125
01:04:25.675 --> 01:04:27.275
What an act of generosity.

1126
01:04:27.355 --> 01:04:28.155
Yeah. I love that.

1127
01:04:28.809 --> 01:04:30.330
So you're just that open

1128
01:04:30.569 --> 01:04:32.490
mindedness

1129
01:04:32.490 --> 01:04:33.290
is just,

1130
01:04:34.089 --> 01:04:35.210
I feel like,

1131
01:04:36.250 --> 01:04:37.210
very lacking

1132
01:04:37.369 --> 01:04:42.569
in the world. And I do not have lots of people around me who are like that. So it's like,

1133
01:04:43.315 --> 01:04:44.435
very foreign

1134
01:04:45.235 --> 01:04:48.355
response like that. You know what I mean? I

1135
01:04:48.835 --> 01:04:50.435
listened to this one podcast.

1136
01:04:51.715 --> 01:04:52.355
And

1137
01:04:52.995 --> 01:04:57.280
it's somewhat controversial. It's about birth and like, everything with that.

1138
01:04:57.599 --> 01:05:03.200
And one of the phrases that he always says is like, if somebody challenges you just say like, you might be right.

1139
01:05:03.760 --> 01:05:06.080
So that same idea where it's like,

1140
01:05:06.799 --> 01:05:07.920
you might be right.

1141
01:05:08.904 --> 01:05:11.065
Every every any criticism

1142
01:05:11.464 --> 01:05:16.105
or judgment that anybody can ever throw at you, just find where you agree.

1143
01:05:16.664 --> 01:05:19.144
You're

1144
01:05:19.144 --> 01:05:20.025
unholy.

1145
01:05:20.025 --> 01:05:21.464
You know what? I can find that.

1146
01:05:22.320 --> 01:05:25.840
There are tons of moments where I've been unholy, where I've done unholy things.

1147
01:05:25.840 --> 01:05:29.680
You're absolutely right. I appreciate you bringing that up. I appreciate you saying that. Thank you.

1148
01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:30.400
Yeah.

1149
01:05:30.560 --> 01:05:33.360
Yeah. You're a liar. You're absolutely right.

1150
01:05:33.360 --> 01:05:36.545
I have there are many moments where many times where I've lied. You're right.

1151
01:05:36.545 --> 01:05:40.545
And you don't have to go into like, yes, eleven years ago, said a thing that was a lie.

1152
01:05:40.545 --> 01:05:41.905
You can just be like, I agree.

1153
01:05:42.545 --> 01:05:44.065
I am. You're right.

1154
01:05:44.705 --> 01:05:49.345
I just need more people in my life like this who are like, but maybe I'm supposed to be the first one, I don't know.

1155
01:05:51.180 --> 01:05:54.860
We're like this because, yeah, I feel like this is a very unique way of

1156
01:05:55.339 --> 01:05:56.700
thinking about things

1157
01:05:57.339 --> 01:05:58.860
talking about them.

1158
01:05:59.740 --> 01:06:03.580
Good. Yeah. Have you ever read The Signs of Getting Rich?

1159
01:06:04.745 --> 01:06:09.465
The Signs of Getting Rich. No. The Signs of Getting Rich. Wallace D. Waddles.

1160
01:06:10.025 --> 01:06:12.105
Like from a 100 years ago.

1161
01:06:12.665 --> 01:06:16.585
And what I love about it for you is that it's it's all about, like,

1162
01:06:17.230 --> 01:06:18.190
it's very

1163
01:06:18.910 --> 01:06:20.270
faith based.

1164
01:06:20.590 --> 01:06:22.990
And it's like, God wants you

1165
01:06:23.390 --> 01:06:24.510
to be rich

1166
01:06:24.990 --> 01:06:28.510
so that you can enjoy all the beautiful things that God created.

1167
01:06:28.590 --> 01:06:34.855
And you can acquire books and you can go travel places and you can have nice things because God created all of it.

1168
01:06:34.855 --> 01:06:35.335
So

1169
01:06:35.655 --> 01:06:37.415
God wants you to be fucking rich.

1170
01:06:37.735 --> 01:06:38.775
I mean,

1171
01:06:39.415 --> 01:06:43.895
sure. And the way the other way I'm like, started not started, but

1172
01:06:44.380 --> 01:06:48.780
over the last few years have been thinking about it too is like, and this doesn't even have to be faith based.

1173
01:06:48.780 --> 01:06:50.540
This is just without

1174
01:06:50.700 --> 01:06:53.500
business, there's no charity. And so if

1175
01:06:53.740 --> 01:06:57.020
you don't business, have then it's like, then nobody can be charity.

1176
01:06:58.125 --> 01:07:02.205
And here's, I'm gonna tie a knot on this before we wrap up and say,

1177
01:07:02.365 --> 01:07:03.565
how many other

1178
01:07:04.125 --> 01:07:04.925
Christians,

1179
01:07:05.245 --> 01:07:06.845
and specifically Catholics,

1180
01:07:07.085 --> 01:07:11.325
do you think struggle with a similar kind of thing? Oh, so many.

1181
01:07:11.325 --> 01:07:15.890
And that's part of why I've felt like I need to start talking about it and, like, exploring it myself.

1182
01:07:16.130 --> 01:07:17.650
Yeah. So many people. And

1183
01:07:18.369 --> 01:07:24.450
the more you do from a perspective of, I don't have the answers, but I'm struggling with this and this is what I'm finding,

1184
01:07:26.385 --> 01:07:28.705
that I think is gonna resonate like fuck.

1185
01:07:29.905 --> 01:07:33.505
So I'm gonna ask a follow-up question with that. Yeah.

1186
01:07:33.505 --> 01:07:38.545
So in the online industry, it's like, you have to be the authority, be the expert, do all this stuff.

1187
01:07:38.545 --> 01:07:42.130
So what would you say to that then if if I say like, don't have all this?

1188
01:07:42.130 --> 01:07:44.370
I believe I don't have answers.

1189
01:07:44.770 --> 01:07:47.890
Bullshit. You don't have to be the authority. You have to be fucking real.

1190
01:07:49.970 --> 01:07:50.690
Okay.

1191
01:07:51.170 --> 01:07:53.250
Yeah. Very different from what the

1192
01:07:53.934 --> 01:07:55.215
gurus all say.

1193
01:07:55.535 --> 01:07:58.335
Yeah. But I mean, when you scroll Instagram,

1194
01:07:59.295 --> 01:08:05.055
do you like to follow people who are like all posturing as like, I got everything, I'm all my shit together.

1195
01:08:06.420 --> 01:08:09.860
I mean, no, because it comes off as arrogant and fake.

1196
01:08:11.380 --> 01:08:12.580
Because nobody does.

1197
01:08:13.380 --> 01:08:14.500
Right, exactly.

1198
01:08:17.140 --> 01:08:18.979
Whereas when you see people who are just like,

1199
01:08:19.685 --> 01:08:20.885
I'm

1200
01:08:20.885 --> 01:08:23.685
figuring this thing out, it's disarming.

1201
01:08:24.485 --> 01:08:25.925
Okay.

1202
01:08:28.645 --> 01:08:29.604
Nice. I think

1203
01:08:30.885 --> 01:08:33.605
you're poised to fucking crush it with this. Because

1204
01:08:34.240 --> 01:08:35.760
you are genuinely

1205
01:08:40.399 --> 01:08:41.359
a very

1206
01:08:41.920 --> 01:08:46.240
and hear this in in the way that I mean it. You're genuinely a very attractive person.

1207
01:08:47.485 --> 01:08:48.285
I mean

1208
01:08:48.685 --> 01:08:54.765
and I mean, just based on the way that you think your mind operates, your faith, your family, all the things that you're doing,

1209
01:08:55.165 --> 01:08:55.725
like,

1210
01:08:55.965 --> 01:08:58.925
you're someone that I would wanna fucking follow

1211
01:08:59.165 --> 01:09:12.499
just to see what the hell you're doing and how you're doing all of these things and how you figure this thing out with the faith and the money and the business and you do a far and you do you'd all the things that you do and the five fucking kids and one on the like,

1212
01:09:12.819 --> 01:09:15.219
to me, just you are fascinating.

1213
01:09:15.300 --> 01:09:21.234
You're super interesting and super worth following. There's a lady named Jenny Jenny Jean

1214
01:09:22.114 --> 01:09:22.914
that

1215
01:09:23.475 --> 01:09:24.994
I I came across

1216
01:09:25.234 --> 01:09:26.114
recently

1217
01:09:26.594 --> 01:09:29.874
on my Instagram. She popped up in my feed, I started following her.

1218
01:09:30.194 --> 01:09:33.579
And she's she does this she does a lot of yapping.

1219
01:09:34.060 --> 01:09:37.180
Oh, yeah. So she just, like, yaps from her kitchen talking about stuff.

1220
01:09:37.180 --> 01:09:39.180
And she's she's very strategic about it.

1221
01:09:39.180 --> 01:09:43.260
She's been, like, in in Russell Bronson's inner circle, ClickFunnels, like, this stuff.

1222
01:09:43.260 --> 01:09:52.194
So she knows, but she kinda stumbled into this way of, like, she was doing binge eating, and then she just started to flip some furniture and then, like, didn't have a lot of money.

1223
01:09:52.435 --> 01:09:55.555
Is this funny that the yapping challenge or whatever? Exactly.

1224
01:09:55.555 --> 01:09:58.515
And so she just yapped her way into a 1,200,000

1225
01:09:58.515 --> 01:10:04.880
launch. Yeah. And I I see that I see that for you. Just that very real,

1226
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:05.520
simple,

1227
01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:09.119
authentic way to show up on social media.

1228
01:10:09.680 --> 01:10:10.720
Interesting.

1229
01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:13.840
Thanks. Struggling with the things that you're struggling with and then sharing your journey.

1230
01:10:14.535 --> 01:10:16.775
Because the point is not to have it all figured out.

1231
01:10:16.775 --> 01:10:18.934
The point is just be a little bit ahead of the people

1232
01:10:19.255 --> 01:10:22.135
that wanna hire you in that particular area.

1233
01:10:22.375 --> 01:10:24.374
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

1234
01:10:24.855 --> 01:10:28.295
This is great. Thank you for all of the insights and

1235
01:10:29.130 --> 01:10:30.730
lots of things to think about.

1236
01:10:31.370 --> 01:10:34.250
Yeah. And to implement once I think I about

1237
01:10:37.290 --> 01:10:39.450
stopped thinking about them. Just do it, you know.

1238
01:10:40.410 --> 01:10:43.210
But yeah, I hear you. It's more just to get like the

1239
01:10:44.344 --> 01:10:46.744
more of that, like that spider

1240
01:10:47.145 --> 01:10:50.344
web kind of figured out where it's like, how does this relate to that?

1241
01:10:50.505 --> 01:10:52.264
How do I relate to this to that?

1242
01:10:52.344 --> 01:10:55.145
I think that the main thing is just let it settle in your nervous system.

1243
01:10:55.145 --> 01:10:57.625
And when you catch the replay here, like,

1244
01:10:58.290 --> 01:11:04.129
notice the difference between the beginning of the of the conversation and how you're showing up and and, like, now.

1245
01:11:04.449 --> 01:11:05.010
And

1246
01:11:05.730 --> 01:11:07.169
and then just, yeah,

1247
01:11:07.730 --> 01:11:08.289
start

1248
01:11:08.610 --> 01:11:11.730
you have your process. Whatever. I'm I'm a quick start in the Colby's.

1249
01:11:11.730 --> 01:11:14.905
I'm like, just start doing it. But whatever whatever your process is,

1250
01:11:15.225 --> 01:11:16.744
do that. But

1251
01:11:17.225 --> 01:11:17.625
yeah.

1252
01:11:17.625 --> 01:11:23.065
Like I said, I think you're sitting on a freaking gold mine just being fucking you because you are

1253
01:11:23.545 --> 01:11:24.585
you're quite

1254
01:11:24.665 --> 01:11:25.864
quite the

1255
01:11:27.290 --> 01:11:29.610
quite the force of nature.

1256
01:11:29.930 --> 01:11:30.810
Thanks.

1257
01:11:30.810 --> 01:11:34.890
That's funny you say that because you're the second one this week to tell me that.

1258
01:11:34.890 --> 01:11:37.130
So to tell me to like talk about this stuff.

1259
01:11:37.690 --> 01:11:39.690
Yeah. It's really cool. So

1260
01:11:41.165 --> 01:11:44.204
can you give me, like, one or two things that I can do

1261
01:11:44.765 --> 01:11:46.764
then to sort of implement this stuff?

1262
01:11:47.485 --> 01:11:48.925
Yes,

1263
01:11:50.445 --> 01:11:55.480
I can. But I think you can. Tell me what are the one or two things that you wanna do from this?

1264
01:11:55.560 --> 01:12:00.760
See, I don't want to just say like, be more authentic because that's not really like an action step.

1265
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:05.800
Sorry. My husband just got home, so the baby wants to go see him. It's

1266
01:12:05.800 --> 01:12:06.520
probably

1267
01:12:07.975 --> 01:12:09.175
well,

1268
01:12:09.335 --> 01:12:13.335
I can look through social to see what like that vibe check is.

1269
01:12:16.135 --> 01:12:20.295
And then trying to figure out those ones that were like the good vibes,

1270
01:12:20.700 --> 01:12:24.300
what I was doing, where I was like, what was the environment around those?

1271
01:12:24.940 --> 01:12:26.059
And do more of that.

1272
01:12:28.540 --> 01:12:34.435
So I think the vibe thing comes more from that desire to hide a little bit cause you're scared of being seen.

1273
01:12:34.435 --> 01:12:35.955
So I think it's downstream from that.

1274
01:12:35.955 --> 01:12:43.475
So I don't think you need to worry about the vibe so much more worry, like notice when you're not looking, wanting to be seen.

1275
01:12:43.795 --> 01:12:47.235
Okay. That was the next thing I was gonna say is like, really

1276
01:12:47.710 --> 01:12:51.629
talk about like, because my faith is super important to me, talk about it. Yeah.

1277
01:12:52.190 --> 01:12:55.550
In a general sense, because I do talk about it, but I talk about it more generally.

1278
01:12:55.630 --> 01:12:59.149
So be more specific about it. I would do a series

1279
01:13:00.030 --> 01:13:00.909
of reels

1280
01:13:01.275 --> 01:13:06.795
where you're just yapping to the camera, just hold up your damn phone and start talking and just say,

1281
01:13:07.915 --> 01:13:09.114
I'm a Catholic,

1282
01:13:09.195 --> 01:13:12.875
and I was brought up learning that having money

1283
01:13:13.530 --> 01:13:19.690
was not holy or whatever your version of those words are, and then just get into it and just start talking.

1284
01:13:19.690 --> 01:13:21.690
And that becomes a series that you do,

1285
01:13:21.930 --> 01:13:27.290
like like, you just talk out how you're how you're working through this for yourself.

1286
01:13:28.255 --> 01:13:28.974
Yeah.

1287
01:13:29.614 --> 01:13:31.135
So I do something like that.

1288
01:13:31.855 --> 01:13:36.895
Look into that book, the science of getting rich, and keep cutting blurriness because it does feel like

1289
01:13:37.215 --> 01:13:43.180
And then you can talk out loud as you read each chapter and, like, I just read this chapter, and here's what it says, this is what it brings up to me.

1290
01:13:43.180 --> 01:13:47.180
And I feel all this like, all this guilt and shame around him, but it also feels very exciting.

1291
01:13:47.180 --> 01:13:50.380
Like, just whatever the fuck it brings up for you and just share I'm

1292
01:13:50.380 --> 01:13:53.660
sort of not I'm reading The four Hour Workweek right now. I don't know if you've read.

1293
01:13:54.385 --> 01:13:56.704
I've sort of been doing that with that book,

1294
01:13:58.145 --> 01:14:00.144
but I can do more of that for sure.

1295
01:14:00.625 --> 01:14:01.104
Yeah.

1296
01:14:02.465 --> 01:14:04.465
This was great. Thank you, I appreciate it.

1297
01:14:05.185 --> 01:14:06.625
I think that can really like,

1298
01:14:07.190 --> 01:14:09.989
how to be a Catholic and relate to money.

1299
01:14:10.150 --> 01:14:12.949
I think that right there is such

1300
01:14:13.270 --> 01:14:17.749
a pillar for you that's gonna really hit with a lot of people that you would really love to work with.

1301
01:14:17.989 --> 01:14:18.630
Yeah,

1302
01:14:19.110 --> 01:14:22.150
it would. It's just hard. So I need to just kind of get over it and just

1303
01:14:22.755 --> 01:14:25.075
embrace it and it'll be fine. Yeah.

1304
01:14:25.475 --> 01:14:33.395
And maybe you're gonna have some people at church that come up to you and were like, you're all talk about money and blah, you're so unholy and bad and whatever.

1305
01:14:33.395 --> 01:14:35.395
And then you're like, you know what? I

1306
01:14:35.875 --> 01:14:37.875
used to think that too. And now I'm not so sure.

1307
01:14:38.540 --> 01:14:41.660
Right? You don't have to defend yourself and be like, well, it is holy. Whatever. No.

1308
01:14:41.660 --> 01:14:45.980
You're just like, I used to believe exactly what you're believing, and now I'm not so sure anymore.

1309
01:14:46.219 --> 01:14:50.219
I'm just sitting in that space of, like, I don't really know what to believe. Whatever.

1310
01:14:50.540 --> 01:14:56.635
And then other people are gonna come up to you, and they'd be like, you know what, that thing that you said there, I feel the same way.

1311
01:14:56.635 --> 01:15:00.795
I'm struggling with the same thing. I hope nobody notices. You you're gonna get both.

1312
01:15:00.795 --> 01:15:03.035
I actually had somebody do that to me a couple weeks ago.

1313
01:15:03.035 --> 01:15:05.755
She was like, can you talk more about this? And I was like,

1314
01:15:07.275 --> 01:15:08.635
Exactly. Yes. Okay.

1315
01:15:09.540 --> 01:15:11.620
That's when you know it's working. Yeah.

1316
01:15:11.780 --> 01:15:14.739
Yeah. Thank you again, though. I know we're overtime, so I appreciate it.

1317
01:15:15.140 --> 01:15:16.020
All good.

1318
01:15:16.180 --> 01:15:20.820
Appreciate you, Bridget. Such a joy to be with you again. You too. All right.

1319
01:15:20.820 --> 01:15:23.540
You're doing good things, so keep it up, please. Thank you.